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  1. #1
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
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    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
    through my fingers to the
    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    I must begin by saying this isn't my fanfic...it's El Magnifico's (i deserve no credit for it) who's birthday happens to be today...so HAPPY BIRTDAY El Magnifico!!!
    Second of all, this is a short rap made by him also

    Battles ; fought to preserve the peace
    A point at which our reasoning cease
    Yet ideologies of pain and hate
    attempt to decide our inevitable fate

    But loss of hope is not the way
    May lead to dismay or may even betray
    So listen to the message i want to convey
    Don't let the trust , You put in your friends, SWAY

    okay *clears throat* so now time for the fanfic

    Scene: UCHIHA HIDEOUT

    ????: You are late!

    ||||: I know, kagami was there all the time. We need to do something about him.

    ????: Where are Uruchi and Yoshiro?

    ||||: They cannot come. Uruchi is still suffering from the injuries and Yoshiro is taking care of her

    ????: I already told you all! Injuries are part of the war. We, the Uchihas are destined to fight till our last breath. Pathetic you people are!

    ||||: I apologize on their behalf Setsuna-san!

    Setsuna: Did u find him?

    ||||: We didn’t find him there. I think he got away again!!

    Scene changes: FOREST FIRE COUNTRY

    Kama and team hiruzen set out to find the cave where Hiroshi took the refuge

    Kama: I saw him and I recognized him at once.

    Hiruzen: I still remember their faces…

    Kama: It is still unbelievable that our military forces and intelligence have failed to unmask the people who were behind the destruction of Uzushiogakure! (he said with rage)

    Hiruzen: There are certain things we still need to grasp, and I am sure some insider was behind all this!

    Kama: The rumor’s that there was an uchiha behind this…
    Hiruzen: yes but we investigated and found nothing….something, I don’t know what, is slipping from my mind…some sort of clue.

    Orochimaru: but an uchiha alone cannot eradicate a whole village, can he?? (he said with curiosity)

    Kama: we are almost there!!

    A CAVE HIDDEN BETWEEN THE LARGE ROCK BOULDERS AND TREES

    Hiruzen cuts his thumb with his kunai and makes a mark on the walL.All of them then enter the cave.

    Jiraiya: why did u cut your thumb sensei?

    Orochimaru: there was a barrier you fool (he said with a sigh)

    Inside the cave

    Hiroshi: Thank you for coming, Money, and your students as well (looking at them)

    Hiruzen: that is no problem at all. This Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade, (now looking at the students) Everyone, this is Hiroshi hyuuga.

    Jiraiya/Orochimaru/Tsunade: nice to meet you sir!

    Hiroshi: my pleasure.

    The conversation between them continued while hiruzen walked up to the table and looked at the wrapped cloth. Suddenly they heard some crying; thecrying of a newborn child and all of them turned around in shock.

    Hiruzen: Same face and glow!! …what’s his name??

    Hiroshi: Dan! Named after his grandfather

    Tsunade: What’s going on? Can anyone explain me what's the meaning of this?

    Hiroshi: oh sorry for the mess-up!! I shall explain everything. Please pay attention. This boy is the son of Ryuu Kennon and Kazumi Senju. Ryuu was the member of the Kennon clan of uzushiogakure, and kazumi was the daughter of 2nd Hokage - your aunt, tsunade- (he said while looking at Tsunade).
    After the destruction of uzushiogakure 5 years ago in which uzumaki clan and Kennon clan were vanished, Ryuu and his family survived with some of the uzumaki clan members. They took refuge in fire country, mostly in Konoha. Ryuu and Kazumi, however, didn’t want to be a part of military anymore, it was because of the kekkai genkai possessed by the Kennon. But in any case, it was their choice, but that’s what we believed. Actually Ryuu and kazumi were investigating something and they were too close but sudden death of Ryuu and Kazumi left the case as it is. I met Kazumi some 3 months ago who told me about Dan and asked me to keep him safe from them...

    Jiraiya: Safe? From who and why?? (Jiraiya was more confused now)

    Hiroshi: We don’t know yet for sure…but it’s because of the kekkai genkai possessed by the boy!

    Hiruzen: Why didn’t you notify us before??

    Hiroshi: I was changing place since then and it was not safe because I was being followed

    Hiruzen: Followed, by who?

    Hiroshi: A Konoha ninja, that's for sure!

    Hiruzen: What?? But how’s that possible?

    Hiroshi
    : Listen hiruzen, I want you now to take this boy with u back to Konoha

    Hiruzen: what?? U urself said that some Konoha ninjas are behind all this! what if they get to know that this boy is with me in Konoha?

    Hiroshi: I have a plan…listen carefully, all of you..

    (to be continued...)

    here's the link of the previous chapter http://www.narutobase.net/forums/sho...d.php?t=191063

    Thanks for viewing, please don't be so hard on us
     
         
    Last edited by Sinfonia; 06-11-2012 at 11:18 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    thank u so much !
     
         

  3. #3
    « Killer Vision »'s Avatar
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    "You know, all that
    really matters is that the
    people you love are happy and
    healthy. Everything else is
    just sprinkles on the
    sundae." -Paul Walker
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    very well done. you two are a great team.
     
