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    Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Chapter 52: The Will of Who Wants it More


    Akamaru lets out a bark and then a whimper. “Damn it this isn't good, both of them are...”

    “Byakugan!” Jiraiya activates his Byakugan and looks down at Ryoko and Hime. *This isn't good...* “Stop the fight, they need to see the medics!” Jiraiya yells. The crowd and several of the proctors turn their attention towards the Jiraiya. Naruto looks at his son. “If they don't stop now they'll only make the situation worse!”

    “Shut up!” Ryoko yells. Ryoko takes her wind blades out of Hime and leaps away. She lands on her feet but quickly drops to her left knee and she coughs up a small amount of blood into her hand. “Don't you dare stop this fight.” Ryoko says.

    “Don't be stupid, neither of you are in any condition to continue this fight.” Kiba says, beginning to walk towards them. Suddenly a powerful gust of wind shoots towards Kiba. Kiba channels his chakra into his hand creating a claw and whips his hand through the gust, dispersing it and he looks at Hime.

    “She's right, you better not stop this fight!” Hime says holding her arm across her body trying to cover both of her wounds. Blood quickly soils the white sleeves of her robe as Hime bleeds out rather quickly.

    “*tsk* Ay, Naruto say something here!” Kiba turns to Naruto and looks at the two girls. He stares down at them both the kunoichi with a rather blank spaced out expression. “Naru—”

    Naruto raises his hand quickly, “Quiet Kiba.” Naruto says with unexpressed seriousness. Kiba looks at Naruto with rather surprised, looking at a side of Naruto he rarely sees. Naruto continues to look down at the two kunoichi, neither look at Naruto, rather they look at each other still intense.

    “Naruto...what are you thinking?” Kurama asks curiously to Naruto.

    “Both of them...They both want to see this through. Hime has her main goal in mind to make it to Jiraiya but she wants to prove her merit against Ryoko as well...as for Ryoko, I'm still unclear what her main intentions are...What I do know is that both of these girls need to decide this.”

    “Their mentality...that stubborn never give up thing you had...drives me crazy still.” Kurama says. “So I take it you're going to let them continue.”

    “Yes...I'm letting this fight continue.” Naruto says this out loud and the crowd begins to mummer and the proctors look at each other with unease.

    “Father, you can't be serious?!” Jiraiya protests. “They—”

    “They're fine.” Koichi says. “They still have some juice left in them, might as well let them finish.”

    Jiraiya grabs Koichi by the collar, “You don't know what you're talking about! You don't see what I see they're—”

    “You don't see what I see, two kunoichi with the will to fight. To stop this fight would be a disgrace to them. If both of them are still willing then they have the right to decide who wins and looses.” Koichi brush off Jiraiya's hand. Naruto looks down at Koichi and smiles a little. “Besides, between you and me, if we stop this match now, they're going to raise hell and who do you think that hell is going to be directed towards? We are their teammates after all.” Koichi says with a slight laugh. Koichi leans on the railing and looks down at the two kunoichi. “The hell you two waiting for?! He said you can finish!”

    The two kunoichi smirk at each other and they dart out towards each other. The two get close and Hime lets loose a barrage of strikes towards Ryoko. Ryoko ducks and evades the attacks as they come, countering with her wind blades. Hime lets out a right palm heel strike to Ryoko's chest and Ryoko moves to the right and she swings her chakra blade. Hime uses two fingers and strikes the chakra center of the blade as it comes to her and Ryoko's chakra disperses from the kunai. Hime then comes around with her right hand again and goes to strike Ryoko's shoulder. Ryoko brings her second blade around to try and stop Hime's advance but Hime smiles and she moves her hand up partially and strikes the chakra center of the second blade and disperses Ryoko's second chakra blade. Ryoko sucks her teeth and she kicks Hime in the stomach and knocks her back. Hime rebounds from the kick but she holds her stomach as her wounds are aggravated by the kick. She takes a deep breath and quickly gets in her stance.

    “They still have...so much energy and fight left in them despite their injuries.” Kana says. She looks down with worry however and she turns to address Koji, “Do you think Naruto-sama made the right decision?” She asks.

    “Yes.” Koji says swiftly. His focus remains on Ryoko. Koji squints his eyes as he looks at Ryoko panting. *Ryoko-chan.*

    **Flashback**

    A few weeks into the One Month Training


    The night sky was illuminated by a crescent moon, however the night clouds travel, making their way to hide the light, covering it with shadows.

    Kana sleeps in one of the beds within the hotel room as Koji stands in the windowsill in black cloak. He looks back at Kana asleep and he pull the hood over his head and leaps out the window. Koji heads to the top of a water tower overlooking Konoha. The nightly wind blows in the air and Koji's robe. Koji scours the village with an intense look on his face.

    Koji suddenly shifts his eyes to his right and he spots Ryoko and Kai several meters away towards the northern gate of the village. The clouds begin to travel through and cover the moon, casting a thick shadow over the entire village and over the water tower. The clouds remain only for a moment and once they move the light returns to the village. As the light comes back over the water tower, Koji is gone.

    Ryoko and Kai stand on the outskirts of the village and the two begin to train. Koji is positioned in a bush, several meters away looking at the two.

    The night wages on, hours pass and the night becomes older. After several hours Ryoko stands across the field from her father, panting heavily. Ryoko is exhausted showing great fatigue barley able to stand up straight.

    “Stand up straight!” Kai rushes Ryoko and punches her in the face, knocking her back onto the ground. She rebounds quickly only to find her father right back on top of her, launching a left roundhouse kick. Ryoko slides under the kick quickly and flips backwards, pushing and distancing herself from her father. Kai leaps towards her again and launches a barrage of attacks towards her. Ryoko ducks and evades the attacks but doesn't retaliate. “You need to be quicker!” He says sternly appearing behind Ryoko. He shoots a kick and Ryoko blocks it but she still goes flying back from the force. “Counter!” Ryoko doesn't move, she only pants, completely drained of energy. Kai appears before Ryoko and she widens her eyes. Kai launches an undercut into Ryoko's stomach and she hobbles over, the wind knocked out of her. Kai then strikes down on the back of Ryoko's neck and she falls to the ground. “You're weak.”

    Koji grips the ground in front of him, his eyes focused and calm but deep inside him boils rage. “Father I can't keep up with you yet, I—”

    “You'll be faced with enemies much stronger then you when you enter the Anbu. You cannot afford to show this kind of weakness. You need to be prepared, you need to do whatever is necessary to complete your mission, even if it means sacrifice.” Kai says. Kai shifts his eyes and Ryoko clinches her fist. Koji's eyes widen just as Kai disappears, realizing they knew of his presence.

    Kai reappears in the bush and drops his hand down and picks Koji up but the back of the neck. Kai lifts the body out of the bushes to reveal a puppet in Koji's stead. Just then several shuriken shoot down from all directions towards Kai. Kai makes the snake seal and the shuriken are met by a powerful whirlwind from and they're blown back. Koji appears beside Ryoko and she hold him back. “Koji get out of here!” She demands.

    Koji takes his free hand and takes out one of Ryoko's swords from her sheath and brushes past her. Koji's eyes show anger towards Kai. Koji rushes Kai but Koji doesn't advance more then two steps before Kai has his hand on Koji's throat. “Are you willing to sacrifice your comrade for the sake of your mission?” Kai asks Ryoko. Kai throws Koji on the ground and makes the half tiger seal. Koji finds himself paralyzed. “You're mission now, kill him.” Kai faces Ryoko and throws her back her blade.

    Ryoko picks up her blade and walks over to Koji. The two look each other in the eyes, Koji widens his eyes to see the conflict deep within Ryoko's heart. Ryoko hesitates for a moment then she drops her sword. “No...” She doesn't turn to face her father. “Koji is my teammate....my friend. I'm not going to hurt him...and I won't let you hurt him either!” Ryoko says sternly.

    “Then you're still too weak to do what is necessary. If you're weak in both plains you're useless to me.” Ryoko doesn't respond to her father, he simply looks at her and then turns around and walks away. Koji looks into Ryoko's eyes and sees a river of tears flow down her face.

    “Ryoko...I—”

    “Don't say anything...You should have listened to what Koichi told you, stop your worrying about us, it's only proving to be more harm then good.” Ryoko wipes the tears from her eyes and looks down at Koji's regretful face. “I didn't hesitate because I was wondering whether to kill you or not, only to build up what I need to tell him off.” Ryoko says, she smiles at Koji and helps him up. “I wouldn't ever harm you or Koichi, that's a promise.”

