Resubmitting Mass Burial Submergence with the following changes:
Changelog:
- Removed/reworded descriptive elements of the technique.
- Clarified exact radius instead of the previous untenable "long radius."
- Removed footnote stating "must be last technique used."
- Reworded the note of Church Grim using "any known technique without restriction" to only using up to S-rank earth techniques.
- Reassessed the movement speed debuff suffered to stronger undead such as Edo Tensei from being "halved" to "reduced by 3 levels" to reflect recent rule changes involving debuffs and movement speed as a whole.
(Gādian Ikatsui Gigei: Shuukai Maisou Shizumeru) - ✢ Church Grim Arts: Mass Burial Submergence ✢
Type: Supplementary
Rank: Forbidden
Range: Short-Long
Chakra: 50 (-20 per turn)
Damage: N/A
Description: The use of Shuukai Maisou Shizumeru is often defined as sacrilegious among the Church Grim; often relied upon as a last ditch effort to subjugate the dead into a state of final rest that consequently forces the living to face the same. The technique is first enacted by the Church Grim letting out a bellowing howl into the air similar to that of when they are enacting their "Resurgence Overrule" ability that leaves a rippling effect across the ground in front of them,
acting as the dispersive method of their chakra, resulting in the introduction of the Grim's chakra into the earth, spreading it rapidly across a large encompassing area,
up to a maximum of 50 meters in radius. As a result, the earth will begin to move
in rapid adjustment, falling apart into splintering plates, serving as the only preluded sign of the following events before they take full effect. After a brief quaking shift of the ground that disrupts any movement nearby individuals may be attempting, throwing them off balance similarly to "
Earth Release: World Shaking",
the earth with incredible momentum will begin to uproot itself into the shaping of an immense structure, forming and encompassing the entire 50 meter radius that will become defining as the Church Grim's "domain." From the outside, the appearance is like that of a castle whittled from the shell of a mountain. From the inside however, the domain is shaped into what appears to be the mocked structure of an immense Graveyard and Church; everything whittled, carved and formed out of the faces and formations of the earth that they are surrounded by. While in this new environment, it acts as the Church Grim's "domain," imparting upon the Grim a series of benefits
-henceforth referred to as "Tenets"- that is meant to serve in expediting their efforts in returning those brought there to their grave.
Throughout the duration of Shuukai Maisou Shizumeru, the large structure will begin to sink into the earth as if being submerged and buried within it, acting as if one large coffin that the Grim uses as a manner of a "mass burial of the dead." With each turn that passes, starting from the first turn that it is activated, a new tenet will take effect, allowing the user to choose 1 out of the 3 possible tenets to take effect until all 3 are active on the third and final turn, not requiring to be activated in any particular order.
Guardian's Bulwark - takes the form of acting like a natural force that is applied onto the field via the surrounding earth. While the Church Grim is active, they are perpetually funneling chakra into the state of the domain that now acts as the reintroduced active field of battle, every wall and surface within the cavern exuding the chakra the Grim is applying to maintain the environment. Because of this, the chakra not only acts as a sort of smokescreen against Dojutsu users, effectively acting as a blinding effect to such eye enhancements, it also serves to naturally draw upon the chakra of all those that are not the Grim or their Summoner. More specifically, any foreign chakra that is molded into a technique while within the cavern suffers a one rank degrade, or -20 damage equivalent.
Guardian's Terror - acts as an extension of the Church Grim's inherent ability "Resurgence Overrule." Where this unique ability would normally only impart it's effects onto those that are Undead, such as Edo Tensei, while within the cavern this ability can effect all those that are deemed foreign to the Church Grim (excluding the Grim's Summoner), regardless if they are Undead or alive, causing those caught in the Grim's horrific howl to see a reduction of their base speeds by one rank if considered Alive (Sage reduced to Jounin, Jounin reduced to Chunin, etc). Undead suffer the same drawbacks as they would normally but perpetually suffer +40 damage from all attacks made by the Church Grim (not the Summoner).
Guardian's Authority - prevents those that are caught within Shuukai Maisou Shizumeru's cavern from leaving it through normal means, such as through the use of techniques like "
Earth Release: Hiding in Rock Technique". Any attempt to submerge oneself into the surfaces of the cavern will result in immediate rejection of the opposing chakra, nullifying the attempted use of such techniques due to the coating of the Grim's chakra being infused within the surfaces of the cavern. The use of space-time or transfer techniques that do not rely on passing through the earth in some way are the exception.
Notes:
-Once activated, this technique lasts for only
3 turns, meant to serve as a short but powerful field advantage.
-This technique may only be used once per battle and can only take effect if standing upon solid ground.
-Once within the cavern,
the Church Grim may only use up to S-rank earth techniques.
-Once the
3 turn time limit is reached or the Grim is defeated/dispersed, all will remain within the cavern but may leave through any means, no longer being withheld by "Guardian's Authority." Additionally at the end of the
3 turns, the Church Grim will disperse and cannot be resummoned for the remainder of the fight.
-It is possible to avoid or counter the technique, in which case half the chakra cost is spent and nothing but the change in the terrain (breaking up the earth) occurs.
Declined by Imperfect.
Okay, with the larger stuff out of the way, going to hone in on some issues with hindsight I should've seen before with the listed abilities. I was focusing more on the mechanical side of everything last time, a la pulling everyone a hundred meters below sea level for basically 1 turn before it ended. You've still opted for a shorter duration, but I'm not going to badger you over it.
So, that first ability. In a vacuum, neither effect is really strong, but you have them stacked, with the second being more of an issue later down the line, but I'll get to that. Stacking them when they don't really have anything to do with one another is weird. So because your Grimm is constantly funneling it's own Chakra into the environment to maintain it, the environment is siphoning Chakra out of everything that isn't you or your Grimm to weaken them? Those are polar opposites. And for the blinding effect, there needs to be something present in the air for it to affect Doujutsu. Graveyards can be misty in the morning, making them very ominous, so there's a valid excuse for that. I'd split them up so it becomes more of a choice, and makes more sense.
Now we get to this second ability, and I'm really surprised I didn't comment on it before. You are applying your Unique Contract ability to even alive targets, reducing living targets speed by one entire Bio Rank's worth of speed, and inflicting an additional 40 damage to undead. First of all allowing the Contract passive to affect everyone defeats the purpose of making it, and the Contract anti-Undead themed, but moreover than this, between this application of the Contract Ability and the Guardian's Bulwark you're capped on buffs/ debuffs, but actually exceed the limit when it comes to undead enemies. Additional damage inflicted is basically like anti-mitigation, and while it's not regulated (yet), it's still absolutely classified as a debuff. +40 damage from the Grimm, plus up to an additional +40 from Resurgence Overrule itself, and then on top of that a -20 damage debuff on Guardian's Bulwark. It's conditional, but it absolutely exceeds the two boosting limit for any damage buff or debuff interactions. At the very least you're capped for interactions against everything else. I'd say this one needs to go back to the workshop, and given a more streamlined effect. However it's done, I can't let any application exceed boosting limits, and as is, this does that, and is more than I feel comfortable changing with this check. I recommend a bit of a rework.
For Guardian's Authority, we've got another technicality issue. Space-Time is Space-Time. With it you pass through Space, regardless of whether that space is occupied by air, water, earth, etc. If an Obito user were to employ Kamui, and "pass through the earth", this wouldn't do anything to stop that, as while he's technically travelling through the ground, it's actually Space he's passing through, which is entirely different than the other example you gave, like the Hiding in Rock technique. There are no Space-Time techniques that I can think of that are actually travelling through anything but Space-Time. That's why they're space time.
Link to original Church Grim Contract submission:
Approved here.
Resubmitting Church Grim contract with the following edits:
Changelog:
- Updated active signers of the contract and current known summoning animals.
- Removed/reworded various descriptive elements to the animal/contract as a whole.
- Reworked and clarified their movement capabilities, including specific values and mounting utility.
- Reorganized the contract visually.
Summoning Animal: Church Grim (Spectral Hound Church Guardian)
Scroll Owner: Red-Robin
Other Users who have signed contract:
Howard, Mirai (2/3)
Summoning Boss if existing: N/A
Other Summoning Animals tied to contract:
Ruth (1/5)
Description and Background: The Church Grim is a guardian spirit commonly referred to in English and Scandinavian folklore. This mythical spirit typically oversees the welfare of a church, protecting the churchyard from those who would profane or commit sacrilege against it. The Scandinavian Church Grim is also known as the Kyrkogrim (Swedish) and Kirkegrim (Danish). It often appears as a large, spectral black dog with a variety of possible sizes, ranging anywhere from 1-2 meter in length (roughly 3-6 feet) and up to 2 meters in height (roughly 6 feet). Each Church Grim has a unique shape and form as well characteristics that are malleable to it's own will, generally dependent on the amount of Chakra at it's disposal and the rank of the particular summoning. Church Grim also have the capacity to perform Natural Abilities respective to the shape of a canine that they take. Biting (up to summoning rank damage), tackling and clawing strikes (up to C-rank damage) among a few examples, with the damage capability depending on the base rank of the summoned Grim, and each costing one of the user's three moves per turn. They can also be mounted by the user and utilized for movement purposes.
Standardly, as canine-oriented animals that travel on four limbs, Church Grim travel at speeds x2 that of the summoner's speed, but upon being mounted, the user is afforded the means to benefit from a 1.5x speed boost. While mounted, the user may only perform techniques that does not require hand seals or consistent source locations to conjure from, remaining consistent to any reasonable uses when in motion.
Basic Ability #1:
⸻⸻⸻
All Grim have the means to manipulate the shape of their tail into a long, whip-like appendage that can extend up to approximately 5 meters (roughly 16 feet). This tail can function similarly to an actual whip and can be infused with Chakra by either the Grim (limited to Earth and Fire) or the user to apply unique effects to it (Fire Chakra causing the tail to ignite, Lightning Chakra causing the tail to spark, etc) while also making it resilient to harm from respective Chakras that scale with rank of the Church Grim, but also become susceptible to counter elements, respectively. Note that this does not apply directly to the main body of the Church Grim as the Chakra that results in such sustainability or susceptibility is solely concentrated in the tail of the Grim, limiting it's advantages/disadvantages to the tail only.
Basic Ability #2:
⸻⸻⸻
Church Grim have a natural affinity to Earth Chakra (up to summoning rank +1), giving them the capacity to perform Jutsu without the need for handseals, utilizing their tail or mouth for most conjuring points of Jutsu. Their affinity to Earth is presumed to be given by the premise that a Church Grim is created through being buried alive in the earth beneath the foundation of a Church and thus becomes the spectral guardian known as a Church Grim. Church Grim have also been known to have the capacity to manipulate Fire Chakra as well (up to summoning rank), but lack the capacity to make proper use of both Chakra types at the same time, preventing them from being capable of using any advanced elements that would correlate between the two base elements (ie. Lava). Despite this, it isn't impossible for a Church Grim to use
both affinities separately from both basic elements, namely to perform techniques such as "(Doton/Katon: Saruiwa) - Earth/Fire Release: Monkey Rock," leaving strategic formations between it and it's Summoner brimming with possibilities if used wisely.
Basic Ability #3:
⸻⸻⸻
Though all Church Grim have the capacity to speak and even communicate telepathically with their summoner due to the spiritual link they share, only Church Grim of A-rank
and above are capable of a unique process that allows them to take the shape of a humanoid being, generally relative to characteristics similar to the nature of their original form (ie. if the Grim seems to be a bit older, their fur might have grey patches or streaks, then they may also take the shape of an older person as well with similar characteristics, etc). While in this form, Church Grim are incapable of performing any Chakra-related techniques due to the need for constant concentrated Chakra pooled toward the process of maintaining this form, thus leaving it as a entirely a supplementary, cosmetic skill.
Unique Ability:
⸻⸻⸻
Finally, being guardians of places of religious significance, and beings that abhor sacrilegious acts, all Church Grim have a unique ability called "Resurgence Overrule." As Guardians of churches which are frequently associated with graveyards and cemeteries, Church Grim are naturally tasked with the duty of ensuring the eternal rest of those who have died and been laid in their burials. As such, Church Grim chase away grave robbers and any who would dare to disturb the dead. However, they are not always successful, resulting in the conjuring of Undead beings. Church Grim are capable of sensing the presence of restless souls that have been resurrected from their graves such as the Zombies, Edo Tensei, etc. When in the presence of these death-deprived beings, a Church Grim may activate Resurgence Overrule at the cost of one of the user's 3 Jutsu per turn
if in battle, otherwise it may be activated passively out of combat to enforce an authority over the very existence of the Undead within their presence. This takes the form of a vengeful, bellowing howl that engulfs the surrounding field with an aura similar to Killing Intent, which reduces the defense of all Undead within their presence, causing them to take additional damage that scales relatively to their proximity to the Grim (Long Range: +10, Mid-Range: +20, Short-Range: +40 damage), which naturally increases all incoming damage directed at the Undead within the Grim's presence. Depending upon the rank of the Undead caught within the presence of the Grim's Overrule, weaker Undead targets will immediately falter, the very structure of their fragile shells that their restless spirits are trapped within crumbling, returning them to the Earth without the need for any physical engagement. In stronger, or generally more resilient targets like Edo Tensei, their overall capabilities are affected, causing their base movement to be
reduced by 3 levels, and the damage of their techniques to be reduced by 1 Rank, or -20, which count as an active debuff.