         

  4. #4
    A.K.A Striker BadBoy M's Avatar
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    The more you learn The more
    you forget The more you forget
    The less you know So why
    learn??
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Great story n rap ^_^ .. Good team indeed ;p
     
         

  5. #5
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
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    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
    through my fingers to the
    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    thank you cloud, thank you pandy
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member Supermacaquecool's Avatar
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    Ñañañañaña
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    So far, I've only read the rap. I wanted to comment till I finishe to read everything, but since it's not going to happen soon and I may forget what I wanted to say, I only comment:
    That rap was awesome! I don't usually get the sonority in a text, but in this case worked.
     
         

  7. #7
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Supermacaquecool View Post
    So far, I've only read the rap. I wanted to comment till I finishe to read everything, but since it's not going to happen soon and I may forget what I wanted to say, I only comment:
    That rap was awesome! I don't usually get the sonority in a text, but in this case worked.
    thank u !!! :ice:
     
         

  8. #8
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
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    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
    through my fingers to the
    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Supermacaquecool View Post
    So far, I've only read the rap. I wanted to comment till I finishe to read everything, but since it's not going to happen soon and I may forget what I wanted to say, I only comment:
    That rap was awesome! I don't usually get the sonority in a text, but in this case worked.
    thank you so much coming from you, i'm truly flattered
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member Supermacaquecool's Avatar
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    Ñañañañaña
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Yh! I finally finished!
    Okay. Your story has good intrigue. It's exciting.
    And Wow! You even respected the Hyuga clan names.
    Request: Please, don't write Tsunade in yellow, it's too bright for me.
    I cannot think of any advice, but if I ever think one I'll let ya know.
     
         

  10. #10
    ___________ - TD -'s Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    That was Nice and like everyone said, you are a great team ^^
    Btw Happy Birthday EL MAGNIFICO!!
     
         

  11. #11
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
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    The Will of me U_U
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    pretty awesome :crazy:
     
         

  12. #12
    OtakuOngakuNeko:3
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    ...Epic!! It just gets better and better!! D
    Keep up the awesome work you two, it's truly wonderful!
     
         

  13. #13
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by JiraiyaEroSennin View Post
    pretty awesome :crazy:
    Quote Originally Posted by xlilyx View Post
    ...Epic!! It just gets better and better!! D
    Keep up the awesome work you two, it's truly wonderful!
    thank you ...i m glad u both liked it :ice::ice:
     
         

  14. #14
    § Lasani § Talha52's Avatar
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    I think You think you think
    like me but thinking that you
    can think the way I think is a
    proof that you only think that
    you think the way I think
    while in reality you don't
    think the way I
    think......THINK ABOUT IT !
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Nice work.
    Great rap !
     
         

  15. #15
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Talha52 View Post
    Nice work.
    Great rap !
    thanx man !!!!!
     
         

  16. #16
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    very well done as a few ppl have said you are a good team it is very good so far i enjoyed this chapter keep up the good work plus rep to both of you.

    Happy Birthday El Magnifico
     
         

  17. #17
    +Kyon+'s Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Rap is awesome but chapter is not awesome like last one i like last chapter most
     
         

  18. #18
    Member orel's Avatar
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    The fundamental of life is
    Walk/talk like the king or
    walk/talk like you don't give
    a damn who the king is
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    nice work!!!

    And a happy birthday to you Magnifico
     
         

  19. #19
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    Rap is awesome but chapter is not awesome like last one i like last chapter most
    Quote Originally Posted by serenaandrosie View Post
    very well done as a few ppl have said you are a good team it is very good so far i enjoyed this chapter keep up the good work plus rep to both of you.

    Happy Birthday El Magnifico
    Quote Originally Posted by orel View Post
    nice work!!!

    And a happy birthday to you Magnifico
    thank u for the comments .....
    @kyon ...sorry ..i will try to improve !!!
     
         

  20. #20
    kiriahatake's Avatar
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    Crying. Crying and my tears
    arn't even seen as my heart
    bleeds on the inside.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by hinata020 View Post
    I must begin by saying this isn't my fanfic...it's El Magnifico's (i deserve no credit for it) who's birthday happens to be today...so HAPPY BIRTDAY El Magnifico!!!
    Second of all, this is a short rap made by him also

    Battles ; fought to preserve the peace
    A point at which our reasoning cease
    Yet ideologies of pain and hate
    attempt to decide our inevitable fate

    But loss of hope is not the way
    May lead to dismay or may even betray
    So listen to the message i want to convey
    Don't let the trust , You put in your friends, SWAY

    okay *clears throat* so now time for the fanfic

    Scene: UCHIHA HIDEOUT

    ????: You are late!

    ||||: I know, kagami was there all the time. We need to do something about him.

    ????: Where are Uruchi and Yoshiro?

    ||||: They cannot come. Uruchi is still suffering from the injuries and Yoshiro is taking care of her

    ????: I already told you all! Injuries are part of the war. We, the Uchihas are destined to fight till our last breath. Pathetic you people are!

    ||||: I apologize on their behalf Setsuna-san!

