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    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5 [20]

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series, Previous Chapters [In Chronological Reading Order]:



    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 5;

    Rebirth of Evil:

    As Naruto was still charging up his sage mode with his remaining strength, Sasuke was keeping Tobi in a lock-down to buy him some time.

    Sasuke: I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Naruto!

    Tobi: Don't look away when battling me!

    Desperately looking over to Naruto to check if his sage mode was ready, Sasuke slowly began to reach his limit.

    Naruto: Just a little longer!

    Sasuke (In thought): I can't hold on much longer, I don't have enough chakra to use Eternal Mangekyo sharingan powers and neither the susanoo... I need to think about something and fast.

    Sasuke swung his lightning charged katana around as he tried to hit Tobi from the rear. Tobi quickly countered with his mechanical longsword/spear shaped arm, as countless attacks were exchanged between them. Sasuke jumped back to gain some space as he activated his mangekyo sharingan.

    Sasuke: I should be able to do one more...

    In seconds, Tobi was hit by an Amaterasu, sending him flying on his back as he began burning at rapid speed. But as it seemed like Sasuke was getting the upper hand, the flames suddenly vanished, as Tobi got up again. He raised his index finger in the air, as he swung it back and forth in a fast motion.

    Tobi: Uchiha Sasuke... When are you going to learn that sharingan tricks like that won't work on...

    Suddenly, to Tobi's surprise, his whole body froze as he found himself trapped inside a genjutsu.

    Sasuke (Inside the genjutsu towards Tobi): What did you say?

    Taking advantage of Tobi's defense being down, Sasuke quickly charged at him to give him the final blow.

    Tobi (In thought): It... can't... be?!!

    Sasuke was just about to strike him with his sword, when Tobi, all of a sudden, swung his weapon around, surprising Sasuke and causing his sword to be knocked up into the air. Tobi spun around as he caught Sasuke's sword in mid air and plunged it through the left side of his abdomen from behind him.

    Sasuke: Ugh... how?...

    Tobi: I already told you... Sharingan tricks like that won't work on me...

    He spat up blood as it dripped onto the end of his sword.

    Naruto: Sasuke?!

    Watching his friend get pierced by his own sword, Naruto was just about to cancel his meditation to help him, when Sasuke screamed to him;

    Sasuke: No Naruto... Ugh... If you cancel your meditation now, it would have been for nothing!

    Naruto: ...?!

    Sasuke: This is nothing!

    More blood dripped on his sword as he grabbed it with his left hand.

    Tobi: I admire your will to fight, but this is already over!

    Tobi was just about to push the sword even further in, when lightning charge began surrounding Sasuke.

    Sasuke: It's not over before I say so, Chidori Nagashi (Chidori current)!

    Before realizing what Sasuke was doing, Tobi got hit as a large and powerful lightning stream went through his whole body.

    Tobi: Ahhhh!!!

    Sasuke: It's you, whose end is near!

    Sasuke eye began bleeding as a field of Amaterasu began forming around him.

    Tobi: It...can't... be?!

    Tobi let go of Sasuke's sword to try and get away from him, when he noticed that Sasuke suddenly had turned around and grabbed a hold of his body with both of his hands.

    Sasuke: You're not getting away from this! Enton: Kagutsuchi (Blaze Release: Flame Control)!!

    A large shockwave surrounded the two of them as a huge explosion appeared, sending both of them flying away from each other. Sasuke crashed to the ground as his sword spun a couple of rounds in the air before hitting the ground straight beside where Tobi landed. Unable to stand on his feet, Sasuke fell to his knees.

    Naruto: Nooo!

    Sasuke: *Huff... huff*... don't worry, this is... nothing... to worry about...

    Blood was dripping from Sasuke's left side as he compressed the wound, inflicted by Tobi, with his right hand.

    Sasuke (Inner thoughts): This can't be the end... what is this... my sight, I'm... fading??

    Naruto watched while Sasuke slowly fell over on his back, as his sage mode finally turned on. In fear of how badly injured Sasuke were, Naruto rushed to his side to check on him.

    Naruto: Sasuke? Hey, don't give up on me already?!

    Naruto pulled out a scroll as he did some quick hand seals before slamming his hand into it. Tobi, fighting to get back up on his feet, watched as Naruto pulled out some green chakra from the scroll.

    Tobi (In thought): Can it be...?

    Naruto: Luckily I prepared this scroll with some medical jutsu, just in case someone would get injured without Sakura, Ino or Tsunade being around.

    Naruto pressed the chakra down towards Sasuke's wound as he screamed out in pain.

    Sasuke: Damn it Naruto, be careful with that.. ugh!

    Naruto: Stay still, I need to do this or else you'll end up dead!

    Sasuke's wound slowly began healing, but before it could heal properly, the medical jutsu ran out.

    Naruto: Damn it, it's not enough to heal your wound completely. Will you manage?

    Sasuke sitting up on his back, while compressing his wound, began mumbling something as Naruto reached closer to him to listen.

    Sasuke (whispers): Just buy me a second... or two... alright? I'll be right behind you...

