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  1. #1
    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Ok, so here's the second chapter. IF anyone is interested, heh. By the way, I would really appreciate some CnC, I don't mind. Thank you!

    Disclaimer: All the drawings belong to their respective owners.

    CHAPTERS:

    Chapter 2: Old teachings.





    She closed the doors from the morgue, put the keys in her pockets and headed towards the exit. Tomorrow would've been a complicated day. A lot of things had happened this night and it was prior to take care of everything. As she closed the door from the hospital's entrance, when her head raised as she had her look on the ground all the time, a figure appeared in front of her.
    - Sai! she exclaimed surprised. What could he be doing at this late hour in night? Did he followed her, does he knows something? These were just some of the worries she had at the moment. She watched him straight in the eyes as some wind blew some stripes of her cherry blossom hair.
    - Late in the night, doing your job as always, Sakura-san! he replied with his fake-type smile. He was doing it from the bottom of his heart though, still, human feelings were a nebula to him. But he was working on it.
    Sakura smiled relieved. He doesn't know anything. Phew! she though to herself. Not that it would be something she'd keep a secret, but for the moment it was better if she didn't worried anyone without having an accurate info. Plus, everything was taken care of granted Katsuyu's presence in every corner of Konoha. Tomorrow would be another day, in which she would have to take care of everything; reporting to Tsunade and from there on decide what was best to do.
    - Oh, yes, I just had to sort of some things around here, she responded smiling as she tried to look less suspicious. And she was managing to do it well. After all, she was able to trick him various times. When you get to know feelings that well, in the end you manage to rule over them, to show them or hide them, depending of the situation. Although she was always that little girl that couldn't control her feelings at all, even if that was a prior rule for a ninja, given the last events she'd been through, as her heart closed, she got better and better at hiding emotions, showing none... or showing fake ones. She was on the right way to finally become a fine shinobi.
    -But what about yourself, what are you doing at this late hour at night? Sakura asked curious as she wanted to know more regarding the fact that if indeed he didn't noticed what had happened moments ago or he was bluffing.
    - Oh, me? Nothing... I couldn't get asleep and decided to take a walk. Since my sleeping habits got a little bad lately, I decided to do something constructive with this time so I decided to take a walk and look for some Konoha landscapes. I wanna draw some and finally put a title! he answered her smiling in the same silly way.
    - Oh, that's so nice! Sakura replied. I see you really learned more about feelings and emotions lately! she exclaimed in a bit of excitement. Though at first, when Sai joined Team 7, Sakura had her problems with him as he was more of a machine rather than a human, as time passed by, Sai changed and Sakura really enjoyed that. In the end she accepted him as a part of their team and started helping him in her own way with getting to know the outside world. Even though at times she might have been a little bit off the balance, who else could learn him more about emotions, feelings, about being a human being more than her? She was perfect embodiment of being a perfect person with flaws. Because that's what defines us in the end, being perfect with flaws. That's what a human being is about.
    - Yes, I did! Sai answered, excitement being noticeable on his entire face. But few seconds afterwards Sai got very serious. But what about you, Sakura-san? How are you doing lately? Still haven't done what you said you'll be doing?
    Sakura tried to avoid these questions with a false smile but Sai saw through it in an instance.
    - Don't! Don't even try to lie to me with that fake smile. I may not be able to read you in most of the times, but there is this particular situation where you can't hide it. Not even from me. I admit that I might not be able to understand yet all the emotions of a human being but I've been really working on that and you, when it comes to him... you're an open book, Sakura-san! Sai added on the same serious tone. You haven't told him, have you?
    In that moment, Sakura's whole face got saddened. She put her look on the ground, sighed and put her palm on her forehead.
    - You know I cannot do that, don't you? she responded on a low voice. I... I don't want to do the wrong... she added while immediately being cut by Sai.
    - You are doing the wrong thing now! By keeping this inside. By not letting it go... by keeping a silly promise to yourself that it was done for nothing! I told you, I might not know you hundred percent but I know what's inside there when it comes to him! This is where you cannot lie to me! Sai added on a bold voice. In the next moment Sakura grabbed violently his shirt collar and pulled him.
    - What do you know? What do you know about anything! You pretend you know me but you don't know a bit! Not even a single bit about me. Stop pretending like you do! You'll never understand it because you never felt it! She screamed at him while kept shaking him. Sai was barely keeping his ground. She was powerful even without her techniques and everytime she got nervous, she just couldn't control herself and maneuvered people she got in touch with like toys. In the end, she wasn't called The Second Tsunade for nothing. At times she was even more temperamental than her master. No wonder people said she'd surpass her one day. Not only in techniques, but seemed like in personality as well.
    - Sa... Sakura-chan! Sai tried to reply through the shakes Sakura gave him.
    - Shut up! she yelled. Don't ever, ever try to preach me about things like these. Don't ever forget who helped you understand the world around you better. So next time, keep your advises for yourself! Sakura added while aggressively pushed him into the wall. Sai landed on his back from the push as Sakura left the place.
    - Don't even dare to follow me! her voice was heard from meters away.
    - I won't even try to, Sai said to himself while he raised from the ground. He shook the dust from his clothes as he watched her leaving.
    "Why, Sakura? Why would you put yourself in such misery that is not even necessary. If you won't do things sooner rather than later you might lose at your own game. Though I wonder, what game are you planning? What's in your head? Strange how although we spent so much times together and if, from times to times, you're ready to read as an open book, at times, it's like I hit myself on a big wall. And you're just a cover book that won't open at any costs. What are you planning, what are you thinking?" Sai though to himself.
    Well, the night was kinda over for him, after this encounter with Sakura he decided to go home. He would try to sleep to recover himself after the shook he took from Sakura.
    "What a temper!" he said, smiling as he started to walk away from the place heading to his house.
    As Sakura got away from the place, she headed for her house. She put her hand in her pockets and walked away looking at the starry sky. She started thinking at what Sai said to her. Was he right? Was he wrong? Was Sasuke right? Or everybody else who could notice what was going on with her, but still decided to keep it secret in respect to her decision. "Sasuke, what would you have done in this situation?" she asked herself. "Hmpf! Silly as always... you gave me an advice though I keep asking myself what you would have done. On well, guess I am silly as always."
    While thinking at that, her whole face got saddened. She missed Sasuke in a way, he had his special place in her heart, the very first guy she was thrilled for. Even if it was a young girl crush, as she grew-up, she started caring about him in another way, not that little silly girl way. In the end she wanted them all to be happy but, unfortunately, at the very end it was impossible and this regret emotion had a special place in the corner of her soul.