    “I know, but you still want his approval...deep down I can feel it.” Ryoko places her sword back in the sheath and turns her back to Koji.

    “You're right...I did this for you Koji. Despite what he thinks, I may have just sacrificed what I've always been yearning for.” Ryoko turns around and looks at her teammate. “I have to win in the finals, I have to become a chuunin Koji. This means...everything to me right now.”

    **End Flashback**

    “I can see everything with my Byakugan Ryoko, you're out of juice.” Hime says. “All I have to do is wait for you to give me that opening.” Ryoko says.

    “You...don't know anything.” Ryoko shifts her eyes and she sees her father in the crowd. Hime darts towards Ryoko, and Ryoko infuses her kunai with her wind chakra and throws them towards Hime. Hime uses her vacuum palm and pushes the kunai away. The kunai are redirected towards Ryoko and they braze her on her left shoulder. Ryoko attempts to run but she gets a sharp pain in her leg and she's unable to move. “Now you're finished!” Hime strikes Ryoko in the center of her chest and Ryoko goes tumbling back coughing up blood. *Damn it I missed, that was supposed to knock her out. Regardless, one more hit will do her.* Hime begins to run towards Ryoko but she suddenly stops after a few steps, noticing makibishi on the ground *Damn it I didn't notice until just now, I'm starting to slip up too. I need to end this fast.* Hime gets into her stance and she closes her eyes *This time aim for the chakra points.* Hime lets out a vacuum palm and Ryoko throws a smoke bomb on the ground towards Hime. Hime's wind makes impact with the bomb and a large cloud of smoke is hurtled back towards Ryoko. “That won't stop my attack!” The smoke envelops Ryoko and suddenly from the smoke a log is blown out. *Damn, another substitution!* Hime widens her eyes to scour the area and just as she does Ryoko comes from behind carrying her blade. Hime turns and leaps back as Ryoko swings her blade and the blade just crazes over Hime's bangs. “You think this will change anything? You're just wasting your chakra even more.”

    Ryoko heads towards Hime and swings her sword and Hime rushes Ryoko as well. Ryoko swings and Hime grabs Ryoko's arm with her left and launches a palm into the center of Ryoko's chest again. Ryoko drops to her knees and she begins to fall over. *It's....over...* Ryoko goes up in a cloud of smoke and a meerkat is revealed in her place. Hime's eyes widen and suddenly three kunai impale Hime from behind in the back and she falls over. *What's...* Hime falls to the ground beside Ryoko's meerkat summon and then she finds herself unable to move. Hime hears foot steps walking from behind her and when the sound comes around to the side and then in front of her Hime still doesn't see anything. Hime squints her eyes as Ryoko fades into color. “Damn it...”

    “Meisaigakure no Jutsu (Hiding with Camoflauge Technique)”

    “I don't get it...how were you able to sneak past my Byakugan with that meerkat?”

    “The one blind spot in the Hyuuga's Byakugan.” Ryoko says. Hime sucks her teeth. “I did my research before I came here, there is a blind spot even your Byakugan can't see. When my meerkats sprung up you didn't notice the one that I summoned behind you. He rose right into your blind spot before you knew about him. You were focused on the other three in front of you.”

    *That log that flew out of the smoke, that was a decoy to make her think it was a substitution, when in fact she hid herself with her jutsu and her summon transformed into her and attacked. Ryoko had all the time to attack, she waited until Hime lowered her guard.* Kiba thinks to himself.

    Hime grips the ground in front of her, “Damn it...”

    Ryoko gets to a knee and holds Hime by the hair and brings her eyes so the two meet. Suddenly the ice stare from Ryoko sends a chill up Hime's spine. “I wanted it more, that's why I won.” Ryoko says intimidatingly. Hime finally sees the true intensity of Ryoko in her eyes.

    “Hime Hyuuga is unable to continue the fight, the match goes to Ryoko Taiyou.” The crowd cheers and Ryoko releases Hime. Ryoko begins to walk away but she suddenly begins to fall and her vision begins to blur.

    *I am out of chakra.* Ryoko is caught and she looks up as she tries to focus her vision. “Koichi?” She mutters.