    Naruto: Right, but don't you dare fade on me!

    With a smile on his face, Sasuke nodded in agreement as Naruto rose to his feet again.

    Naruto: ...

    But before Naruto managed to come up with a plan, the ground beside Tobi suddenly began moving. Tobi got back on his feet as Black/White Zetsu suddenly emerged from it.

    Black Zetsu: This isn't going according to plan, is it, Tobi?

    Tobi: What are you doing here? You're suppose to record this battle!

    White Zetsu: There is too much going on, so we had to give you this report.

    Tobi: Go on...

    Sasuke (In thoughts): How did he get inside the barrier? I thought no one would be able to get in or out of it...

    Naruto and Sasuke watched closely as Black/White Zetsu continued.

    Black Zetsu: Kabuto has released the Edo Tensei...

    Tobi: What?! That bastard, then he's definitely up to something!

    White Zetsu: Not only that, but the Zetsu army is on verge of defeat now that the allied shinobi reinforcements has arrived. It will only be a matter of time before they'll get completely annihilated, and then, the shinobi army will reach this barrier.

    Black Zetsu: We tracked him going up the furthest north in the country, together with Ryu, Nobunaga and Akashi. But before he could reach his destination, they were interrupted by Kakashi and Gai.

    Naruto: ?!

    White Zetsu: Akashi stayed behind as Kabuto, Ryu and Nobunaga continued on their path.

    Tobi: It can't be? Are they planning on heading towards Tobi and Masashi's hideout?!

    Naruto: Tobi? Is there another one named Tobi?!...

    Tobi: ...

    Naruto: Or... maybe your real name isn't Tobi after all?!

    Tobi: ...

    Naruto: Now that we've seen your face, you might as well come clean, chicken!

    Pointing his hand towards Tobi, openly mocking him, Tobi surprised them all as he retorted;

    Tobi: Why do you want to know so bad?! You've been going on about it every time we've met...

    Naruto: I need a name to go by... when I'm going to tell everyone how I whooped your ass!

    With a firm, yet confident smile on his face, Naruto pressed Tobi even further.

    Tobi: Fine... If you really want to know, I'll tell you as a reward for being able to push me this far...

    White Zetsu: Are you going to reveal your identity?!

    Black Zetsu: You were never going to mention that name again...

    Tobi: Silence!

    Naruto: ...

    Tobi: Naruto, Sasuke... Remember before the battle begun, I told you the story about The Sage of Six Paths, his two sons, daughter and their legacy?...

    Naruto: Yeah...

    Tobi: Then you should have figured out by now who I really am...

    Naruto: What do you mean?!

    Tobi: Isn't it obvious?! I am... the elder son of the sage of six paths, Uzumaki Madara himself!!

    Sasuke: What?!

    Naruto: ...

    Tobi: And when I'll rip that damn fox out of you, I will finally claim what's rightfully mine... The legacy of my father... My heritage, that my brother stole from me, so long ago!

    *Flashback begins*

    Uzumaki Sasuke: You can't do this! You can't go against father's will! He bestowed his heritage on me, but we're both his sons... I beg you brother, join me, don't fight against me!

    Uzumaki Madara: Foolish little brother... You always were father's favorite. Love is not the key to peace, power is!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: Don't do this, I beg you!

    Uzumaki Madara: You will beg alright... for your life, if you don't hand the founding book of jutsu over to me!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: Then you give me no choice...

    *Flashback ends*

    Tobi: I've beaten you, brother... I've outlived you and watched your legacy flourish beside me for centuries... but not anymore! My clan shall rise again and rule this world as its rightful owners! No one shall stop me like you did that time...

    *Flashback Begins*

    Uzumaki Madara: What are you waiting for?! Don't you dare turn your back on me... I can still fight!!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: ...

    Uzumaki Madara: You're a coward brother! You have always been! This is exactly why father should have chosen me as his successor, you lack the will to finish what you've started!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: You're defeated brother, you can't even stand!

    Uzumaki Madara: Then finish me off already! Why won't you at least give me that!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: I won't kill you...

    Uzumaki Madara: ?!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: Even if you're a threat to this world, you're still my brother.

    Uzumaki Madara: !!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: No matter how much I'll try to change that, you will always be my brother... and I will always love you...

    Uzumaki Madara: Don't you dare! Don't you dare leave like this, come back and finish this battle! I will return, more powerful than ever, and I won't be as merciful as you are!

    Uzumaki Sasuke: It doesn't matter... There will always be someone there to oppose evil, whether it's me, our father or our legacy... You've lost brother. Not only this fight, but your path as well...

    *Flashback ends*

    Tobi: Just watch, as I will finally become what our father never did! A god to rule men! As he should have become once he sealed the Jubi inside himself... Brother... You made one mistake in your whole life, and in the end... it turned out to be the biggest you could ever have made. The day you left me to die was the day you sealed mankind's fate!

    In a more evil and twisted way than ever, Tobi reached out for the skies as the sky opened and rain started pouring down and thunder and lighting began roaring across it.

    Tobi: Zetsu... You know what do to.

    Black Zetsu: Right...

    He said as he emerged back into the ground.

    Naruto (Inner thought): Sasuke is badly hurt... I can't let this go on for much longer, I need to do something to end this, and I need to do it now...

    Naruto closed his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath. Tobi watched him carefully some yards away.

    Naruto (To Kurama): There is no other choice, I have to use that jutsu... to take the beasts away from Tobi while he's out of chakra.

    Kurama: You can't, you don't know if it will work and if the seal will be strong enough, and in worst case scenario, you will end up like your father! And even if it works, you have no idea what will happen... even I don't!

    Naruto: I don't have any other choice. This has to end now!

    Tobi (Inner Thoughts): What is he up to now...

    Naruto, still in sage mode, began preforming some hand-seals as he slammed his right hand into his stomach, turning it around clockwise.

    Tobi: What are you doing?!

    Naruto: *Pant... Pant*

    Naruto twisted his hand around as he then let go of his stomach.

    Tobi (In thought): Is he going to open the seal?... What for?!

    Naruto: Almost there... *Pant*

    [...]

    A: We're almost there, just some Zetsus left to deal with!

    Mei: Press the charge!

    Gaara: If we can just get rid off these remaining Zetsus, we can help them out!

    The Zetsu army was nearly obliterated as Naruto, Sasuke and Tobi slowly came into viewing in the far distance.

    Onoki: We're here, I can see Naruto and Sasuke within that barrier up ahead!

    Mifune: Samurai troops, give it all you got!

    From behind them, even more forces arrived as Tsunade, Mifune and the rest of the army came charging in. The Zetsu army was outnumbered 1000 to 1 as they were completely annihilated in matter of minutes.

    Tsunade: That's it, just a few left!... *pant, pant*

    Shikamaru: What... that barrier is huge?! You could probably fit Konoha inside that!!

    As the last couple of Zetsus tumbled over, Tobi watched carefully as the joint shinobi army began to surround the barrier from all sides.

    Tobi (In thoughts): This barrier better be as sound-proof as Kabuto said... Whatever Naruto is planning, I need to beat him to it and end this battle. If I can obtain the Jubi, none of this will matter!

    Sasuke, still struggling to keep himself together, watched as the reinforcement came from all directions, but he knew, deep down inside, that they wouldn't be able to break down the barrier too easily.

    Sasuke (In thoughts): Damn, if only the key that Kabuto gave me earlier could be used for more than one entry...

    Sakura: Naruto, Sasuke!

    Sakura slammed her arms on the Barrier repeatedly, trying to reach out for them, as Sasuke force himself up and went over to her. The allied forces had surrounded the whole barrier as Raikage A, Mei, Onoki, Gaara, Mifune and countless others watched from the east side of it.

    Sasuke: This is bad, I don't know how much longer we can hold on!

    Konohamaru: Isn't there any way we can break this barrier down?!

    Hinata: There has to be... *Pant* We need to get inside so that we can help out... Naruto and Sasuke-kun!

    Jiraiya: Calm down mom, you can't push yourself like this or you will collapse!

    Tsunade: He's right Hinata, you need to take it easy...

    Hinata: But... But... there is no time to waste, *Huff, Pant* what can we do to get through this barrier?

    Tsunade: This barrier can, in theory, only be broken down by defeating the user of it, or if the user decided to put it down himself.

    Yamato: Then we must find another way... We have no idea where Kabuto went off to and only Kakashi and Gai knows in what direction. If we only could find a way to contact them...

    Sasuke reached his hand out and touched the barrier as Sakura met his hand from the other side of it. From behind them, A suddenly came rushing in as he discovered something he had feared for a long time.

    A: Killerbee?!!

    Spotting Killerbee lying, lifelessly on the ground, A looked over at Sasuke to check with him.

    A: Sasuke! Is he?!...

    Looking over at him in despair, Sasuke shook his head slowly back and forth, confirming the sad, but harsh truth. A fell on his knees as tears began flowing down his cheeks.

    A: It can't be... It just can't?!

    From behind him, you could see that Darui, Omoi and Karui also began crying as even more shinobies pressed forward to see what was going on. One of them were Kurotsuchi, and as she spotted Sasuke, she quickly ran towards the barrier to meet with him.

    Kurotsuchi: Sasuke?! Are you alright?!

    Touching the barrier with her hands, trying to reach out for him, Sasuke went over to her.

    Sasuke: I'm fine, I'm just... ugh!

    Still in pain from the wound inflicted by Tobi, Sasuke compressed it as blood continued to drip on the ground.

    Kurotsuchi: Oh my god, Sasuke, you're injured?!

    In the midst of the reunion, Onoki suddenly stepped forwards as he drew the rest's attention towards Naruto and Tobi.

    Onoki: The battle isn't over yet, Tobi is still standing!

    Looking over at them, the rest quickly realized Naruto was still fighting Tobi.

    Tobi: Looks like your reinforcements has arrived... However, too bad they won't be any help as long as this barrier is still standing!

    Naruto: I know...*Pant, pant* That's why I'm going to bring you down and find a way to get out of here asap!

    Tobi: Don't get too cocky, it will be your end...

    Naruto, having finished his preparations, charged at Tobi as the rest watched carefully from outside the barrier. Dark, purple shock-waves began forming around Tobi's hand as he leaped off to face Naruto.

    Naruto: This is it!

    Tobi: !!

    Naruto clutched the open seal with his hand as a wave of energy like entity emerged from it. He then stretched out his hand towards Tobi, as if dragging the energy out of himself, aiming to hit him.

    Tobi: ?!

    Naruto: I...will...make...it!

    They were just about to clash when Tobi reached out his hand as well. The two of them crashed into each other with a mighty force as both of their hands slammed into the others' stomach.

    Naruto: Ugh!

    Tobi: agh...

    The two of them quickly proceeded to drag their hand back as if they were trying to pull something out of each other.

    Naruto (In thought): Shit! I didn't think of the possibility of Tobi using the Naraka path?! He's trying to steal the Kyubi while the seal's open?! But I won't let him, I'll be the one to rip out his beasts!

    Tobi: Ugh... *pant, pant* You thought you would just rip the beasts out of me like that?! Well I'll be the one to take yours!

    Naruto: Ugh.. *Pant, pant* Never!

    As they were locked in a dragging match, the soul of the beasts were going back and forth between them as they both tried with their remaining powers to overpower the other.

    Tobi (In thoughts): So close! I won't let you win this time!

    Naruto (In thoughts): I have to make it, I just have to. I can't let everyone down!

    Sasuke: Naruto?!

    Realizing what was going on, and as the only one who could do something about the matter, Sasuke tried to get over to Naruto and Tobi. But as he was just about to leap off from the ground, his wound caught up to him as he quickly fell to one of his knees, compressing the wound with his right hand.

    Sasuke: Ugh!

    Tsunade: You're in no condition to fight now!

    Screaming from the outside of the barrier, Sasuke understood Tsunade's concern as he was struggling to get back up on his feet again.

    Sasuke (In thought): Damn it! Damn it all! This stupid wound is getting the better of me... I can't let it stop me, I have to make it!

    Sasuke was panting heavily as he was trying to muster up some strength to help out Naruto. It was then, that he realized that his wound, which was previously healed by Naruto, had opened up again and he was bleeding badly.

    Sasuke: *Pant, pant* This can't be it...

    Tsunade: Don't move around, you will only make it worse!

    Sasuke had to support himself with his other hand, to avoid passing out as he was keeping himself up with his right knee to the ground, while the other one was angled up from it. He turned his head slightly to the left as he retorted back at Tsunade.

    Sasuke: Don't you see?! I need to help out Naruto! I'm the only... one... *pant*... who can help him now... I have to... I have to... It's the only way I can redeem my past mistakes!

    The rest stood in shock as they witnessed Sasuke's content of helping Naruto as they watched him struggling to keep himself together.

    Naruto: Ugh!!

    Sasuke: Naruto!!

    As Sasuke was still struggling to keep himself together, he noticed that Naruto was blasted back as large portion of chakra left his body.

    Tobi: Finally!!

    Naruto: It can't be... I... failed?? Ug-h!

    Before Naruto could realize what just happened, he spat up tons of blood as he clutched his stomach.

    Sasuke: No!

    Forcing himself up, Sasuke ran over to him as Naruto fell to the ground. The rest trembled in shock and fear as they saw Tobi summoning the Gedo Mazo.

    Tobi: This is it!! This time, I will succeed summoning the Jubi, and no one... not even the two of you, will stop me! Now that I have all the beasts, the ritual won't fail like it did during the 4th great ninja war. You've failed Naruto! You've let everyone down, just like your father and mother before you!

    Tobi jumped up in the air and landed on top of the Gedo Mazo as a large force of chakra emerged from him and was sucked up by the statue. The ground suddenly began shacking heavily as the Gedo Mazo started to come alive.

    Naruto: *Pant, pant* My father... and mother... never failed! *Pant* They protected the village and sealed the fox within me!

    Tobi: And now... They have to watch from above how their son foolishly failed! Mohahaha... Ahahahahaha!

    Tobi began performing some hand seal as the whole, transforming Gedo Mazo was absorbed into him.

    Tobi: This is it... yes, I can feel its power!

    Tsunade: It's too late... we were too late...

    Onoki: It can't be... it just can't!

    The allied forces trembled in fear as they realized that Tobi had finally achieved his goal, and there was nothing they could do to stop him, beside relying on Naruto and Sasuke.

    Tobi: And now, the world will be mine...

    Tobi began to preform some hand seals as Naruto struggled to get on his feet.

    Sasuke: Naruto... You...

    Naruto: I... can still fight!

    He then preformed some hand seal as he quickly slammed his hand to his stomach.

    Naruto: Ahhhh!!!

    Screaming out in pain, Naruto continued to close the seal as his wound healed with it.

    Naruto: What have I done... what have I done?!

    Sasuke: We have no choice... I can't go on anymore... Naruto, take my chakra.

    Naruto: What?!

    Sasuke: It's better if we have one that can fight, than two who can't.

    Before Naruto managed to come up with a reply to either agree or deny, Sasuke suddenly created some hand seals as he tapped Naruto's forehead with his finger.

    Naruto: Wait.. what are you doing?!

    Sasuke: *Pant, Pant* It's done... now go show that bastard who's boss.

    Sasuke then fell to the ground as he almost passed out in the progress.

    Naruto: Hey?! Are you going to be fine?!

    Sasuke: I'll mana...

    But as he said, Naruto quickly noticed a shockwave coming towards them at great speed as he barely managed to dodge it. As he landed on his feet again, he looked up as he saw Sasuke went flying in the air, hitting the barrier where Sakura and the rest stood, before crashing to the ground.

    Naruto: Sasuke?!

    With new gained energy, Naruto ran over to check on him, but as he was closing in, he noticed Tobi charging in from the rear as he drew a kunai and shaped it with wind element to block.

    Tobi: Die!

    With a mighty force, Tobi broke right through Naruto's defense and sent him flying to the other side. He slowly began walking towards him, as Naruto quickly got back up on his feet.

    Tobi: This power... it's incredible! I can feel the Jubi inside me! Tremble, tremble in fear, Uzumaki Naruto!

    Naruto stretched out his hand as he quickly formed a rasengan in it. He then leaped right towards Tobi, but to his surprise, Tobi didn't bother defending as Naruto hit him dead on.

    Tobi: Attacks like that is not going to work on me anymore!

    Shocked to see that the attack had no effect, Naruto didn't manage to react as Tobi grabbed him by the neck with his right hand and lifted him up in the air.

    Sasuke: Na..ruto!!

    Struggling like never before, Sasuke was trying to get back up on his feet from the previous blast.

    Sasuke: I can still... I can...

    But before he managed to do something, he fell to the ground as his sight began fading.

    Sasuke (In thought): I can't be passing out now... not now...

    Shikamaru: This is bad, we got to do something!

    Tsunade: But what?! There is nothing we can do to get through this barrier!

    In shock and in fear of what was happening before them, and without being able to do anything about it, the allied forces began arguing amongst themselves on what to do as the situation seemed hopeless. When suddenly, Tobi interrupted them and drew their attention.

    Tobi: Witness... Your great Hokage in my hand, and your Tsuchikage and Raikage on the ground before you... Weak, helpless and not able to do anything!

    Tobi lifted Naruto further up in the air, as Naruto tried to break free from his grasp.

    Tobi: This is the day you all will remember as the last day of free will! From this day forward, there will only be one ruler of this world, me!

    Naruto: I... won't let you!

    Tobi: Begone!

    Tobi then spun around as he sent Naruto crashing towards the ground. Despite this, Naruto still forced himself up to battle. From outside the barrier, Tsunade then screamed to him;

    Tsunade: Naruto, it's pointless! You need another strategy!

    Naruto: What do you propose, I'm open for any ideas here!

    Tobi launched another attack on Naruto as he moved at him with intense speed. Naruto readied himself to guard as Tobi got closer and closer, when he suddenly and out of the blue, fell to his knees right before Naruto, clutching his stomach.

    Naruto: Huh?!

    Tobi: It can't be... I am your master, and you will obey me!

    Tobi (From within, in a dark sinister voice): You are not worthy wielding my powers. No one, has wielded my powers since the sage of six paths. I can sense your evil intent, but you will not use me as a simple tool for destruction... You're not needed for that!

    Tobi: Wait... ugh... then use my body as a host for your powers!

    Tobi (From within, in a dark sinister voice): You are not of the same strength as... your father... Interesting... But you will not keep me as your tool!

    Tobi, still clutching his stomach in great pain, then raised his arms up in the air and screamed out in a high voice, as a large force of chakra emerged from him. Behind him, a shape of a odd looking creature began forming as Naruto instantly knew what was going on.

    Naruto: It's... It's breaking free from him?!

    Tsunade: What?!

    Naruto: His seal... Tobi is not able to keep the Jubi under control, it's going to break free from his control!

    The rest watched with confused and scared eyes as the last bit of chakra emerged from Tobi. He then gravitated up in the air as he was blasted away with a mighty force, sending him crashing towards the ground.

    Tobi: Ugh! No, it can't be, not like this, I'm...!

    A large crater appeared below him as several stones fell over him and buried him alive into the ground.

    Naruto: ?!!

    Before anyone else beside Naruto had realized what just happened, a large, powerful creature with an intense chakra, like he had never seen or felt before, screamed out a mighty roar towards him...

    Naruto: *Pant, Pant* Now what?!

    Before him... stood the Jubi!

    ~ End of Chapter 5


    Next time, the fight reaches its climax!

    Fun fact: Chapter 4 and 5 was originally one chapter, but as a last minute decision, I decided to divide them in half due to their length.
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 08-16-2012 at 05:18 PM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    No need to PM me, I'm reading it now

    Edit: Really good, best chapter yet
     
         
    Last edited by gordo1; 08-16-2012 at 05:40 PM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Nice
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Quote Originally Posted by gordo1 View Post
    No need to PM me, I'm reading it now
    Damn you're quick Just answered your VM with a link, lol. Tell me what you thought afterwards

    Quote Originally Posted by Light... View Post
    Nice
    No way you could have read through it already? o__O
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Holy shi...
    Awesome!! wease: (As always x))
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Epic chapter!!!!!!
    But I must say tobi going down like dat was plot no jutsu!!!
    Loved it
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Roby View Post
    Holy shi...
    Awesome!! wease: (As always x))
    Thanks ^^... Always? o__O You're an old reader of mine? O__O

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Epic chapter!!!!!!
    But I must say tobi going down like dat was plot no jutsu!!!
    Loved it
    Haha, no it's not Just wait to read what happens in the climax of the battle in the next chapter, lol.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    :hey: The fan-fic is kind of lengthy and i tend to get lazy when reading long paragraphs anyways Great-work!
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Hey bdw how did you get the 5 stars for this chapter already......i mean look at the thread in the ff section...
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Quote Originally Posted by gordo1 View Post
    Edit: Really good, best chapter yet
    I highly doubt it's the best in my whole series with my 25 chapters +, but that's a huge compliment, and I must say thank you for it

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuka View Post
    :hey: The fan-fic is kind of lengthy and i tend to get lazy when reading long paragraphs anyways Great-work!
    Yeah, just the way I like it:zonder: And thanks ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Hey bdw how did you get the 5 stars for this chapter already......i mean look at the thread in the ff section...
    Somebody rated it I guess
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    A... no.
    The... no.
    Well... no.
    (When my speech returns I will make a comment :D)
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Goddamit! I wasn't expecting something like this, I mean I thought there was going to be something like Naruto saves everyone and he beats Tobi. But when I reached the part when Tobi reached his goal my face was "LOLWHAT?" Good thing that he couldn't control the Jubi.

    Very nice chapter indeed.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Quote Originally Posted by danivass View Post
    A... no.
    The... no.
    Well... no.
    (When my speech returns I will make a comment :D)
    Haha! I was hoping to get this expression from someone after reading this chapter

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilda View Post
    Goddamit! I wasn't expecting something like this, I mean I thought there was going to be something like Naruto saves everyone and he beats Tobi. But when I reached the part when Tobi reached his goal my face was "LOLWHAT?" Good thing that he couldn't control the Jubi.

    Very nice chapter indeed.
    Thank you ^^ As you could see by the fun fact, this chapter and chapter 4 was actually one chapter previously, but decided to divide them in half in the last minute, so that's why chapter 4 didn't really have a cliffhanger. With this one however, I really felt like going this way with the fight, not only because that's one of my predictions (I like to put predictions and theories into my FF, but guess you already know that by now), but also because this chapter really is going toe to toe with the latest manga chapters (Naruto vs Tobi and Tobi trying to summon the Jubi and all).
    Next chapter is all action from start to finish btw
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    I must say, it's a great continuation from C4 which I've just read and commented. And I think I got an idea why your battle chapters seem better right now. It's because you have pre-planned this for so long and the thirst to pen your long-thoughts ideas down gave your writing more passion and incensed flow. All points are connecting perfectly with your story and that's extremely commendable given how you have so many minor/major details included in your whole FF since it's start. I must say, it's no more a tale - it's a saga!

    And depicting your ingenious saga, well, here are some points as always:

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Taking advantage of Tobi's defense being down, Sasuke quickly charged at him to give him the final blow.
    Me while reading that part: Sasuke, you're going to get stabbed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Sasuke: Ugh... how?...
    Me in desperation: Told y'a

    Anyhow, this battle was very good; though this part was extremely cliched.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Naruto: Sasuke? Hey, don't give up on me already?!
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Naruto: Right, but don't you dare fade on me!
    Why are both these phrases so similar? I was almost expecting another one down the line with:

    Naruto: You dumbass! Dont you dare cheat on me

    , this should be a catchphrase of the Sage of Konoha: 'Don't you dare [insert verb here] on me' I can insert it in 6-7 places in this chapter itself

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Tobi: Isn't it obvious?! I am... the elder son of the sage of six paths, Uzumaki Madara himself!!
    O.o, I was taken aback a bit. Though, it isn't a complete sweep-off surprise bolt - as I did expect something on the story you narrated in c15 to come into play at a given point. But I liked how you stood firm to your initial ideas.

    I have one question though:

    In c15, you said that the legacy of the elder son, of the younger one and of the daughter all fight it out later on...So, does that mean that this Tobi here failed twice to beat his younger brother or was he not part of that battle and only his legacy/generations were?

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Sakura slammed her arms on the Barrier repeatedly...
    So, she still does useless things after all these years :lmao: Some person never change.

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Tobi: Witness... Your great Hokage in my hand, and your Tsuchikage and Raikage on the ground before you... Weak, helpless and not able to do anything!
    I agree with Flash07 above me. To think that in 15 seconds later, Tobi went from this position to under the rocks, was Plot-No-Jutsu at its best.

    Side note: Since you mentioned how C4 and C5 were separated at last moment, you could have ended this chapter here though. It could have been an intriguing end; though I like how you ended it too.

