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  1. #1
    Premium User Skylar Knight's Avatar
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    The Milits

    The Milits

    .................................................. .................................................. .................................................Chapter 2 ------>

    Introduction: The world Rishi is a place where countries are controlled by The Military Force, the biggest and strongest military organization. Most people are happy with this kind of ruling, but there are still a lot of people who dislike it, and want to take it down. Those who are against the law or want to take it down are called cowboys.


    (This is River Island, only a small part of the world Rishi.)

    A small amount of people have been born with different mysterious powers. These people are born all around the world in small numbers, and are called Milits.

    The series follows an 18 year old boy who is on his way to the town Tiore after leaving his hometown Aura Village ... What adventures awaits for this young boy?




    Chapter 1 "Skylar Knight"

    There is no wind today, and the heat is the same as always. The only sound is the footsteps of a hungry boy and his stomach.

    Boy: Damn … I haven’t eaten in days. Where is that damn town?

    The boy mumbles to himself while walking up the small hill. He has short brown hair, and green eyes. He looks in his bag, and remembers it’s empty.

    Boy: Stupid town … Stupid bag … stupid hill …

    The sun hits his eyes when he walks over the hill, and a smile starts showing on his face. He looks down at the town Tiore.

    Boy: The stupid town!

    The boy smiles and runs down to the village which is known for its trading.
    The town is full of life. Traders and shop owners trying to sell items and food, Woodcutters carrying wood, and drunk people stumbling down the street.

    The boy immediately runs in the town’s one and only bar to get something to eat. The barkeeper sees the sweaty boy running in and asks him what he wants.

    Boy: A plate with beans please!

    Barkeeper: Yeah, just a minute boy…

    The boy takes a seat, and waits for his food. The barkeeper comes back with a dirty plate of cold beans after a minute, but the boy doesn’t care. Just as he is about to eat, a gang of fat cowboys walks over.

    Fat Cowboy: Hey kid … I haven’t seen you in town before … are you new or something?

    The boy ignores him, and starts eating his cold beans. The cowboys throws his plate on the floor.

    Fat Cowboy: You hear kid?! Who are you? Just as you know, we are members of the strongest cowboy group in this town …

    The boy stares down at his broken plate and spilled beans, and then up at the fat cowboys.

    - The scene switch to outside of the bar-

    Breaking sounds come from inside the bar, and the fat cowboys flies violently through the window and door.

    - The scene switch back to the inside of the bar-

    The boy slaps off dust from his hands.

    Boy: Jeez, I just wanted to eat my beans.

    All the people in the bar are in shock. They just witnessed the boy throw out members of the strongest cowboy group in the town. Whispering is heard through the bar.

    Barkeeper: W-who the hell are you?

    The boy looks a little confused, and stares at the barkeeper.

    Boy: ……. My name is Skylar Knight … I’m the cowboy who will take down The Military Force!


    Skylar sits down again and asks for more beans.

    Suddenly someone bursts out in laughter. Skylar looks around and find the person. A man looks at Skylar with a smile.

    Unknown man:
    Hahaha, take down The Military Force? You? Hahaha! Youre a funny one ...

    The man stands up and slowly walks over to Skylar. His a blonde, muscular young man with lightly tanned skin.The bar is quiet again, and the only sound is the footsteps of the unknown man.

    Unknown man: I have to admit though, you are strong.

    The man sits next to Skylar.

    Skylar: Who the hell are you?

    The man's smile grows even larger. The man finds a random mug and drinks from it.

    Unknown man: My name is Luke. I'm known as the best shooter here in Tiore... Not that I'm bragging of course...

    Luke laughs for himself, and takes a few more sips from the mug he holds.

    Skylar: Wow, thats kind of cool .. You want to join my cowboy group?

    Luke laughs again.

    Luke: Why would I want that? Cowboys are stupi-

    Luke is interrupted by the broken bar door opening. A big man walks in the bar with an angry look.

    Big man: Who is the "boy" who beat up my guys!?