    “Wrong twin.” Koji says carrying her off to the side. Ryoko passes out and Koji brings Ryoko into the room where the competitors entered from. He begins to heal her and a few minutes later Kana appears.

    “Koji, tell me next time you're about to disappear like that.” Kana sighs. “I got her now.” Kana says moving towards her.

    “No!” Koji snaps. Koji startles himself as well as Kana. “Sorry, I just—”

    “It's alright, I might as well go check on Hime, her injuries are pretty bad too.” Kana begins to walk out and head down the hall. “Can I leave you alone with her without you trying anything?” Kana teases.

    Koji's eyes widen and he blushes, “Shut up.” Koji says turning his head away. Kana chuckles and continues on her way.
    ~Back in the Arena~


    “Looks like Hime lost.” Kurama says. “What do you think?”

    “I think...Ryoko's motives were stronger. Even still, I couldn't be more proud of Hime even if she won.”

    “*tsk* Just like you.”

    The intermission begins the crowd begins to leave. “It looks like you're up next Mika.”

    “Yeah...” Mika looks over to the Ro in his full Anbu gear. Ro turns and looks at Mika, his expression hidden behind his mask. Mika looks, her crimson eyes staring fiercely into the blank emotionless mask, which exhibits the cold ruthless mentality....and aura within Ro.

    To Be Continued...

    Author's Note:
    I already know I'm going to catch hell, at least from a....select few people but meh, Idc :P Please tell me what you liked/disliked about this chapter, although I know what a collective of your are going to dislike already because of that fan favorite loosing but still try to tell me other things you may have liked/disliked. To those of you who read/comment/rep this post I thank you. enjoy


     
         
    Last edited by Reborn; 07-01-2012 at 06:10 PM.

  2. #2
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    First to post! :overjoy:
     
         

  3. #3
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatOneChick View Post
    First to post! :overjoy:
    But you're not going to read it any time soon are you
     
         

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    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    But you're not going to read it any time soon are you
    52 chapters Reborn! I have to catch up on them all and Lizzy is screaming at me. It was pure chance that I even caught this thread. I won't be able to catch up until you're done the whole thing. I don't honestly really don't even like to read. It's out of necessity that I do read. *sigh*
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatOneChick View Post
    52 chapters Reborn! I have to catch up on them all and Lizzy is screaming at me. It was pure chance that I even caught this thread. I won't be able to catch up until you're done the whole thing. I don't honestly really don't even like to read. It's out of necessity that I do read. *sigh*
    Very well Shishou, you don't have to read them then *bows head*
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    Very well Shishou, you don't have to read them then *bows head*
    I will Reborn, I have so many others to catch up on as well.
     
         

  7. #7
    Writing time~ Netsui's Avatar
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Took me some time to read it. I really liked it Reborn. But, I got a question about one part. If both of them are still willing then they have the right to decide who wins and looses.

    I'm not sure, but is that supposed to be loses?

    That's the only thing I caught in there, and it confused me a bit. Sorry if I'm wrong.

    +Rep for another amazing chapter. :D

    Edit: TOC, you beat me to first post!
     
         
    Last edited by Netsui; 06-29-2012 at 08:41 PM.

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatOneChick View Post
    I will Reborn, I have so many others to catch up on as well.
    I know you have a lot of other things to do, really, I was only playing Shishou, flow at your own pace, it's really not a problem ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Netsui View Post
    Took me some time to read it. I really liked it Reborn. But, I got a question about one part. If both of them are still willing then they have the right to decide who wins and looses.

    I'm not sure, but is that supposed to be loses?

    That's the only thing I caught in there, and it confused me a bit. Sorry if I'm wrong.

    +Rep for another amazing chapter. :D

    Edit: TOC, you beat me to first post!
    You're right, thank you Netsui-Hime
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Wow every single chapter you put out is amazing! Now I'm waiting for the next chapter! I'm super addicted. Great work!
     
         

  10. #10
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    I wanna die...

    Good chapter, I like how kai PWNED koji.lol and I guess ryoko really did have more on the line. Hime is still a boss for surviving those stabs, she needs more jyuken practice though.
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Hime lost so I'm not even going to read or say anything meaningful. Worst chap ever. Next! -_-
     
         

  12. #12
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by william24 View Post
    I wanna die...