    Points I liked:

    1. The same thrill and smooth flow in the previous one continued. Though some parts were cliched and unintentionally hilarious, I'm loving how you're handling it.

    2. The moment Sasuke desperately started talking to others and how he kept trying to help Naruto, struck an emotional string in me. It was a pitch-perfect sadly-emotional depiction of the whole situation. For I - who never liked Sasuke - he grabbed my attention this time. I told this before to you but I'll say it again - I'll take your depiction of Sasuke's character over Kishi's anyday.

    3. Love how the reunion of other Shinobi with Naruto/Sasuke battlefield occured, it's very similar to how Kishi did his. Though, you again wrote yours before him (lol, you does that way too often ) and yeah, I like your way better as the battle was less dragged on as in the manga.

    4. The Juubi resurrection. I might not have listed this part if I did read it months ago but, now that I'm reading the manga, I'm loving this. Cause, it's so much better than in the manga. I often told you how Kishi will have been proud how your depiction matches his so closely but right now, I'd even go to the lengths of saying that you are doing a better job than Kishi and his damp squib story of Obito Big thumbs up for you and thumbs down for un-thrilling Kishi.

    Points I disliked:

    1. Naruto's conversation with Kurama being so short. Given how Naruto's decision to unlock the seal and try that attack was so risky, I feel that he should have did a more thoughtful analysis with Kyuubi. With a better tactical conversation plotted-out, it will have made the readers feel like, this was a do-or-die situation for Naruto and that even if he failed, there wasn't any option. Since on top of that, that attack was complete flop, it made Naruto look like an idiot...yet again and make me (as a reader) feel like he could have tried something else.

    Anyway, that's my opinion and perhaps the only modification (apart from some of the cliched dialogues ) I would have made in this well-constructed chapter of yours. Again, well-done!
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    I must say, it's a great continuation from C4 which I've just read and commented. And I think I got an idea why your battle chapters seem better right now. It's because you have pre-planned this for so long and the thirst to pen your long-thoughts ideas down gave your writing more passion and incensed flow. All points are connecting perfectly with your story and that's extremely commendable given how you have so many minor/major details included in your whole FF since it's start. I must say, it's no more a tale - it's a saga!

    And depicting your ingenious saga, well, here are some points as always:



    Me while reading that part: Sasuke, you're going to get stabbed!



    Me in desperation: Told y'a

    Anyhow, this battle was very good; though this part was extremely cliched.





    Why are both these phrases so similar? I was almost expecting another one down the line with:

    Naruto: You dumbass! Dont you dare cheat on me

    , this should be a catchphrase of the Sage of Konoha: 'Don't you dare [insert verb here] on me' I can insert it in 6-7 places in this chapter itself



    O.o, I was taken aback a bit. Though, it isn't a complete sweep-off surprise bolt - as I did expect something on the story you narrated in c15 to come into play at a given point. But I liked how you stood firm to your initial ideas.

    I have one question though:

    In c15, you said that the legacy of the elder son, of the younger one and of the daughter all fight it out later on...So, does that mean that this Tobi here failed twice to beat his younger brother or was he not part of that battle and only his legacy/generations were?



    So, she still does useless things after all these years :lmao: Some person never change.



    I agree with Flash07 above me. To think that in 15 seconds later, Tobi went from this position to under the rocks, was Plot-No-Jutsu at its best.

    Side note: Since you mentioned how C4 and C5 were separated at last moment, you could have ended this chapter here though. It could have been an intriguing end; though I like how you ended it too.

    Points I liked:

    1. The same thrill and smooth flow in the previous one continued. Though some parts were cliched and unintentionally hilarious, I'm loving how you're handling it.

    2. The moment Sasuke desperately started talking to others and how he kept trying to help Naruto, struck an emotional string in me. It was a pitch-perfect sadly-emotional depiction of the whole situation. For I - who never liked Sasuke - he grabbed my attention this time. I told this before to you but I'll say it again - I'll take your depiction of Sasuke's character over Kishi's anyday.

    3. Love how the reunion of other Shinobi with Naruto/Sasuke battlefield occured, it's very similar to how Kishi did his. Though, you again wrote yours before him (lol, you does that way too often ) and yeah, I like your way better as the battle was less dragged on as in the manga.

    4. The Juubi resurrection. I might not have listed this part if I did read it months ago but, now that I'm reading the manga, I'm loving this. Cause, it's so much better than in the manga. I often told you how Kishi will have been proud how your depiction matches his so closely but right now, I'd even go to the lengths of saying that you are doing a better job than Kishi and his damp squib story of Obito Big thumbs up for you and thumbs down for un-thrilling Kishi.

    Points I disliked:

    1. Naruto's conversation with Kurama being so short. Given how Naruto's decision to unlock the seal and try that attack was so risky, I feel that he should have did a more thoughtful analysis with Kyuubi. With a better tactical conversation plotted-out, it will have made the readers feel like, this was a do-or-die situation for Naruto and that even if he failed, there wasn't any option. Since on top of that, that attack was complete flop, it made Naruto look like an idiot...yet again and make me (as a reader) feel like he could have tried something else.