    Setsuna: Did u find him?

    ||||: We didn’t find him there. I think he got away again!!

    Scene changes: FOREST FIRE COUNTRY

    Kama and team hiruzen set out to find the cave where Hiroshi took the refuge

    Kama: I saw him and I recognized him at once.

    Hiruzen: I still remember their faces…

    Kama: It is still unbelievable that our military forces and intelligence have failed to unmask the people who were behind the destruction of Uzushiogakure! (he said with rage)

    Hiruzen: There are certain things we still need to grasp, and I am sure some insider was behind all this!

    Kama: The rumor’s that there was an uchiha behind this…
    Hiruzen: yes but we investigated and found nothing….something, I don’t know what, is slipping from my mind…some sort of clue.

    Orochimaru: but an uchiha alone cannot eradicate a whole village, can he?? (he said with curiosity)

    Kama: we are almost there!!

    A CAVE HIDDEN BETWEEN THE LARGE ROCK BOULDERS AND TREES

    Hiruzen cuts his thumb with his kunai and makes a mark on the walL.All of them then enter the cave.

    Jiraiya: why did u cut your thumb sensei?

    Orochimaru: there was a barrier you fool (he said with a sigh)

    Inside the cave

    Hiroshi: Thank you for coming, Money, and your students as well (looking at them)

    Hiruzen: that is no problem at all. This Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade, (now looking at the students) Everyone, this is Hiroshi hyuuga.

    Jiraiya/Orochimaru/Tsunade: nice to meet you sir!

    Hiroshi: my pleasure.

    The conversation between them continued while hiruzen walked up to the table and looked at the wrapped cloth. Suddenly they heard some crying; thecrying of a newborn child and all of them turned around in shock.

    Hiruzen: Same face and glow!! …what’s his name??

    Hiroshi: Dan! Named after his grandfather

    Tsunade: What’s going on? Can anyone explain me what's the meaning of this?

    Hiroshi: oh sorry for the mess-up!! I shall explain everything. Please pay attention. This boy is the son of Ryuu Kennon and Kazumi Senju. Ryuu was the member of the Kennon clan of uzushiogakure, and kazumi was the daughter of 2nd Hokage - your aunt, tsunade- (he said while looking at Tsunade).
    After the destruction of uzushiogakure 5 years ago in which uzumaki clan and Kennon clan were vanished, Ryuu and his family survived with some of the uzumaki clan members. They took refuge in fire country, mostly in Konoha. Ryuu and Kazumi, however, didn’t want to be a part of military anymore, it was because of the kekkai genkai possessed by the Kennon. But in any case, it was their choice, but that’s what we believed. Actually Ryuu and kazumi were investigating something and they were too close but sudden death of Ryuu and Kazumi left the case as it is. I met Kazumi some 3 months ago who told me about Dan and asked me to keep him safe from them...

    Jiraiya: Safe? From who and why?? (Jiraiya was more confused now)

    Hiroshi: We don’t know yet for sure…but it’s because of the kekkai genkai possessed by the boy!

    Hiruzen: Why didn’t you notify us before??

    Hiroshi: I was changing place since then and it was not safe because I was being followed

    Hiruzen: Followed, by who?

    Hiroshi: A Konoha ninja, that's for sure!

    Hiruzen: What?? But how’s that possible?

    Hiroshi
    : Listen hiruzen, I want you now to take this boy with u back to Konoha

    Hiruzen: what?? U urself said that some Konoha ninjas are behind all this! what if they get to know that this boy is with me in Konoha?

    Hiroshi: I have a plan…listen carefully, all of you..

    (to be continued...)

    here's the link of the previous chapter http://www.narutobase.net/forums/sho...d.php?t=191063

    Thanks for viewing, please don't be so hard on us
    happy b'day btw its good but its more in play form than a story don't yah think? it was good even though its not my type of story.....great job..:ice:
     
         

  21. #21
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by kiriahatake View Post
    happy b'day btw its good but its more in play form than a story don't yah think? it was good even though its not my type of story.....great job..:ice:
    thank u kiri !!:ice:
    yeah its in a play-form ....people hate reading long paragraphs lol !!
    i do too !!
     
         

  22. #22
    Senior Member Chakra Wizard's Avatar
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    Trying to balance work and
    school while writing in my
    spare time.
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Aside from the fact you made Dan Tsunade's 2nd cousin, it was good. Just a couple grammar problems here and there.
     
         

  23. #23
    Senior Member basegirl's Avatar
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    "we are just ordinary
    people driven to revenge in
    the name of justice, but if
    revenge is called justice,
    then that justice breeds yet
    more revenge and becomes a
    chain of hatred"
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    awesome wease:
     
         

  24. #24
    Senior Member IzunaUchiha2's Avatar
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    And im the one to blame aint
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    Nice
    happy bday el magnifectint
     
         

  25. #25
    Senior Member uzumaki antonia's Avatar
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    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD Chapter 2

    wow that was awsome you guys are such a great team
     
         

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