    Good chapter, I like how kai PWNED koji.lol and I guess ryoko really did have more on the line. Hime is still a boss for surviving those stabs, she needs more jyuken practice though.
    0_o Shit I thought you'd be much more upset then this....I also never expected you to sympathise with Ryoko...

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Hime lost so I'm not even going to read or say anything meaningful. Worst chap ever. Next! -_-
    :P
    Quote Originally Posted by Bangbangrasengan View Post
    Wow every single chapter you put out is amazing! Now I'm waiting for the next chapter! I'm super addicted. Great work!
    Thanks ^^''
     
         

  13. #13
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    hey bro i liked that chapter, even though i wanted hime to win cuz she's naruto's kid i still respect what you did. i think you stayed true to the message of the Naruto story, which is; will and determination is greater than 'destiny' cuz as we know on paper hime is stronger than ryoko but like naruto ryoko has incredible will power. loved it.
     
         

  14. #14
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by badboyhenry View Post
    hey bro i liked that chapter, even though i wanted hime to win cuz she's naruto's kid i still respect what you did. i think you stayed true to the message of the Naruto story, which is; will and determination is greater than 'destiny' cuz as we know on paper hime is stronger than ryoko but like naruto ryoko has incredible will power. loved it.
    And she set up the playing field several minutes before and knew of the Hyuuga blind spot...I guess nobody took into account who had the better strategy

    But I get what you're saying and it's actually part of the thing, but nobody sees the corrilation between Naruto and the Kankuro's team of genin
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    very nice ^^
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Always think of posting in the top 5 atleast.....but its too difficult*sighs*
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    I've read it and wtf?!


    I hate Ryoko now -_- and I hate her idiot father more.
    I don't like this Naruto at all, the Naruto I know couldn't stand to watch his teammates losing and encouraged them in a loud, annoying yet inspiring manner. He even gave encouragement to Hinata who he didn't know very well during the Chunin Exams. This guy just shUt's up and watches.

    Also something I will never forgive you for--

    I wanted it more, that's why I won.” Ryoko says
    intimidatingly.

    Never -_-
     
         

  18. #18
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Dave View Post
    very nice ^^
    Thanks Dave ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Always think of posting in the top 5 atleast.....but its too difficult*sighs*
    keep trying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    I've read it and wtf?!


    I hate Ryoko now -_- and I hate her idiot father more.
    I don't like this Naruto at all, the Naruto I know couldn't stand to watch his teammates losing and encouraged them in a loud, annoying yet inspiring manner. He even gave encouragement to Hinata who he didn't know very well during the Chunin Exams. This guy just shUt's up and watches.

    Also something I will never forgive you for--

    I wanted it more, that's why I won.” Ryoko says
    intimidatingly.

    Never -_-
    Ryoko's dad is one of my favorite characters for reasons unrevealed yet but that doesn't matter.

    You expect Naruto to be a child forever and neglect the fact that he has responsibilities as Hokage correct? Want to know everything Naruto's got on his plate as wellas the chuunin exams?

    1) Kabuto has come back
    2) Sasuke's gone and he hasn't told Sakura
    3) His head advisor is in critical care in a comma
    4) Iwagakure knows about the dealings of Konoha and Suna and are moving suspiciously
    5) Kirigakure is up to some shifty shiz
    6) Kabuto's trying to kidnap one of the genin
    7) He has Sai and Konohamaru heading deep into Iwagakure to gather information...

    Naruto's never had such responsibilities in his life, even now. Yes he's a Jinchuuriki in a war, his comrades are dying but just like Hiruzen was finding out, it's much more difficult to keep peace than to go to war. Naruto's encouragement? How about going boarderline parental neglect and allowing his daughter to continue with three deep blade wounds in her body and allowing it to continue only for her to stabbed in the back (quite literally but I put that in there for you

    Naruto shuts up and watches because of the 7 reasons I posted up there.

    You won't forgive me for showing that Ryoko's was desprate enough to kill Hime for the acceptance of her father? Let me tell you something, Ryoko and Hime are opposites when it comes to 1 thing, having people accept her.

    If you notice in the earlier chapters, Ryoko wasn't social with anybody else until Koichi and Koji and her father is a butt rag to her...Hime is the magnificent daughter of the 6th Hokage, beautiful and strong everybody likes her...Ryoko resembles Naruto even more than his children in that category, but I see you don't pay attention to context or care much for character transformation when it comes to added features. Everybody wants Naruto to become Hokage but they don't wants Naruto to have to settle for the hardships and sacrifices of the Hokage position comes with. They want him to be carefree and be exactly like he was in the manga. smh

    I know you're probably not going to bother yourself with any of this. either that or try to rebut it but this is how it is. But I will definately say, I was expecting this from william and not from you.

    But thank you for giving your "Train" Response Nobody else gives me several points to work with. Although opposite of Train who normally balances it out with several strong points and weak points she brought up, it's still good
     
         

  19. #19
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    Thanks Dave ^^



    keep trying.



    Ryoko's dad is one of my favorite characters for reasons unrevealed yet but that doesn't matter.

    You expect Naruto to be a child forever and neglect the fact that he has responsibilities as Hokage correct? Want to know everything Naruto's got on his plate as wellas the chuunin exams?

    1) Kabuto has come back
    2) Sasuke's gone and he hasn't told Sakura
    3) His head advisor is in critical care in a comma
    4) Iwagakure knows about the dealings of Konoha and Suna and are moving suspiciously
    5) Kirigakure is up to some shifty shiz
    6) Kabuto's trying to kidnap one of the genin
    7) He has Sai and Konohamaru heading deep into Iwagakure to gather information...

    Naruto's never had such responsibilities in his life, even now. Yes he's a Jinchuuriki in a war, his comrades are dying but just like Hiruzen was finding out, it's much more difficult to keep peace than to go to war. Naruto's encouragement? How about going boarderline parental neglect and allowing his daughter to continue with three deep blade wounds in her body and allowing it to continue only for her to stabbed in the back (quite literally but I put that in there for you

    Naruto shuts up and watches because of the 7 reasons I posted up there.

    You won't forgive me for showing that Ryoko's was desprate enough to kill Hime for the acceptance of her father? Let me tell you something, Ryoko and Hime are opposites when it comes to 1 thing, having people accept her.

    If you notice in the earlier chapters, Ryoko wasn't social with anybody else until Koichi and Koji and her father is a butt rag to her...Hime is the magnificent daughter of the 6th Hokage, beautiful and strong everybody likes her...Ryoko resembles Naruto even more than his children in that category, but I see you don't pay attention to context or care much for character transformation when it comes to added features. Everybody wants Naruto to become Hokage but they don't wants Naruto to have to settle for the hardships and sacrifices of the Hokage position comes with. They want him to be carefree and be exactly like he was in the manga. smh

    I know you're probably not going to bother yourself with any of this. either that or try to rebut it but this is how it is. But I will definately say, I was expecting this from william and not from you.

    But thank you for giving your "Train" Response Nobody else gives me several points to work with. Although opposite of Train who normally balances it out with several strong points and weak points she brought up, it's still good
    Wow! Every s**t u write o'er there....u have a reason behind it.....lol
    That's great dude
     
         

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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash07 View Post
    Wow! Every s**t u write o'er there....u have a reason behind it.....lol
    That's great dude
    I always have a reason behind what I do in my Fanfictions.
     
         

  21. #21
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    Thanks Dave ^^



    keep trying.



    Ryoko's dad is one of my favorite characters for reasons unrevealed yet but that doesn't matter.

    You expect Naruto to be a child forever and neglect the fact that he has responsibilities as Hokage correct? Want to know everything Naruto's got on his plate as wellas the chuunin exams?

    1) Kabuto has come back
    2) Sasuke's gone and he hasn't told Sakura
    3) His head advisor is in critical care in a comma
    4) Iwagakure knows about the dealings of Konoha and Suna and are moving suspiciously
    5) Kirigakure is up to some shifty shiz
    6) Kabuto's trying to kidnap one of the genin
    7) He has Sai and Konohamaru heading deep into Iwagakure to gather information...

    Naruto's never had such responsibilities in his life, even now. Yes he's a Jinchuuriki in a war, his comrades are dying but just like Hiruzen was finding out, it's much more difficult to keep peace than to go to war. Naruto's encouragement? How about going boarderline parental neglect and allowing his daughter to continue with three deep blade wounds in her body and allowing it to continue only for her to stabbed in the back (quite literally but I put that in there for you

    Naruto shuts up and watches because of the 7 reasons I posted up there.

