Page 1 of 3 123 Last»
Results 1 to 25 of 52
  1. #1
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
    HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!!!!
    Well, to say that this is my FanFic would be totally untrue. At best, this is one of my dreams, here at Narutobase lol! People here on NB, some of them are so wonderful, helped me a lot. I would like to thank them all, and in particular:
    Hinata020: My editor and friend who enlightened me on the basics and always encouraged me.
    Basegirl: Amazing friend here on NB, who read the FF and encouraged me.
    Serenaandrosie: She told me that I have the potential to keep it up!!!
    Sharingdork-san: His FF awards have always inspired me…
    And last but not the least, it is only when one write something; one realizes the true power of MSWord, from grammar checks to replace-alls. It is simple – without this software, this FF would not b written. Thank you Mr. Bill Gates and Microsoft Corp!

    THE STORY UNTOLD
    Lie deep within the heart of mysteries
    The story of a young prodigy
    Yet faded away from the books of histories
    Like a river in the sea, it’s a tragedy

    He was last of his clan
    And without any plan
    That guy named Dan
    Sacrificed all that he can

    He was everywhere extolled
    But he lost his family, no one consoled
    There are some secrets yet to unfold
    As we begin to read “THE STORY UNTOLD” ……………
    THIS IS SET 42 YEARS BEFORE THE START OF THE SERIES ‘NARUTO’…….
    FIRE COUNTRY FOREST
    A shinobi was running and he had something in his hands, it was wrapped up in some old clothes...
    After he had been running for awhile he stops to look around …..And then he enters the cave that is in front of him ….
    Inside the cave, there were ninja tools, some bottles and medicines, a hanging cloth bed and some photos on the table
    He then put the wrapped thing on the table … and yelled

    KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (A giant weasel appears )
    Kama (weasel): u look tense...what's the matter ?
    Hiroshi: I need u to give this message to Money as soon as u can ….
    Kama: right! What’s that, on the table?
    (Kama looks at the table curiously )
    Hiroshi: have a look …
    Kama looks at the wrapped thing ….
    Kama: so it’s true eh?
    SCENE CHANGES ….KONOHA
    Meanwhile in Konoha a boy, with grey uncombed hair was training with his sensei under a tree….A girl and another boy were there sitting on the tree….

    Sensei: Do it again!
    Boy: alright sensei!
    SHADOW CLONE JUTSU
    10 shadow clones appear …..
    Boy: Did u see that sensei??
    (Boy asks with enthusiasm)
    Sensei: u can do better! Try to focus and create more clones with less amount of chakra …..
    (The boy's enthusiastic face quickly grew into one of discouragement.)
    Boy: its almost 3 hour’s sensei….can’t we eat something sensei?
    (SFX: grrrrgrrr ….sound from boy’s stomach)
    Sensei: you know the rules……no dinner until you make 10 clones with effective use of chakra ….
    Girl (was already sitting on the tree): It’s a miracle that you made it this far!
    Boy: shut up you flat che…
    Sensei: enough both of you …..
    With discontent, the boy then continued on with his training

    An hour later
    SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!!!!!!!
    Boy: How was it this time sensei?
    Sensei: better ….lets have dinner
    The boy looks at the girl ………..
    Girl: what??
    ????: What’s for the dinner Money?
    (A voice from the bushes comes)
    Everybody turn around except the sensei
    Sensei: it’s been a long time Kama…..
    Boy: what’s this sensei?
    (boy looks curious)
    Sensei: Kama these are my students ….Jiraiya, tsunade and orochimaru…
    Kama: Brilliant indeed ……by the way ….hiroshi asked me to give this to you ….
    Kama then hands an envelope to hiruzen
    Hiruzen: so it’s true eh?
    Kama: looks like it
    Jiraiya: what’s going on sensei?
    (Confused)
    Hiruzen: we are going to meet someone …………
    (With sparkled eyes and a glow on his face)

    THANK U FOR READING !! PLEASE COMMENT
     
         

  2. #2
    « Killer Vision »'s Avatar
    Status
    « Killer Vision » is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Island closest to Heaven
    Posts
    58,394
    Post Thanks / Like
    "You know, all that
    really matters is that the
    people you love are happy and
    healthy. Everything else is
    just sprinkles on the
    sundae." -Paul Walker
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    very good! pls send me a link if continuation is out.
     
         

  3. #3
    Kitsune no yoko izinagi54's Avatar
    Status
    izinagi54 is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    reality
    Posts
    4,551
    Post Thanks / Like
    Death is natural... and to
    deflower such a natural thing
    is a sin, and those who defy
    the whims of Nature shall know
    the true pain in which none
    can shelter and shudder. s
    gift that we all can be happy
    for
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thumbs up
     
         

  4. #4
    Nyctophiliac Sinfonia's Avatar
    Status
    Sinfonia is online now
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Searching for The Sunless Nether
    Posts
    10,590
    Post Thanks / Like
    And I hold within my hand
    Grains of the golden sand- How
    few! yet how they creep
    through my fingers to the
    deep, While I weep- while I
    weep! O God! can I not grasp
    them with a tighter clasp?
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    great job Magnifico!! I really hope there is more of this
     
         

  5. #5
    Goth Sage Mode Billyazzmen985's Avatar
    Status
    Billyazzmen985 is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Scranton Pa, USA
    Posts
    118
    Post Thanks / Like
    sane
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Awsome! Good job bro
     
         

  6. #6
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thank u for ur comments !!!
     