    -End of the chapter-

    This is the first chapter of the series The Milits! Thank you if you read, voted or replied! I plan to make a lot more of these
     
         
    Last edited by Skylar Knight; 09-16-2012 at 02:14 AM.

  2. #2
    *Fear The Sharingan* itachifan7's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    good bio +rep
     
         

  3. #3
    Get up, Survive, Go bed. Lonely Uchiha's Avatar
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    I lucid dream everynight,
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    world.. my very own world.
     

    Re: The Milits

    very nice indeed. i love how youve presented it all too! keep up the good work! i look forward to seeing more chapters. +rep and a :ice: for you mate.
     
         

  4. #4
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    Re: The Milits

    Quote Originally Posted by itachifan7 View Post
    good bio +rep
    its not a bio lol
     
         

  5. #5
    Premium User Skylar Knight's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Quote Originally Posted by Lonely Uchiha View Post
    very nice indeed. i love how youve presented it all too! keep up the good work! i look forward to seeing more chapters. +rep and a :ice: for you mate.
    Thanks! :D Means a lot
     
         

  6. #6
    Beautifully Broken 0neCrazyAngel's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    skylar! This is great! U did a smashing j0b! Cant wait f0r chapter 2 to c0me out! Cheers :ice:
     
         

  7. #7
    Premium User Skylar Knight's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldAngel View Post
    skylar! This is great! U did a smashing j0b! Cant wait f0r chapter 2 to c0me out! Cheers :ice:
    Thanks Mia! :D Chapter 2 will be out today or tomorrow
     
         

  8. #8
    Memoirs of a Jinchuriki FF Kawaii Muffin's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Nice job Skylar! I enjoyed it lols... Can't wait to see more :D
     
         

  9. #9
    thє whσvíαn huntєr ikikouchiha9668's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    This reminds me of One Piece. but I love it! I love it baby more chapters please! :D
     
         

  10. #10
    Tsūki's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Hey man, this chapter was very good ^^ I really enjoyed reading it
    I wish to read more from you and next time I would suggest that you ask someone to read it for you before posting it.. if you want to (so it can be even more awesome )
     
         

  11. #11
    - I N A C T I V E - Thoth's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    I like it so much. Can't wait to read Chapter 2 :D
     
         

  12. #12
    Senior Member basegirl's Avatar
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    then that justice breeds yet
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    Re: The Milits

    i'm impressed!!!
    i really love what you did here.....the story line seems awesome...the way you wrote it is brilliant! i can clearly see the pictures in my head....and that is sometimes a really hard thing to achieve....you did a great job with this!
    keep up the great work
     
         

  13. #13
    Senior Member Nimmy's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Hey this is pretty awesome! ^_^ I like this fanfic D
     
         

  14. #14
    The Devil's Advocate Shinobi Train's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Quote Originally Posted by ikikouchiha9668 View Post
    This reminds me of One Piece. but I love it! I love it baby more chapters please! :D
    "Boy: ……. My name is Skylar Knight … I’m the cowboy who will take down The Military Force!"

    That is so Luffy through and through, and he's all worried about food too.

    There is some grammar stuff, and some repeated words. I would also recommend putting quotation marks around what people are saying. Also, try to avoid using yellow on white. ^_^ I also don't think you'll need color for people's names, that could get out of hand and be confusing if there's lots of characters, best to just go with black for everything. Of course, I'm more into the traditional style myself:

    "My name is Skylar Knight!" the boy shouted, grabbing everyone's attention. "I’m the cowboy who will take down The Military Force!"

    Keep it up, and I'm interested in what kinds of powers there are. ^_^
     
         

  15. #15
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    A few grammar errors, but a very interesting premise nonetheless Good Job And props for making yourself the main character
     
         

  16. #16
    Senior Member Dribbles's Avatar
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    Re: The Milits

    Pretty awesome setup, it's original and has a LOT of plot potential, i'll read the other chapters later defiantly. This really looks like it could become an anime ^_^
     
         

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