    You won't forgive me for showing that Ryoko's was desprate enough to kill Hime for the acceptance of her father? Let me tell you something, Ryoko and Hime are opposites when it comes to 1 thing, having people accept her.

    If you notice in the earlier chapters, Ryoko wasn't social with anybody else until Koichi and Koji and her father is a butt rag to her...Hime is the magnificent daughter of the 6th Hokage, beautiful and strong everybody likes her...Ryoko resembles Naruto even more than his children in that category, but I see you don't pay attention to context or care much for character transformation when it comes to added features. Everybody wants Naruto to become Hokage but they don't wants Naruto to have to settle for the hardships and sacrifices of the Hokage position comes with. They want him to be carefree and be exactly like he was in the manga. smh

    I know you're probably not going to bother yourself with any of this. either that or try to rebut it but this is how it is. But I will definately say, I was expecting this from william and not from you.

    But thank you for giving your "Train" Response Nobody else gives me several points to work with. Although opposite of Train who normally balances it out with several strong points and weak points she brought up, it's still good
    Bee was a bad rapper as a kid and grew up to be the same.
    Jiraiya was a perverted kid and then became a perverted adult.
    Naruto won't be an exception to the nature of his predecessors. He screams to his loved ones to never give up and he will do so as an adult. The Hokage position won't change him. Nothing ever does, not finding out he was a jinchuuriki, not losing Sasuke and Jiraiya, nothing.
    I should have gave positibe reviews, sorry bout that but I guess the chap really got to me+the 'other thing' that made me mad=nothing good to say at that time.


    Good stuffs-
    Good flow,
    Taijutsu descriptions were awesome,
    Will comment more later.
     
         

  22. #22
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzumaki16 View Post
    Bee was a bad rapper as a kid and grew up to be the same.
    Jiraiya was a perverted kid and then became a perverted adult.
    Naruto won't be an exception to the nature of his predecessors. He screams to his loved ones to never give up and he will do so as an adult. The Hokage position won't change him. Nothing ever does, not finding out he was a jinchuuriki, not losing Sasuke and Jiraiya, nothing.
    I should have gave positibe reviews, sorry bout that but I guess the chap really got to me+the 'other thing' that made me mad=nothing good to say at that time.


    Good stuffs-
    Good flow,
    Taijutsu descriptions were awesome,
    Will comment more later.
    Bee isn't a Kage,

    Jiraiya was perverted however he also tried to save Orochimaru like Naruto did with Sasuke and Jiraiya gave up and even advised Naruto to do the same. Jiraiya wised up, he learned with his mistakes. He was prepared to kill his former students since they were on the verge of creating a war, if Naruto stuck to his mentality he would always try to save people. If Naruto were in Jiraiya's shoes and kept his mentality he wouldn't have been able to kill Pein even if Talk no Jutsu didn't work. Talk no Jutsu works because of plot. Since this isn't Kishi's plot talk no jutsu doesn't work

    Jiraiya did change with age and experience although he did keep some of his old tendencies, why can't Naruto change? Why is Naruto the only character that doesn't change?

    In literature you'd classify Naruto as a static character, a character that doesn't change throughout the story, isn't developed, is the same as always. In some cases that alright, but for a protagonist or a major character it's not because the character gets boring and you expect everything already, just like you expected Naruto to do things he didn't do. I'm turning Naruto into a dynamic character. You have to look at Naruto as the Hokage, and you can't overestimate Naruto's ability to be himself in the face of adversity and underestimate just how much adversity the position of Hokage entitles.

    Thanks...^^''

    It doesn't have to always be positive, I asked for things you liked and disliked, I'm just explaining my reasonings for what I'm doing and pointing out that if characters stayed the same all the time, they would become boring and you would never inquire about what a character would do if he/she was in <insert situation here> How can somebody be expected to be a leader in charge of an entire village if they put their own ideals ahead of everything else all the time. Sasuke hasn't changed, Naruto didn't kill him, look where he's at now. Look at the mistakes that come with you're own set of morals. Leaders are in charge of the wellfare of their people sacrifice is the definition.
     
         
    Last edited by Reborn; 06-30-2012 at 03:44 PM.

  23. #23
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    . Uzumaki16 you mad bro? Frankly Hime is lucky to have even continued and your mad about it? Hime has one thing her father has and that's wanting to surpass the person that rivals her most, Ryoko on the other hand HAD to win! Imagine what kai would do, she already gets treated like trash by her damn dad.smh he probably still isn't proud even though she soloed the hokage' kid.

    But truthfully I think I have a whole new respect for ryoko. Like you said she was literally willing to kill some little girl(Hime) to be accepted by her dad. She's no longer hated by me. But I will say she's lucky Hime isn't too adept at hitting chakra points or she'd be dead from those blows to the chest.

    Oh yeah that last smug remark ryoko made to hime kinda angered me. Wanted hime to get up and air palm her in her mouth.lol
     
         
    Last edited by Shady Doctor; 06-30-2012 at 03:54 PM.

  24. #24
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by william24 View Post
    . Uzumaki16 you mad bro? Frankly Hime is lucky to have even continued and your mad about it? Hime has one thing her father has and that's wanting to surpass the person that rivals her most, Ryoko on the other hand HAD to win! Imagine what kai would do, she already gets treated like trash by her damn dad.smh he probably still isn't proud even though she soloed the hokage' kid.

    But truthfully I think I have a whole new respect for ryoko. Like you said she was literally willing to kill some little girl(Hime) to be accepted by her dad. She's no longer hated by me. But I will say she's lucky Hime isn't too adept at hitting chakra points or she'd be dead from those blows to the chest.
    0_0'' Da faq I didn't predict you're liking Ryoko this fast :crazy: The world's ending quick.

    I guess :ghehe: I'm happy about this?
     
         

  25. #25
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    Re: Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden LII

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    Bee isn't a Kage,

    Jiraiya was perverted however he also tried to save Orochimaru like Naruto did with Sasuke and Jiraiya gave up and even advised Naruto to do the same. Jiraiya wised up, he learned with his mistakes. He was prepared to kill his former students since they were on the verge of creating a war, if Naruto stuck to his mentality he would always try to save people. If Naruto were in Jiraiya's shoes and kept his mentality he wouldn't have been able to kill Pein even if Talk no Jutsu didn't work. Talk no Jutsu works because of plot. Since this isn't Kishi's plot talk no jutsu doesn't work

    Jiraiya did change with age and experience although he did keep some of his old tendencies, why can't Naruto change? Why is Naruto the only character that doesn't change?

    In literature you'd classify Naruto as a static character, a character that doesn't change throughout the story, isn't developed, is the same as always. In some cases that alright, but for a protagonist or a major character it's not because the character gets boring and you expect everything already, just like you expected Naruto to do things he didn't do. I'm turning Naruto into a dynamic character. You have to look at Naruto as the Hokage, and you can't overestimate Naruto's ability to be himself in the face of adversity and underestimate just how much adversity the position of Hokage entitles.

    Thanks...^^''

    It doesn't have to always be positive, I asked for things you liked and disliked, I'm just explaining my reasonings for what I'm doing and pointing out that if characters stayed the same all the time, they would become boring and you would never inquire about what a character would do if he/she was in <insert situation here> How can somebody be expected to be a leader in charge of an entire village if they put their own ideals ahead of everything else all the time. Sasuke hasn't changed, Naruto didn't kill him, look where he's at now. Look at the mistakes that come with you're own set of morals. Leaders are in charge of the wellfare of their people sacrifice is the definition.
    The greatest thing about Naruto is that he's always himself no matter the situation. Jiraiya never gave up on Orochimaru, he told Naruto to give up on Sasuke as a test, to see if they really are similar and they are both idiots. Its great! Jiraiya didn't want to kill Nagato, he thought he had to but he was wrong. He couldn't stay true to his peaceful ideals but Naruto came face to face with Nagato and spared him. He's himself, a lot of people have put a lot on the line believing that Naruto will ever remain the same; Tsunade, Jiraiya, Itachi, Nagato, Minato, Chiyo, Fukasaku, Shima, Sakura, the Five Kage and you know, the whole world. You can't just go around changing him.
    Also you mentioned Ryoko is an underdog? Seriously? The best academy graduate? Sure.
     
         

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