Declined by Imperfect.
I've said it to enough people at this point to be common knowledge. You're not allowed to put a speed modifier in your Summon's general description and information. That's an ability, one that states that every animal on your contract moves at that given speed. That's got nothing to do with a description of the animal, or their history, so why is it there? Placement aside why is it x2 of the Summoner's speed? Doesn't clarify base or current speed, just x2. So if you're a Jonin user and you've taken off your leg weights, you're at 20, and then your Church Grimm can move at 40 speed? Or the same 20 you can? Sorry, but that's a no to all of that. No to x2, and no to it being based on the Summoner's speed. The latter doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and the former is too big a boost to allow passively. The most I've ever allowed is speed equivalent to a given rank based on that Summon's Rank, with Jonin and in rare instances Sage speed for S-Rank and Forbidden Rank Summons. Others have tried in previous submissions, and they got told the same.
I can see the need to update the Unique given the Jutsu Speed Debuffing rules, but seeing this "I'll hide a speed boost or other tangible ability that should be listed as an actual ability on my contract in the general description of my animal's General Summon info and hope it doesn't get noticed" strat pop up again genuinely angers me. It's not clever, and it's not going to work.
Link to original Ruth personal summoning submission:
Approved here.
Resubmitting Ruth personal summoning technique with the following edits:
Changelog:
- Reassessed summoning rank from A-rank to S-rank with appropriate stats to reflect.
- Reframed technique name.
- Added new mechanic that grants Earth-based techniques used by Ruth specifically a +20 damage boost.
- Removed/reworded various descriptive elements of the technique.
- Removed the mention of limited uses of the natural abilities such as biting, tackling and clawing as it seemed needless.
(
Kuchiyose Gādian Ikatsui: Rutsu)
✢ Summoning
Church Grim Technique:
Ruth ✢
Type: Supplementary/Summon
Rank:
S-rank
Range: Short
Chakra Cost:
40
Damage: N/A
Description: This technique grants the user the means to summon the Church Guardian (also known as Church Grim) Ruth, who is the personal summon for Chise. The user, following one of the typical means of summoning, whether it be through hand seals, a summoning scroll, or summoning tattoo, bring forward the Church Grim Ruth. Ruth is a large, jet black canine with red eyes that consist with the characteristics of a Church Grim. He stands roughly 4 feet in height and approximately 6 feet in length from tailbone to snout, but up to 22 feet long in total when accounting for the maximum length of his tail up to 16 feet independently. As an
S-rank summoning, Ruth is capable of performing the two basic elements of Earth and Fire that the Church Grim is known for; manipulating their Chakra with precision and efficiency that allows them to perform up to
S-rank techniques from both elements without the need for hand seals or gestures. Exceptionally, due to Ruth's nature as a Church Grim and their natural affinity for the Earth Element,
in addition to his own personal unique experience as a Church Guardian and having faced countless undead during the unraveling of the Underworld into the world of the living, requiring him to manage and manipulate the Earth with rigorous intensity upon several occasions, Ruth has developed an exceptional understanding of not only his own origins as a Church Grim, but also the Earthen element as a whole, he is capable of performing Earth-based techniques with a boost of +20 damage, counting as one of two possible boosts. Due to the religious significance of Ruth's origins and the causation for his boost in damage, he is incapable of receiving boosts from any other source that does not directly relate to Church Grim. Finally, like all Church Grim, Ruth is capable of performing the natural ability of biting (A-rank damage), while tackling and clawing (C-rank damage), at the cost of one of the user's 3 Jutsu slots per turn each.
Approved by Imperfect.