    "I wonder how you would've been if all that burden wasn't placed on your shoulders. Probably you would've been the guy all Konoha girls would've been sighed for, and I'd still be that little annoying Sakura..." she added to herself while a small piece of smile bloomed on her figure.
    As she was thinking at "What If" situations while walking down the road to her place, in less than 15 minutes, Sakura got home. She opened the door, took out the boots, the coat and put it in the hanger which was positioned on the back of the door and walked barefoot right to her room. Then she changed her clothes, took some pajamas and got in her bed.


    As she leaned, she pulled her dark brown blanket on her, stood there watching the ceiling for some moments and afterwards, closed her eyes.
    "It's better this way, Sasuke..." she tried to convince herself as she tried to get into the dreams world.
    Now, that he wasn't here anymore, to her, Sasuke became some sort of confessor. It was that someone that she could tell her deepest secrets to without having to worry about being exposed. Soon after, she fell asleep. The world of dreams kidnapped her for the time being. She once more sighed afterwards just look totally at peace. She needed that peace. Her soul was tormented enough and tomorrow would be a very busy day. New responsibilities weighted on her shoulders.
     
         

  2. #2
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Cool. Seems I'd have to read chap 1 to understand. Apart from a few errors it was well written. The pic was a nice touch. +rep.
     
         

  3. #3
    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Cool. Seems I'd have to read chap 1 to understand. Apart from a few errors it was well written. The pic was a nice touch. +rep.
    Thank yoou!
    Errors, what errors? Where? Please correct me if I did something wrong, I don't mind.
    Might've slipped away though usually I throw a second look at it but, this was written pretty late in the night so this might be one of the causes.
     
         

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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    I love how you present us her feelings, I find it interesting :crazy:
    Great chapter ^^
     
         

  5. #5
    Rikudo Sennin ~Uzumaki~'s Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chatte View Post
    Thank yoou!
    Errors, what errors? Where? Please correct me if I did something wrong, I don't mind.
    Might've slipped away though usually I throw a second look at it but, this was written pretty late in the night so this might be one of the causes.
    Forget the errors, everyone makes mistakes. I'd be more enthusiastic as I say its great but I'm SO damn hungry . Its great. ^_^
     
         

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    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by -Tsuki View Post
    I love how you present us her feelings, I find it interesting :crazy:
    Great chapter ^^
    Thank yoou! Well, that's how she's portrayed even in the series, with feelings... and it would be a waste to try to change her. Though I did a bit, but not completely.
    I'm trying to keep their personalities as close as possible to the original ones. :D Hope I'll manage that, hehe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Forget the errors, everyone makes mistakes. I'd be more enthusiastic as I say its great but I'm SO damn hungry . Its great. ^_^
    , go eat and then come and tell me where are those errors. I am not forgetting them! :D I can't do that. My inner self won't let me do it, lol.
     
         

  7. #7
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Awesome Chatte :D
     
         

  8. #8
    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldFlash View Post
    Awesome Chatte :D
    Hey, there!! Thank yoou! In the end it seems it happened what you advised me to do, few months ago, hehe. :D
     
         

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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    this is good.
    it always breaks my heart (in a good way) when sakura starts talking to sasuke in her head.
    i just can feel that emotional upheaval that she was going through!

    please send me the link whenever u post a new chapter :o
    i would really love to see how the story would develop and ends. :y
     
         

  10. #10
    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldAngel View Post
    this is good.
    it always breaks my heart (in a good way) when sakura starts talking to sasuke in her head.
    i just can feel that emotional upheaval that she was going through!

    please send me the link whenever u post a new chapter :o
    i would really love to see how the story would develop and ends. :y
    Aww, thank yoou! It means so much to me to be able to transpose the feelings into the reader.
    And yes, this Sasuke talking will play a big role. This is the SasuSaku element I am putting in the story. In the end, Sasuke is the one she first had feelings for and this is her connection to him after his death
    And of course I'll let you know! Count on that! :D
    Well, I have some ideas of how I want it to end, though I have to choose which ending from the many possibilities I have in my head and, as well, working my way through it.

    Thank you once again for reading it!
     
         

  11. #11
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    I liked it so much I forgot to comment it...

    It was very nice, your word choice was amazing!

    I'd feel like a grammar Nazi if I pointed out a couple errors though
     
         

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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    I liked it so much I forgot to comment it...

    It was very nice, your word choice was amazing!

    I'd feel like a grammar Nazi if I pointed out a couple errors though
    Please BE a grammar Nazi! I won't mind, on the contrary. I wanna learn from my mistakes.
     
         

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    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post

    I bolded them all.

    I'll put the right way to use them below, in order of course. :D

    *Did he follow

    *Does he know

    *Thought

    *She didn't worry anyone

    *Couldn't get to sleep

    *But as time passed by (Not exactly an error, but better for the flow of your ideas)

    *Could teach him more

    *While she kept shaking him

    *Time to time

    *Much time

    *Shake


    Mainly, you just have problems with your past, present, and future tenses. If you want be to go more in-depth I will.

    Amazing story.
    Oh, thank you!
    Damn, these error I wouldn't normally do... but probably given the hour I've written them, it kinda slipped away.
    But thanks very much and I don't mind the correction, really!
    Do it whenever you feel and see like I need some correction like that, really.

    Thanks once again!
     
         

  14. #14
    Winter Soldier ~Sky~'s Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chatte View Post
    Please BE a grammar Nazi! I won't mind, on the contrary. I wanna learn from my mistakes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chatte View Post
    Ok, so here's the second chapter. IF anyone is interested, heh. By the way, I would really appreciate some CnC, I don't mind. Thank you!

    Disclaimer: All the drawings belong to their respective owners.

    CHAPTERS:

    Chapter 2: Old teachings.





    She closed the doors from the morgue, put the keys in her pockets and headed towards the exit. Tomorrow would've been a complicated day. A lot of things had happened this night and it was prior to take care of everything. As she closed the door from the hospital's entrance, when her head raised as she had her look on the ground all the time, a figure appeared in front of her.
    - Sai! she exclaimed surprised. What could he be doing at this late hour in night? Did he followed her, does he knows something? These were just some of the worries she had at the moment. She watched him straight in the eyes as some wind blew some stripes of her cherry blossom hair.
    - Late in the night, doing your job as always, Sakura-san! he replied with his fake-type smile. He was doing it from the bottom of his heart though, still, human feelings were a nebula to him. But he was working on it.
    Sakura smiled relieved. He doesn't know anything. Phew! she though to herself. Not that it would be something she'd keep a secret, but for the moment it was better if she didn't worried anyone without having an accurate info. Plus, everything was taken care of granted Katsuyu's presence in every corner of Konoha. Tomorrow would be another day, in which she would have to take care of everything; reporting to Tsunade and from there on decide what was best to do.
    - Oh, yes, I just had to sort of some things around here, she responded smiling as she tried to look less suspicious. And she was managing to do it well. After all, she was able to trick him various times. When you get to know feelings that well, in the end you manage to rule over them, to show them or hide them, depending of the situation. Although she was always that little girl that couldn't control her feelings at all, even if that was a prior rule for a ninja, given the last events she'd been through, as her heart closed, she got better and better at hiding emotions, showing none... or showing fake ones. She was on the right way to finally become a fine shinobi.
    -But what about yourself, what are you doing at this late hour at night? Sakura asked curious as she wanted to know more regarding the fact that if indeed he didn't noticed what had happened moments ago or he was bluffing.
    - Oh, me? Nothing... I couldn't get asleep and decided to take a walk. Since my sleeping habits got a little bad lately, I decided to do something constructive with this time so I decided to take a walk and look for some Konoha landscapes. I wanna draw some and finally put a title! he answered her smiling in the same silly way.
    - Oh, that's so nice! Sakura replied. I see you really learned more about feelings and emotions lately! she exclaimed in a bit of excitement. Though at first, when Sai joined Team 7, Sakura had her problems with him as he was more of a machine rather than a human, as time passed by, Sai changed and Sakura really enjoyed that. In the end she accepted him as a part of their team and started helping him in her own way with getting to know the outside world. Even though at times she might have been a little bit off the balance, who else could learn him more about emotions, feelings, about being a human being more than her? She was perfect embodiment of being a perfect person with flaws. Because that's what defines us in the end, being perfect with flaws. That's what a human being is about.
    - Yes, I did! Sai answered, excitement being noticeable on his entire face. But few seconds afterwards Sai got very serious. But what about you, Sakura-san? How are you doing lately? Still haven't done what you said you'll be doing?
    Sakura tried to avoid these questions with a false smile but Sai saw through it in an instance.
    - Don't! Don't even try to lie to me with that fake smile. I may not be able to read you in most of the times, but there is this particular situation where you can't hide it. Not even from me. I admit that I might not be able to understand yet all the emotions of a human being but I've been really working on that and you, when it comes to him... you're an open book, Sakura-san! Sai added on the same serious tone. You haven't told him, have you?
    In that moment, Sakura's whole face got saddened. She put her look on the ground, sighed and put her palm on her forehead.
    - You know I cannot do that, don't you? she responded on a low voice. I... I don't want to do the wrong... she added while immediately being cut by Sai.
    - You are doing the wrong thing now! By keeping this inside. By not letting it go... by keeping a silly promise to yourself that it was done for nothing! I told you, I might not know you hundred percent but I know what's inside there when it comes to him! This is where you cannot lie to me! Sai added on a bold voice. In the next moment Sakura grabbed violently his shirt collar and pulled him.
    - What do you know? What do you know about anything! You pretend you know me but you don't know a bit! Not even a single bit about me. Stop pretending like you do! You'll never understand it because you never felt it! She screamed at him while kept shaking him. Sai was barely keeping his ground. She was powerful even without her techniques and everytime she got nervous, she just couldn't control herself and maneuvered people she got in touch with like toys. In the end, she wasn't called The Second Tsunade for nothing. At times she was even more temperamental than her master. No wonder people said she'd surpass her one day. Not only in techniques, but seemed like in personality as well.
    - Sa... Sakura-chan! Sai tried to reply through the shakes Sakura gave him.
    - Shut up! she yelled. Don't ever, ever try to preach me about things like these. Don't ever forget who helped you understand the world around you better. So next time, keep your advises for yourself! Sakura added while aggressively pushed him into the wall. Sai landed on his back from the push as Sakura left the place.
    - Don't even dare to follow me! her voice was heard from meters away.
    - I won't even try to, Sai said to himself while he raised from the ground. He shook the dust from his clothes as he watched her leaving.
    "Why, Sakura? Why would you put yourself in such misery that is not even necessary. If you won't do things sooner rather than later you might lose at your own game. Though I wonder, what game are you planning? What's in your head? Strange how although we spent so much times together and if, from times to times, you're ready to read as an open book, at times, it's like I hit myself on a big wall. And you're just a cover book that won't open at any costs. What are you planning, what are you thinking?" Sai though to himself.
    Well, the night was kinda over for him, after this encounter with Sakura he decided to go home. He would try to sleep to recover himself after the shook he took from Sakura.
    "What a temper!" he said, smiling as he started to walk away from the place heading to his house.
    As Sakura got away from the place, she headed for her house. She put her hand in her pockets and walked away looking at the starry sky. She started thinking at what Sai said to her. Was he right? Was he wrong? Was Sasuke right? Or everybody else who could notice what was going on with her, but still decided to keep it secret in respect to her decision. "Sasuke, what would you have done in this situation?" she asked herself. "Hmpf! Silly as always... you gave me an advice though I keep asking myself what you would have done. On well, guess I am silly as always."
    While thinking at that, her whole face got saddened. She missed Sasuke in a way, he had his special place in her heart, the very first guy she was thrilled for. Even if it was a young girl crush, as she grew-up, she started caring about him in another way, not that little silly girl way. In the end she wanted them all to be happy but, unfortunately, at the very end it was impossible and this regret emotion had a special place in the corner of her soul.

    "I wonder how you would've been if all that burden wasn't placed on your shoulders. Probably you would've been the guy all Konoha girls would've been sighed for, and I'd still be that little annoying Sakura..." she added to herself while a small piece of smile bloomed on her figure.
    As she was thinking at "What If" situations while walking down the road to her place, in less than 15 minutes, Sakura got home. She opened the door, took out the boots, the coat and put it in the hanger which was positioned on the back of the door and walked barefoot right to her room. Then she changed her clothes, took some pajamas and got in her bed.


    As she leaned, she pulled her dark brown blanket on her, stood there watching the ceiling for some moments and afterwards, closed her eyes.
    "It's better this way, Sasuke..." she tried to convince herself as she tried to get into the dreams world.
    Now, that he wasn't here anymore, to her, Sasuke became some sort of confessor. It was that someone that she could tell her deepest secrets to without having to worry about being exposed. Soon after, she fell asleep. The world of dreams kidnapped her for the time being. She once more sighed afterwards just look totally at peace. She needed that peace. Her soul was tormented enough and tomorrow would be a very busy day. New responsibilities weighted on her shoulders.


    I bolded them all.

    I'll put the right way to use them below, in order of course. :D

    *Did he follow

    *Does he know

    *Thought

    *She didn't worry anyone

    *Couldn't get to sleep

    *But as time passed by (Not exactly an error, but better for the flow of your ideas)

    *Could teach him more

    *While she kept shaking him

    *Time to time

    *Much time

    *Shake


    Mainly, you just have problems with your past, present, and future tenses. If you want me to go more in-depth I will.

    Amazing story.
     
         
    Last edited by ~Sky~; 10-08-2012 at 08:17 PM.

  15. #15
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Chatte View Post
    Oh, thank you!
    Damn, these error I wouldn't normally do... but probably given the hour I've written them, it kinda slipped away.
    But thanks very much and I don't mind the correction, really!
    Do it whenever you feel and see like I need some correction like that, really.

    Thanks once again!
    I know, you're very intelligent, so I knew that you must've been tired or something.

    You're welcome Chatte, and I'll keep my eyes open.
     
         

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    Kaika Saisei 開花再生 Chatte's Avatar
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    Re: Talking to the Moon [Chapter 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    I know, you're very intelligent, so I knew that you must've been tired or something.

    You're welcome Chatte, and I'll keep my eyes open.
    Yay! Great! :D
    I know I had those slightly problems with tenses and my teacher in Uni always corrected me but that's given my bad habits and God, I'm trying to get rid of them!
    so once again, whenever you see errors from my side, don't hesitate to point them out, I don't mind.
     
         

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