    Anyway, that's my opinion and perhaps the only modification (apart from some of the cliched dialogues ) I would have made in this well-constructed chapter of yours. Again, well-done!

    Yeah, now that you mention it, I was pretty excited when I finally was able to move on to chapter 4, 5 and 6, which finally continued the events of the original in a fully-focused form. So you might be right about that.

    Hmm... You might have a point there. These long chapters tend to perhaps reproduce similar lines across it. I'll take that into consideration for upcoming releases.

    Yeah, as I mentioned to Ivan earlier, reading that now might seem a bit odd as Tobi has been revealed in the manga. This chapter however was released right before the reveal happened, so if you read this chapter at that point, I guess you would been left with a different feeling.

    It was said that the reincarnation of the sosp and his sons would fight out in the future, which represent this fight. However, he didn't tell the entire truth back then as he actually happened to be the older brother in person. So he lost to his brother, his legacy lost to the younger brother's legacy in Hashirama and Madara, and then Naruto and Sasuke. If that answers anything? Might seem a bit vague at this point with how the manga is developing and all. Plus, I don't remember every single detail of my saga

    , that's one way to put it xD

    Yeah, but it was all planned out so

    Hmm... it would have made chapter 4 too big imo though, but yeah I guess I could have. Although it would have altered this chapter completely, as well as the next...

    2: Hehe Well I've always been up and down with Sasuke's character, but like I told Ivan on my next chapter, I based much of Sasuke's character progression on how much he likes him. So in one way it can be considered a fan service; a fan service I wouldn't have any other way. Must day I like how it all turned out

    3: Haha, you always seem to give me too much praise, especially praise that involves comparison to Kishi But thanks ^^

    4: Again, I don't know how to handle such "godly" praise xD But I always try my best ^^

    1: Well it was a mistake made in the heat of the battle for sure. All to make the readers surprised on the outcome (thinking that Naruto would be able to pull it off), but like in the manga, Naruto often fails on his first try-out of his new attacks So yeah, he might look like a fool right there xD

    Your reviews are always out of this world phenomenal. And like Ivan, you're one of the readers I value the most. My personal feeling though is that, like perhaps 13 and 14 of the original, 4 and 5 of the sequel was all a build up off what to come in chapter 6, and chapter 6 is the best thing I ever wrote.
     
         

  16. #16
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5 [20]

    nice work once again i like this one too.Yet its very short.
    There are some lines i like very much
    "Sasuke (Inside the genjutsu towards Tobi): What did you say?"
    "Uzumaki Sasuke: It doesn't matter... There will always be someone there to oppose evil, whether it's me, our father or our legacy... You've lost brother. Not only this fight, but your path as well..."
    "You've failed Naruto! You've let everyone down, just like your father and mother before you"
    "Tobi: Witness... Your great Hokage in my hand, and your Tsuchikage and Raikage on the ground before you... Weak, helpless and not able to do anything!"
    Your writing style is totally awesome bro
    The things i like in this chapter are-
    1. Sasuke's role. His attitude in this chapter is really very nice. For me he is hero of this chapter
    2. The way shinobi forces come to last place,just like kishi shows in manga
    3. Flashback of Tobi
    4. Naruto's that medical jutsu.

    Now the points i didnt like-
    1. Tobi easily got kurama
    2. Tobi easily went down by Jubi. I mean just in few seconds?? I wanted to see some more of Tobi as Jubi's host
    Overall its very nice,keep it up
     
         

  17. #17
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5 [20]

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    nice work once again i like this one too.Yet its very short.
    There are some lines i like very much
    "Sasuke (Inside the genjutsu towards Tobi): What did you say?"
    "Uzumaki Sasuke: It doesn't matter... There will always be someone there to oppose evil, whether it's me, our father or our legacy... You've lost brother. Not only this fight, but your path as well..."
    "You've failed Naruto! You've let everyone down, just like your father and mother before you"
    "Tobi: Witness... Your great Hokage in my hand, and your Tsuchikage and Raikage on the ground before you... Weak, helpless and not able to do anything!"
    Your writing style is totally awesome bro
    The things i like in this chapter are-
    1. Sasuke's role. His attitude in this chapter is really very nice. For me he is hero of this chapter
    2. The way shinobi forces come to last place,just like kishi shows in manga
    3. Flashback of Tobi
    4. Naruto's that medical jutsu.

    Now the points i didnt like-
    1. Tobi easily got kurama
    2. Tobi easily went down by Jubi. I mean just in few seconds?? I wanted to see some more of Tobi as Jubi's host
    Overall its very nice,keep it up
    I never thought I would get a comment from you on this chapter at this point (seeing as you're already up to date with the latest ones), but I really appreciate it nevertheless ^^
    Yep, it's not one of my biggest chapters, and I know that you like them very long

    Seeing Sasuke as the hero of this chapter is something I haven't thought about before, but that's an interesting take on it and I agree
    Thank you for the review man, it means a lot!
     
         

  18. #18
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 5 [20]

    one of the best wrote chapter by u !!
     
         

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