         

  7. #7
    Goth Sage Mode Billyazzmen985's Avatar
    Status
    Billyazzmen985 is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Scranton Pa, USA
    Posts
    118
    Post Thanks / Like
    sane
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    I want more plz
     
         

  8. #8
    §€X¥╘ΘvéR§ Gary777's Avatar
    Status
    Gary777 is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    IN UR heart ♡ InDIa♡
    Posts
    3,038
    Post Thanks / Like
    When the road gets dark and
    you can no longer see let my
    love throw a spark have a
    little faith in me .
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    niceeee
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
    Status
    Gutsy Jiraiya is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Unknown
    Posts
    10,012
    Post Thanks / Like
    The Will of me U_U
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    pretty awesome i like it.... :D i like something that is actually not that long and is very fun to read so please continue
     
         

  10. #10
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thank u for the coments
     
         

  11. #11
    Senior Member Sina..'s Avatar
    Status
    Sina.. is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    This is awesome.
    You should totally continue it. ;D
     
         

  12. #12
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thank u
     
         

  13. #13
    Kevin Flynn HotShot's Avatar
    Status
    HotShot is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Village Hidden in the Oro
    Posts
    659
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    "Lie deep within the heart of mysteries
    The story of a young prodigy
    Yet faded away from the books of histories
    Like a river in the sea, it’s a tragedy

    He was last of his clan
    And without any plan
    That guy named Dan
    Sacrificed all that he can

    He was everywhere extolled
    But he lost his family, no one consoled
    There are some secrets yet to unfold
    As we begin to read “THE STORY UNTOLD” ……………"

     
         

  14. #14
    Senior Member Nimmy's Avatar
    Status
    Nimmy is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Stealing your cat.
    Posts
    26,002
    Post Thanks / Like
    Funky at heart.
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    I like it and I loved the poem at the beginning!! :D
     
         

  15. #15
    A.K.A Striker BadBoy M's Avatar
    Status
    BadBoy M is online now
    Gender
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Beside you O_O
    Posts
    11,524
    Post Thanks / Like
    The more you learn The more
    you forget The more you forget
    The less you know So why
    learn??
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    wow i like this D

    do more :3
     
         

  16. #16
    Senior Member Gutsy Jiraiya's Avatar
    Status
    Gutsy Jiraiya is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Unknown
    Posts
    10,012
    Post Thanks / Like
    The Will of me U_U
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by hotshot View Post
    "lie deep within the heart of mysteries
    the story of a young prodigy
    yet faded away from the books of histories
    like a river in the sea, it’s a tragedy

    he was last of his clan
    and without any plan
    that guy named dan
    sacrificed all that he can

    he was everywhere extolled
    but he lost his family, no one consoled
    there are some secrets yet to unfold
    as we begin to read “the story untold” ……………"

    nice!!! :d
     
         

  17. #17
    Senior Member shelma's Avatar
    Status
    shelma is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Deep in my own wonderland~
    Posts
    1,912
    Post Thanks / Like
    Close your eyes...and let me
    take away your pain and make
    you smile~
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    It was a really gud way to begin a fanfic and the colors were gud
    Hiruzen seemed a bit too strict as a sensei,but maybe it was just his youth
    I think u could leave a bit more space for the location headings...
    U just need a little more work but i still loved the story.:o
    Keep it up,k!! :D
     
         

  18. #18
    +Kyon+'s Avatar
    Status
    +Kyon+ is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    ~Narutobase~
    Posts
    8,384
    Post Thanks / Like
    Missing old nb days
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Its really nice bro a little short but nice,keep it up.
     
         

  19. #19
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thank u
     
         

  20. #20
    kiriahatake's Avatar
    Status
    kiriahatake is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Hidden Shade Village (Ohio, United States)
    Posts
    6,537
    Post Thanks / Like
    Crying. Crying and my tears
    arn't even seen as my heart
    bleeds on the inside.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    i like but i got confused....
     
         

  21. #21
    Senior Member serenaandrosie's Avatar
    Status
    serenaandrosie is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    New Bodhum
    Posts
    3,067
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Well Done great start i see you kept some of my sugestions keep up the good work let me know when you release more and if you need my help again please feel free to ask any time. plus rep
     
         
    Last edited by serenaandrosie; 05-22-2012 at 11:14 AM.

  22. #22
    Writing time~ Netsui's Avatar
    Status
    Netsui is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Heat Haze
    Posts
    5,581
    Post Thanks / Like
    Writer in Training! I have so
    much I want to write, but
    there's not enough hours in
    the day.
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Nice. I really like it and can't wait to read more. :D
     
         

  23. #23
    eyes that guide the blind EYES OF ITACHI's Avatar
    Status
    EYES OF ITACHI is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Richmond, VA
    Posts
    1,268
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    nice..keep it up
     
         

  24. #24
    Senior Member EL MAGNIFICO's Avatar
    Status
    EL MAGNIFICO is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Godric's Hollow
    Posts
    2,716
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     

    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    thank u
     
         

  25. #25
    Yugure's Avatar
    Status
    Yugure is offline
    Gender
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    オーストリア
    Posts
    8,351
    Post Thanks / Like
    This user has no status.
     



    Re: THE STORY UNTOLD . Chapter 1

    Good start! I am curious for the rest
     
         

Page 1 of 3 123 Last»

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •