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    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns 1 [16]

    Note Before Reading: As most of you may have figured out already, or for those who are completely new to my work, this FanFiction is a Sequel to my previous one and therefore it's not a standalone work by me. Hence, for those who are new to my FanFiction, I suggest reading through my original/first one first, and for those who have followed my work ever since I started out back in 2010, you might want to freshen up on the story before settling out on this follow-up FanFiction.

    If your memory is phenomenal and you remember it all, you might just go ahead and begin reading the first chapter of this sequel, however, it's strongly recommended to at least read the three last chapters of the original (Chapter 13, 14 and 15) first, to freshen up on the latest events happening, as it's been over half a year since I released the final chapter of the original. Even I had trouble remembering it all, so before I began writing the first chapter of the sequel, I had to read through my whole FanFiction one more time.

    One other reason is that a lot of the names in the sequel won't be recognizable if you don't have a memory that's way above average. You might also wonder about the beginning of this sequel as it doesn't pick up from where chapter 15 ended, right away.
    In fact, the fight that I ended my first FanFiction with, won't be continued before chapter 3.
    The reason for this is that I pretty much didn't want to start writing battle right away and I also felt that I wanted a fresh start. That's basically why this doesn't go on as Chapter 16, 17 and so on, but instead it starts out on Chapter 1.

    Plus, I also had ideas for two more Chronicles, beside the two I've already written about Sasuke and Kakashi, but I ended up dropping bigger parts of the ideas I had for them and ended up incorporating them into my sequel instead.That's about all I had to say, so I hope as many of my old readers will still follow my work, and new readers are always welcome.

    Below are links to the whole of "The Legendary Sage of Konoha" Series, in chronological reading order, in case you have/want to freshen up on it or you're new and need to read that one first.

    The Legendary Sage of Konoha, Previous Chapters [In Reading Order]:



    The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1:

    Memory of The Past;


    It was a rainy and cold day in Konoha. A bird was busy picking up its last bugs before flying to shelter, as a storm was rapidly approaching. Black clouds dark as oil were seen on the horizon and the trees outside of Konoha's gates were heavily shaking back and forth, as a southeast wind was blowing hard; casting leaves, rocks and other small objects all around. It had been raining for three days now, and the shadow of a particular man was seen in the window of the Hokage Mansion. The man looked outside as he viewed some people on the outside below hurrying back to their home. Rain was pouring on the glass as the man was occupied in his thoughts.

    ?: Hokage sama...

    A woman entered the room as she approached him with news.]

    ?: ... Hey?

    Not getting any immediate responds, the woman reached out for his shoulder, gently with her hand, as the man returned back to reality.

    Hokage: ... Oh?! It's you... Sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts. So what is it that you have on mind, Mito?

    The man quickly turned around as he noticed the hand on his shoulder. He walked over to his chair as he sat down to listen to what she had to say.

    Mito: Hehe, it's alright. There hasn't been too much going on the last couple of days because of the bad weather. I wonder why it's been raining so much...

    Hokage: Yeah, I can't remember the weather being this bad since we were young.
    The village activity isn't on a high level because of it and most people keeps themselves inside their homes.

    Mito: Yeah, I know... Anyways, me and Hiruzen have completed the task you wanted us to take care of, and here's our report.

    Hokage: Oh I see, let me take a look.

    The man's eyes quickly set its focus on the paper as he earnestly looked through it.

    Hokage: Well done. I didn't expect such a great outcome of the situation.

    Mito: Yeah it went more smooth than we expected. Hiruzen stayed behind to look over the final procedure.

    Hokage: I see.

    Mito: Well, I guess that settles it. I guess it's time to get home as it's getting late.

    Hokage: Yeah you do that. Report back here tomorrow as I got another task I want you and Hiruzen to specifically handle.

    Mito: Okay sure, later then.

    As she walked out the door, the man quickly glanced at the clock hanging above it, realizing it was closing in on midnight. He rose from his chair as he started thinking of heading home. He shelved the remaining documents and was about to exit the door when he noticed a picture laying on the desk beside it, among some other papers. He picked it up as a smile formed on his face. It was a picture he hadn't seen in a long time and that he had completely forgot he had.

    Hokage: This takes me back... I wonder how old this is...

    His thoughts reminisced the past as he walked out the door with the picture in hand.

    [...]

    ?: Oi, old man, another bowl!

    Teuchi: Coming right up!

    It was crowded at the ramen shop today as three people were eating the very best ramen in the country.

    ?: I don't really get why you enjoy this so much, it's not like it's the best food in the world, Naruto... You should have tasted the food we have back home in Kumo, there I could eat a whole sumo!

    Naruto: Are you kidding me?! How can you say that, it's an insult!

    ?: Hey calm down, both of you, you're suppose to keep appearances...

    Naruto lifted his fist in frustration as he was trying to reach out for the other guy seated next to the one beside him. The both of them broke out in an argument as the man seated in the middle tried to calm the two of them down.

    Naruto: I can not let Killerbee get away with that one.

    Killerbee: Idiot, like you could ever take on me, I'm Killer-bee!

    Naruto: What?!

    ?: Geez... Hey, could I have another bowl too?

    Teuchi: Right away!

    Naruto: See, Gaara thinks it's good!

    Reaching his tongue out in a silly way, Killerbee just waved him off.

    Naruto: Humph! Nothing you say can convince me there is something better than this out there.

    Killerbee: Fine, but I'm stuffed on this already, you old teddy...

    Gaara: You're making everyone look strange at us. We're all kages now, and therefore we should keep appearance.

    Naruto: Screw that, nobody cares when they're eating.

    Gaara: Sigh, you never change.

    Naruto: So, old man, I heard you were thinking of retiring next year when you turn 60?

    Teuchi: Well yeah, I don't live forever and I've worked at this shop for almost 40 years now. But don't you worry, Ayame will still keep it running. She has learned everything she can from me, isn't that right?

    Ayame: Sure is.

    Naruto: Yeah, I don't think I can taste the difference anymore, ghehe...

    ?: So this is where the three of you are hanging out!

    As the five of them were talking, another man entered the shop.

    Gaara: Kitsuchi... How did you find us?

    Kitsuchi: I was talking to Kakashi some moments ago, and he said he thought you would be here.

    Teuchi: So you are the 4th Tsuchikage? I'm honored to have all these important people here at once!

    Ayame: I don't think we have ever had more than one Kage at a time in this shop.

    Kitsuchi: Haha, that's me alright. While I'm here, why don't you throw me one of those Ramen specialties I've heard so much about from Naruto.

    Teuchi: Ayame, let's make this next one the best we can!

    Ayame: Right!

    Gaara: So where is Mei at anyways?

    Kitsuchi: She's preparing for the semi-finals of the Chunin exams to begin, I think.

    Gaara: But that's still three days to, she should come join us here and enjoy the day.

    Kitsuchi: Yeah you're right about that, but I guess this place is below here standards.

    Naruto: Humph, she cares too much about what she does in public.

    Killerbee: You're right about that, she's like a cat... She should try not to be so fixed on her appearances, to get a meeting with her you have to have clearances...

    Gaara: Yeah I guess you're right, however, you may still act like a kage if you choose to go out in public.

    Naruto: Meeeeeeh... boring!

    Refusing to acknowledge Gaara's manner on how to act, Naruto bluntly crossed his arms, making Teuchi laugh.

    Teuchi: Hah, that's our Hokage alright!

    Naruto: That's right!

    Kitsuchi: Wow, this tastes great!

    Naruto: Ahaha! Look Killerbee, it's only you who didn't think it was as good as I said it was!

    Killerbee: Yeah, yeah, idiot!

    Kitsuchi: So who do you guys think will make it to the final? Judging from the four last chunin exams since the 4th great shinobi war, eight years ago, I will say that the Leaf has a pretty good chance at taking this one home.

    Gaara: I regret that there is no shinobies from the Sand and Mist left at this round, but right now I'm uncertain whether it will be one from Konoha, Kumo or Iwa. Konoha definitely has an advantage having two shinobies in the semi-finals...

    Killerbee: The shinobi of the cloud, he will make me proud!

    Kitsuchi: You think he will go all the way? I'm excited to see whether the shinobi from my village will be able to overcome the challenge he has to face.

    Naruto was busy swallowing another bowl of Ramen in a calm manner, while the three others talked about who would reach the finals, as if he didn't care too much about it.

    Naruto: Does it really matter who wins? It's more about who shows the best capabilities of becoming a Chunin...

    Gaara: Yeah you're right about that. People who have been eliminated in the first round, have become the chunin on some occasions.

    Naruto: Yeah, like Shikamaru years ago.

    Gaara: And then we have people who never became Chunin to begin with, but just went straight to kage instead.

    Naruto: Hah, it was all bad luck and timing!

    Kitsuchi: Still, it's also about showing that you have strength and power inside you!

    Gaara: True, true...

    Teuchi and Ayame was busy as ever making ramen as the four of them swallowed the last remains of their current bowls, asking for more.

    Killerbee: I got to admit that this is eatable, but only because it's regional.

    Gaara: So since the two Konoha shinobies are not to face each other... maybe there's a chance for the two of them facing off in the final? Being that the chunin exams are held in Konoha this time, I guess that would be favorable.

    Kitsuchi: Hah, I don't think they'll be able to beat the stone shinobi, but we'll see.

    Gaara: Yeah, and I guess Naruto is the one of us that's the most excited, being as his s...

    Naruto: Yeah we'll see...

    Gaara: Well I believe he will go all the way... The promise he's shown so far is quite impressive. If he would become Chunin at this age, it would be phenomenal.

    Naruto: You got to remember that there have been people who has become chunin at an even younger age than what Jiraiya is now... Kakashi became chunin at the age of six.

    [...]

    ?: Damn it Kakashi sensei, I still can't pull it off!

    Kakashi: You're stressing too much Jiraiya, try again.

    ?: You know, this technique isn't one that's pulled off in one day... Kakashi Tai Cho spent days mastering it.

    At the training ground, Kakashi was trying to teach Jiraiya a new technique for the upcoming semi finals as Yamato was seated under a shadow made by his own wooden creation. The sun stood high as the sky was clear blue. Birds were singing in a tree nearby as a summer breeze swept across the training ground.

    Jiraiya: But still! It's taking forever! I need to pull this one of so that I can surprise my dad.

    Yamato: But that's not all that matters you know. You don't even have to win the final to be the one to become chunin. What you displayed in the first round, as well as the preliminary round was on a whole level by itself.

    Jiraiya: I know that, but I need to go all the way, I want my dad to acknowledge me to be more than just his son. I want to make him proud... Everyone just views me as his son, and because of that everyone expects me to deliver. And even if I do, they still think it's only because I'm his son. I'm so tired of that, and therefore I need to pull this off to show them that I can do stuff that my dad can't!

    Kakashi: Even if you have the affinity for lightning element, that doesn't mean you will be able to learn Chidori... not in three days at least.

    Jiraiya: But you've been able to teach it to someone else before... Sasuke, am I right?

    Kakashi: Yes I was, but then we had a month as it was before the first round, not in three days like now.

    Yamato: Geez... even if you're not able to pull it off by the semi-final, you can always learn to master it later on...

    Jiraiya: I know that... But that won't matter, I need to do this now. Ever since I graduated two years ago, I've steadily learned new stuff in no time. Even beat Hiruzen in learning the shadow clone jutsu first!

    Kakashi: Yeah, but not everything you learn will be mastered in the same amount of time. Like now, you're still only able to do about ten shadow clones at maximum, but in a few years time, you will probably be able to pull off a thousand like your father, or it might end up on 100 like me, you never know. Although you have a great advantage with your chakra supply.

    Yamato: And you got to remember that Kakashi developed this technique when he was thirteen, and he taught it to Sasuke when Sasuke was twelve. You're still only eight, so you might have to keep training for another five years before you're able to master it.

    Jiraiya: Yeah I know, Yamato sensei, but as of now I don't need to master it to pull it off.

    Yamato: Also remember that you should be glad you're even being taught this technique to begin with, as it's quite rare to learn such an advanced technique at your age. It's especially because you are Naruto's son, and that's why we believe that if anyone should be able to do it at this age, it's you. You should be more grateful for things in your life. At least people look up to you and expect you to deliver. It wasn't always the same for Naruto... Quite the opposite really.

    Kakashi: That's true, plus you're even getting both my own and Yamato's guidance for this, not many people can boast having that help. Hiruzen has to be satisfied with Lee and Gai's help, and even that's not something everyone gets.

    Jiraiya: Yeah, yeah, I know alright, but Hiruzen gets trained by his father as well. My dad is always busy, so he can't help with my training.

    Yamato: But that's why he chose me specifically to be your sensei and also chose Kakashi and Gai to be there if you needed it.

    Jiraiya: Yeah I know, he's the Hokage and he's busy, but it would have been nice to train with him for once. Get to learn something from my dad, you know. Besides, you two and Gai have always been there for Hiruzen, Mito and I, even before we graduated from the academy. So it would have been nice to actually train with my dad once in awhile. Even now with the new school system my dad, Shikamaru and Tsunade came up with, having three different academies beside training with a sensei and going out on missions, that further helps us find out and tune our skills in Genjutsu, Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, I still feel that I can't get enough experience fast enough.

    Kakashi: Well I understand that, but being patient is sometimes all that it takes.

    Yamato: Besides, Kakashi is usually busy at the Ninjutsu academy, while Gai is busy at the Taijutsu academy, so getting the chance to train with him now is more than anyone could ask for really. Him and Gai are the two highest ranking shinobies in this village beside the Hokage, with their own rank, even rivaling the three legendary sannins!

    Kakashi: Haha, you're overdoing it now.

    Overwhelmed by praise, Kakashi tried to lower Yamato's boast of him, but in vain.

    Yamato: But it's true, no point denying it...

    Jiraiya: Yeah I guess... and I'm really grateful for all the help I get, but I'm just saying that it would be cool to learn something from him sometime... Learning from all sorts of people is something I should strive for... Okay, Kakashi one more time. I will pull it off this time!

    Yamato: Oh, he's getting back up on his feet.

    Kakashi: That's the spirit, let's try this again then.

    Jiraiya: Right! Here I go!

    Kakashi (In Thoughts): 'Hehe, he reminds me more of Naruto than he knows...'

    [...]

    ?: This is so unfair, Jiraiya always gets the best to help him!

    ?: Oh... you know, Gai sensei is actually the better of the two.

    Gai: Hahaha Lee, well at the moment I'm the one leading our never ending competition!

    Rock Lee: Really?! As expected from Gai sensei!

    ?: ...

    Rock Lee: And besides, I believe you will have more use of learning from Gai, being as Taijutsu is your specialty, while Jiraiya's specialty is Ninjutsu.

    Gai: I'm pretty sure your father is right there, Hiruzen...

    Hiruzen: Yeah I guess you're right dad. It's pretty cool that both the masters at the Ninjutsu and Taijutsu academies are available to train me and Jiraiya before the semi-finals. Now that I think about it, the only one missing now is Kurenai sensei.

    Rock Lee: Well son, I'm not sure if you would have much use for her training as Genjutsu isn't really your specialty. Besides, she's quite busy teaching at the Genjutsu academy these days.

    Hiruzen: Haha, you're right about that. Now can we please move on with the training?

    Gai: Yosh, you know what to do!

    Hiruzen: Right!

    In the background, some 100 yards away from where Jiraiya was training with Kakashi and Yamato, Hiruzen was also preparing for his upcoming match in the semi-final with Rock Lee and Gai. While Hiruzen was trying to learn a new move, Gai pulled Lee to the side.

    Rock Lee: What is it?

    Gai: Lee... There is something I've been meaning to ask you for sometime now...

    Rock Lee: It is?

    Gai: Yeah, there's a thing I've been meaning to pick up for some years now, but due to my job at the Taijutsu academy for the last three years, I haven't really had the time for it, and therefore I've been thinking about something...

    Rock Lee: Hmm... I see. So what did you have in mind?

    Gai: I was thinking of asking you if you wanted to take over for me for some years as I don't see anyone more fitting for the job than you.

    Rock Lee: What?! But... But... You're the best at what you do, I could never rival the great Gai Sensei!

    Gai: Ahahahaha, but of course, you have already surpassed me a long time ago! There wouldn't be anyone more fitting for the job than you, if not me.

    Stretching his thumb out in the classic Nice Guy pose, Lee couldn't do anything else than to accept.

    Rock Lee: Really?! You mean that? I've surpassed you?! Yooooosh!

    Fired up by those words, Lee, with a burning flame in his eyes, started delivering fists and kicks out in the air in excitement.

    Gai: Haha, that's the spirit!

    Hiruzen: Oh you want to show me how it's done? I can't let you beat me!

    Mistaking his dad for showing off, Hiruzen couldn't let the challenge down as he started spinning around, doing all sorts of weird attacks.

    Rock Lee: If you really want me to, I guess I have no choice than to accept!

    Gai: That's great news! Just what I wanted to hear!

    [...]

    ?: So... I guess this is it huh?

    ?: Yeah it sure is. Damn it all, I should have been the one to be there, not that shinobi from the cloud!

    ?: You really wanted to face Jiraiya in the final, didn't you Hiruzen?

    Hiruzen: Of course Mito! I just know I would have won if we met. Had I only been able to pull my final move in the semi final! Damn I was so stupid.

    Mito: Don't let it get too hard on you, he was a strong opponent. I'm not even sure if Jiraiya will be able to beat him.

    Hiruzen: Yeah I know, but I so disappointed everyone that believed in me, all that training with Gai sensei and my dad before the semi final for nothing...

    Mito: You shouldn't say that, everything you learn will be building blocks for what's to come later in life.

    Hiruzen: Yeah I guess you're right, let's go to our seats and get ready for the match.

    Mito: Alright.

    Some place higher up, the five kages were seated, ready for the final.

    Gaara: So, I guess we're all here then huh?

    Mei: Yep, you want to signal the battle to begin?

    Gaara: Sure thing, but it looks like that cloud shinobi hasn't entered the field yet...

    Mei: Maybe he's afraid to show up.

    Mockingly taunting bee to respond, she quickly turned to laughter.

    Mei: Haha, you know I'm just kidding with you.

    Killerbee: You better be, we shall wait and see.

    Gaara: Looks like he's entering the field right now, guess this is it Naruto... Excited?

    Naruto: ...

    Kitsuchi: I'm curious to see how your son will battle, he got pretty torn up in the semi final against that stone shinobi.

    Killerbee: You're right Kitsuchi, the battle was pretty neat, I really enjoyed my meat.

    Kitsuchi: The cloud shinobi had a tough battle as well, with that other Konoha kid, but I guess his victory was more clear than your son.

    Naruto: ...

    Seemingly having something on mind, Naruto didn't come up with an answer on none of the times he was asked about his son's previous battle and the one he's about to do. Whether it was because he was excited to see his son in the final or if it was because he didn't want to boast his son to win, was uncertain. But deep down inside, he was hoping with all his heart that Jiraiya would win.

    Gaara: Not much words in you today Naruto... I guess I should signal the battle to begin.

    Gaara rose from his chair, as the judge noticed and gave the signal for the battle to begin.

    [...]

    *Four Years Later*

    ?: I can't believe he did it, he managed to do it?!

    ?: You're surprised Hiruzen?

    Hiruzen: Well... I don't know, but either way, we both should have been able to get through this part of the Jonin exams Mito, if we ever got past the last one. It seems a lot easier than the previous rounds.

    Mito: Looks might deceive... Come, let's head down to congratulate him!

    Hiruzen: Right!

    Jiraiya: I did it... I can't believe I did it...

    Having just completed the final task of the jounin exam in Suna, where so many before him have failed, Jiraiya stood almost frozen in shock as Kakashi, Gai, Yamato, Hiruzen and Mito came running towards him.

    Jiraiya: He...hey what are you doing guys?

    The bunch of them grabbed him and started tossing him up into the air as Naruto, Gaara, Mei, Killerbee and Kitsuchi stood idle by in the background. Naruto had a smile upon his face like never before and you could tell by a mile that he was proud.

    Gaara: What did I tell you, I knew he could do it.

    Killerbee: Damn... He did indeed pull it off, I guess that was a bad scoff.

    Gaara: Haha, you shouldn't bet against the son of Naruto!

    Naruto: Hehe, he's my son alright.

    Mei: So... I guess this leaves us with the final decision? Having completed the final task, it's up to us to decide whether he will join the other 27 people we have passed today, the 43 people who failed on one of the previous tasks, or the 30 people we decided not to promote, even if they managed to pass the final task... So who's for and who's against?

    Gaara: I'm for letting him pass. He's obviously managed to complete all the tasks flawlessly, he's shown great leadership, willpower and strength, all needed to become Jonin... and most importantly, he's shown great comradeship towards his fellow shinobies.

    Kitsuchi: Hmmm... I'm still uncertain on this. He's obviously showed promise like you said, but he's still only 11. Although he turns twelve in three weeks, I still think it's a bit early... therefore I'm against.

    Naruto: ...

    Mei: I'm not really sure either. I would love to say yes, being that he's Naruto's son, but I don't think I can let feelings come before judgement. Therefore, I have to agree with Kitsuchi...

    Killerbee: I guess I will have to say yes, or else I won't fit my dress.

    Gaara: Then it's two for and two against... That leaves it up to Naruto himself to decide.

    Naruto: ...

    Mei: So? I know he's your son and all, and it puts you in a bad position having to decide it all, but you are a kage and regardless of relationship with the shinobi, you will have your say in this.

    Naruto: I...

    Looking how perplexed Naruto was with the matter, they all went silent for a bit. In the background, Jiraiya was still being tossed in the air as Naruto looked over at him. Their eyes met as Naruto began walking over to him. Kakashi and the rest put him down as Naruto went down to one knee beside him. He placed his hand on his shoulder as he passed on the final judgement.

    Naruto: Son... I know I haven't always been there for you when it comes to training, and I know that you feel that I'm always busy and that I don't spend enough time with you. I know that even if I'm Hokage, I shouldn't let that come in the way of being a father. Each time I've wanted to train with you, I've always ended up disappointing you because pressing matters called my attention away, and while I never wanted my job to come before my family, it's often turned out that way. I want to change that from now on. I want to be there and overlook your process. Being as you've come this far in both this exam, as well as the Chunin exam four years ago, I still managed to see you when you wanted me the most, and for that I'm grateful... I'm so proud of you my son, that I'm not even sure how to say it, and I know I've never really showed or told you that before. You've been improving since day one, and you never let my absent push you down or away from the tasks at hand. I might have appeared strict at times, but only to avoid spoiling you and letting you walk in my shadow... I want people to view you to be more than just my son. I want you to forge your own path, one that isn't decided on whether you are my son or not. Being born a genius or not doesn't matter, it's about using the abilities you got and train the best you can...

    He paused for a moment, as the rest of the kages walked up to him. They all stood silently by as they were patiently waiting for Naruto to give Jiraiya the answer they were waiting for. Naruto took a deep breath in as he continued.

    Naruto: ... Sigh... The final decision on whether or not to pass you to jonin has come down to me. As of now there are two for and two against.

    Jiraiya looked deep into Naruto's eyes, realizing the pressure that was on his dad right now.

    Jiraiya: Dad... Whatever you decide for, I won't be disappointed. If you won't let me pass yet, I'll just keep training until that day someday arrives and I'm ready for it!

    Seeing the spirit in the eyes of his son, Naruto eventually made up his final decision, one that he had in mind all the way since the beginning.

    Naruto: Even if you are my son, I won't let feelings come in the way of this decision, and therefore you will...

    Jiraiya: ...

    Naruto: Pass...

    It took a few seconds before everyone realized that Naruto had voted for Jiraiya to pass, making him a Jonin. And at the moment the rest realized, the silence broke and they all started applauding.

    Jiraiya: Really?!

    Excited and happy, but at the same time relieved on his father's decision, Jiraiya couldn't hold back any longer as he jumped right into his fathers arms. Surprised by this, Naruto fell over on his back as the rest started laughing.

    Gaara: Well I guess that settles it then.

    Mei: Yep... That's the last one for today too.

    Kitsuchi: I guess that leaves the rest of them for tomorrow, finally we can relax some.

    Killerbee: That speech was totally epic, even though it might have been a little stereotypic.

    Jiraiya: Dad, you're awesome!

    Naruto tried to get up, but the weight of his son was holding him down, as the two of them were laughing.

    Mito: I guess he passed... you know what this means right?

    Hiruzen: No, what?

    Mito: He will become the leader of our team... We no longer need Yamato sensei.

    Yamato: Hey, I heard that!

    Gai: Bwuahahaha...

    Hiruzen: What?! Are you serious? No way, I can't let Jiraiya be my leader!

    Finally having got back on his feet, Kakashi went over to Naruto and pushed him slightly with his hand.

    Naruto: Hey, what was that for?

    Kakashi leaned over to his ear and whispered into it.

    Kakashi: You should only have known how much alike you your son is. If his hair color was blonde, I wouldn't see the difference.

    Naruto: Haha, maybe you're right. Maybe you're right...

    [...]

    ?: Another day at the office, huh? And it looks like the sun has finally decided to wake up too.

    The sun was still rising outside the window, but the Hokage was already in his place, ready for a new day. This day was the first day it wasn't raining in four days, in much relief of the Hokage.

    Hokage: Yeah, and about time too. So are you guys ready for the task I have for you, like I briefly mentioned to you yesterday Mito?

    Mito: We sure are!

    ?: Yeah, you're the one to talk Mito, you didn't stay behind to look over the final procedures last night. Man, it took forever! I think the clock passed 2 am when I finally got home.

    Mito: Hiruzen... you always complain when you have to wake up early.

    Hiruzen: And you don't?

    Obviously tired from waking up early after a long night the day before, Hiruzen went on to ask about the task.

    Hiruzen: So what is it that you want us to do anyways? The fact that you specifically want the two of us for it, must means it's special.

    Hokage: Well yeah...

    *Three Minutes Later*

    Mito: Okay then, we'll report back in a few days then.

    Hiruzen: Yeah, see you later.

    As the two of them were just about to leave, another person stepped in. He was way smaller than Hiruzen and Mito, and judging by his appearances, he couldn't be too old. Blue eyes, blond spiky hair, and resembling none other then the 6th Hokage himself.

    ?: Hey dad! What are you doing?

    Hokage: Wait, you're up this early Minato?

    Minato: Yeah, I couldn't sleep anymore, besides, I promised mom I wouldn't sleep too long today as we have some things to prepare.

    Hokage: We sure have. You're not meeting up with your sensei today?

    Minato: No, you sent him on a mission, already forgot about that?

    Hokage: Huh?!... Oh yeah, that's right, how silly of me. So are you excited to see your aunt again?

    Minato: Yeah you bet! I rarely see her these days. I'm so glad you talked her into preparing her birthday party here, I would hate having to travel to Suna!

    Hokage: Oh why is that? Suna is a great place.

    Minato: Meh, too much sand for my liking. Besides, ever since I fought that sand shinobi in the chunin exam last year, I don't really like them.

    Hokage: Haha, but they're really nice actually.

    Minato: So when will she and Ebizö arrive anyways? And will Gaara come too?

    Hokage: Well it's only 8 am still, so they won't arrive before another seven hours. And no, I don't think Gaara is coming, but you might never know. Still, it's abnormal for a kage to travel to another town, just for a birthday party.

    Minato: I see.

    As the two of them were talking, a woman with black long hair and green eyes entered. She was a beauty that few could match.

    ?: Hey Minato, you forgot your money.

    Minato: Oh mom, thanks.

    Hokage: Miyuki, you're up now too?

    Miyuki: Of course, how did you think Minato got up? Besides, I couldn't sleep any longer when I notice you were absent from bed.

    Hokage: Well yeah, I had to wake up a little earlier today to take care of something.

    Miyuki: There's one thing I forgot to ask you yesterday. I see that you brought home a picture with you, and I was wondering who the other two in that picture were.

    Hokage: Oh, yeah I accidentally found it as I was about to leave for home yesterday. It's an old picture from when I won the chunin exam 24 years ago. The other two are the judge and the guy I beat.

    Minato: Really? You never told me you won the Chunin exam as well?!

    Hokage: Heh, where to do think you got that trait from eh? Your old man wasn't a push over back in the days you know.

    Minato: Humph, I thought I was the only one in the family to become chunin before the age of ten. I can't believe you became chunin at eight. Not acceptable!

    Hokage: Haha, don't worry about it, your grandfather didn't even become chunin nor jonin.

    Minato: What?! Then how did he become Hokage in the first place?

    Hokage: Well that's how great he was.

    Miyuki: Jiraiya, do you have much work today?

    Jiraiya: How come?

    Miyuki: Well I was thinking that the three of us could get the preparation for Kushina's birthday done early, so that we can enjoy the rest of the day before they arrive. Being locked up in this place isn't good for you. Besides, it's the first day in four days it's not raining. You should get out and enjoy the sun while it lasts.

    Jiraiya: Always caring about my health... That's one of the many reasons I love you so much.

    Jiraiya stood up from his chair as he went over to her and kissed her briefly, then he continued.

    Jiraiya: I think I can let the work rest for a day. Why don't the three of us go outside for a bit right now.

    Miyuki: That sounds great.

    Minato: Sure thing dad.

    The three of them walked out the door as Jiraiya slowly closed it behind him.

    ~ End Chapter 1


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Note After Reading: If you're by some reason confused with this chapter, be sure to re-read the note I posted on top of it. I also posted an analysis of this chapter at the end of post 8 in this thread. So if you didn't pay 100% attention and missed some parts, you can check it out for timeline prefix. Post 8
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 03-08-2012 at 12:22 AM. Reason: Fixed some grammar errors I noticed.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long got to the second line and releases how small the scroll bar was
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Nice but, your writing style isn't cutting it with me.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Awesome O_o
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    :whoa: its amazing and also enough 4 people likes who love long chapters:D i have read a lot of naruto ff on NB but 4 me your ff is best may be its coz of that my all fav charecters got a good role in your ff joking i like your writing style,your way of tell the story in detail and you also keep suspense by change the time line(of story) again and again
    But you know this time i really fall in confused:ghehe: you made a lot of time line changes in one chapter. Plus am also a bit confused with charecters now(specially with naruto's children's genration). Who is the current hokage?? Naruto or his son?? And which is the current time line of story??
    And why shouldnt you make a little thread in which you tell us about each charecter coz i'm really very confused that who is the son of whom?:ghehe:
    Btw i'm also waiting 4 the final fight of chapter 15. Hope you will show that too after few chapters and u skiped the whole fight/action of chunnin and jonin exam. I'm hoping that you will show that too in future
    You did a great job in this,keep it up
     
         
    Last edited by +Kyon+; 03-06-2012 at 06:04 AM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    so is this just a flash back or something or is this the sequal?... cuz you never really finished what happened between naruto sasuke and madara... i'm a lil confused...
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Dafuq ? For a brief moment there the advancement in time had me baffled O_o

    Anyways, great chapter. I liked the flash back, I didn't even notice it was a Flash back until it ended :sy:.

    Too damn lazy to compliment your work further I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

    And what ever happened to the Jiraiya Chronicles that you didn't start ? Did you drop it ? Can't blame you if you did.
     
         

  8. #8
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by I Am Pein View Post
    this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long got to the second line and releases how small the scroll bar was
    Too bad, I on the other hand hates writing chapters that only consist of ten sentences For me, it's about the quality, not the quantity of how many chapters you release.

    Quote Originally Posted by Miyuki Yukime View Post
    Nice but, your writing style isn't cutting it with me.
    Too bad, can't please everyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuki Cross View Post
    Awesome O_o
    Thanks Though it might be a bit hard to follow as it's a sequel to my previous work

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    :whoa: its amazing and also enough 4 people likes who love long chapters:D i have read a lot of naruto ff on NB but 4 me your ff is best may be its coz of that my all fav charecters got a good role in your ff joking i like your writing style,your way of tell the story in detail and you also keep suspense by change the time line(of story) again and again

    But you know this time i really fall in confused:ghehe: you made a lot of time line changes in one chapter. Plus am also a bit confused with charecters now(specially with naruto's children's genration). Who is the current hokage?? Naruto or his son?? And which is the current time line of story??
    And why shouldnt you make a little thread in which you tell us about each charecter coz i'm really very confused that who is the son of whom?:ghehe:
    Btw i'm also waiting 4 the final fight of chapter 15. Hope you will show that too after few chapters and u skiped the whole fight/action of chunnin and jonin exam. I'm hoping that you will show that too in future
    You did a great job in this,keep it up
    Yeah, I knew from the start that this would be a long one, but still nowhere near the biggest one I made in the original one

    Thanks, I did try to change a bit around on how I write, as I was damn tired of having a "Narrator:" before each describing sentence.

    It's pretty much black on white who the Hokage is as It's revealed in the final scene of this chapter. It's also stated who's the son of who. But I must admit I've worked on a family tree for this and it ended up pretty big. Maybe I'll post one someday later

    Like I said in the first note before the chapter itself begins. The fight from chapter 15 will be continued in chapter 3 of this sequel.

    Not only you had some questions about this chapter, so I made an analysis of this chapter below in my reply to Abysmal's post. Check it out

    Quote Originally Posted by C WET View Post
    so is this just a flash back or something or is this the sequal?... cuz you never really finished what happened between naruto sasuke and madara... i'm a lil confused...
    If you read the "Note before reading" you would have seen that I specifically said that the fight that chapter 15 ended with will be continued in chapter 3 of this sequel See below in my reply to Abysmal, as I've cleared it out for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Abysmal. View Post
    Dafuq ? For a brief moment there the advancement in time had me baffled O_o

    Anyways, great chapter. I liked the flash back, I didn't even notice it was a Flash back until it ended :sy:.

    Too damn lazy to compliment your work further I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

    And what ever happened to the Jiraiya Chronicles that you didn't start ? Did you drop it ? Can't blame you if you did.
    It's a little jumpy, but I specifically wanted it that way

    Haha, it's really all about paying notice to the scenes really and you should know where you are more or less. Check below for a deeper analysis of this chapter. Plus, the chapter is called Memory of The Past for a reason

    Good to hear

    Again, like I already mentioned to Kyon and wet, I've stated things that the three of you seemed to miss, in the "Note Before Reading" Above the chapter. Did you all just skip to reading the chapter? Read again, and you will see that I incorrporated the Jiraiya chronicles into the sequel


    Okay, let me do two things for you, Wet and Kyon.
    First of all, the note I posted on top of the chapter;


    "Note Before Reading: As most of you may have figured out already, or for those who are completely new to my work, this FanFiction is a Sequel to my previous one and therefore it's not a standalone work by me. Hence, for those who are new to my FanFiction, I suggest reading through my original/first one first, and for those who have followed my work ever since I started out back in 2010, you might want to freshen up on the story before settling out on this follow-up FanFiction.

    If your memory is phenomenal and you remember it all, you might just go ahead and begin reading the first chapter of the sequel, however, it's strongly recommended to read the three last chapters of the original (Chapter 13, 14 and 15) first, to freshen up on the latest events happening, as it's been over half a year since I released the final chapter of the original. Even I had trouble remembering it all, so before I began writing the first chapter of the sequel, I had to read through my whole FanFiction one more time. One other reason is that a lot of the names in the sequel won't be recognizable if you don't have a memory that's way above average. You might wonder about the beginning of this sequel as it doesn't pick up from where chapter 15 ended, right away. In fact, the fight that I ended my first FanFiction with, won't be continued before chapter 3. The reason for this is that I pretty much didn't want to start writing battle right away and I also felt that I wanted a fresh start. That's basically why this doesn't go on as Chapter 16, 17 and so on, but instead it starts out on Chapter 1. Plus, I also had ideas for two more Chronicles, beside the two I've already written about Sasuke and Kakashi, but I ended up dropping bigger parts of the ideas I had for them and ended up incorporating them into my sequel instead.That's about all I had to say, so I hope as many of my old readers will still follow my work, and new readers are always welcome."


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    About the time skips in this chapter. I've analyzed the chapter for those who were a bit confused about it:

    Well you can look at it this way, I divided up each scene with a "[...]" and the whole chapter was jumping a little back and forth at times, as I wanted to have as much in it as possible. That's one of the reason I said it could be a smart idea to re-read the first FanFiction that I made. This is a sequel to it, and I will base a lot of events and characters on it. Even fictional ones that I've made. The "current" time in this chapter occur at the beginning scene and the end scene, and all the characters in there are fictional. However they have all been mentioned throughout my work, so if you had it fresh in mind, you would know who they are.

    It first start out in present time. It's even revealed when that time is, and it definitely takes place in the future, some time after the end of chapter 15 . The reason for this is that at the end of the chapter in the ending scene, it's revealed that Jiraiya (Naruto's son) is Hokage. And Jiraiya even refers to Naruto when talking to Minato (whom is Jiraiya's son). Jiraiya said it's been 24 years since he became chunin, and he became chunin at the age of 8. That means he's 32 years old now. And it's been stated several times in the original FF that Naruto got Jiraiya when he was 20 years old, meaning Naruto is 52 in this timeline... if he's still alive.
    In the final part of the first scene, Jiraiya picks up a picture as he goes out the door.

    After the first scene, it jumps back in time. It's chunin exam and Jiraiya is in it. Gaara states Jiraiya's age in this scene, which is important to take notice of. He says Jiraiya is 8 years old. Meaning Naruto is 28 years old in this scene, which is 4 years prior to the events that takes place in my original 15 chapter-ed work as that event takes place 16 years after the 4th Great Ninja War and Naruto is 32 years old. So if Naruto is 32 years old in the events that takes place in my original FanFiction, then that means that the scene at the beginning and the scene at the end of this chapter takes place 20 years after chapter 15 - and it's the present time of this sequel

    The next scene jumps to Jiraiya and Hiruzen training for the semi finals, so it shouldn't be hard to keep up here. Then it jumps to the final, which Jiraiya is in, meaning he advanced from the semi final, while Hiruzen got eliminated.

    Then we make a jump to the jonin exams. It's stated by Kitsuchi that Jiraiya is 11 years old, and that he becomes 12 in three weeks. Meaning this scene takes place 4 years after the last. It is even stated that it's 4 years later in bold before the scene begins, so it's impossible to miss that part.

    If you re-read chapter two of the original, you would know that Jiraiya turns twelve in chapter one as it's his birthday. So the jonin exam flashback takes place three week before the start of the events in the original, while the chunin exam takes place 4 years before the start of the events in the original.
    This is what Shikamaru said in chapter 2 of The Legendary Sage of Konoha:
    "Shikamaru: So you think it was the right thing to do? I mean, it `s only four years ago since he became a Chunin. Don`t you think that it was a little too early promoting him to Jonin three weeks before he turned twelve?"

    Then, it jumps back to recent time, where the first scene of the chapter was. In the first scene it's said that it's been raining for 3 days, and that Hiruzen and Mito had been on a mission and that they had to report in the morning for a new task. In the final scene, you see them report to the Hokage for the new task as well as them commenting how the rain finally has stopped and the sun had come back. So by this you would know it's the same time these two scenes take place in.

    Oh and one more thing. The chapter is named "Memory of the past," so it's kind of clear that the scenes taking place in-between the first and last scene is in the past.

    To sum it all up: The main event of The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns takes place 20 years after the event of The Legendary Sage of Konoha, and the first and the last scene of this chapter is in present time, while the scenes in the middle is in the past, before the start of the original.
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 03-08-2012 at 09:36 PM. Reason: ...

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Again, why do you use this script-style?
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Zero Kelvin View Post
    Again, why do you use this script-style?
    Because I like it. I don't want it to sound just like reading a book, but more of a mix between the manga and the anime, without picture.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    So kitsuchi is not Sasuke? Who's kitsuchi
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Ballin Sasuke View Post
    So kitsuchi is not Sasuke? Who's kitsuchi
    What do you mean by he's not Sasuke? If you are referring to him being Tsuchikage and not Sasuke, then it's because this takes place prior to that.
    If you're wondering who he is in my FF, or in the Naruto universe in general, he's Onoki's successor and the 4th Tsuchikage in my FF, while Sasuke is the active 5th Tsuchikage later on.

    Kitsuchi
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Now i got the wh. .o. . ,o. .o.l story:D and i have only one word 4 u "mind blowing".

    YOU REALLY DID A VERY VERY GREAT JOB ON YOUR FF. and i'm hoping that whole konoha 12(naruto's gen)still alive
    Thanks a lot 4 give your time and make everything clear 4 us
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    One word , Amazing , I never expected you to go that far in to the future , it was amazing , great job , I hope one day you become a writter my friend
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    Now i got the wh. .o. . ,o. .o.l story:D and i have only one word 4 u "mind blowing".

    YOU REALLY DID A VERY VERY GREAT JOB ON YOUR FF. and i'm hoping that whole konoha 12(naruto's gen)still alive
    Thanks a lot 4 give your time and make everything clear 4 us
    Thank you so much!:D I felt like I had to dedicate sometime in clearling it up for those who were a bit confused. So I added in a "note after reading" part below the chapter, where I, among other things, added a link to the post where I analyzed the chapter for you

    I hope you're not just saying that and that you actually got what I meant when I tried my best to sum things up in that post

    Quote Originally Posted by zempty View Post
    One word , Amazing , I never expected you to go that far in to the future , it was amazing , great job , I hope one day you become a writter my friend
    Hehe, you're not the first one to tell me that:D Who knows what the future will bring
    It's a little fun to think how far into the future I've gone, but my main goal with this sequel is to get the Naruto - Jiraiya feeling from the manga, recreated with Naruto and his son, and Jiraiya (Naruto's son) and his son Minato.
    I'm planing on jumping even further into the future later on
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Despite what some may think, I actually love the longer chapters because it's more to read, which is odd for me to type as you know I hate reading anything but your FF's have me hooked and the writing style is great as well.

    Although as I am a big grammar police in my head, it did have a few tiny grammar mistakes but nothing big, just wanted to point that out so it didn't seem like I was being a fanboy of your FF's haha.

    Anyways great way to start out a new series of chapters, as always will definitely be eager to read the next release from you.
     
         
    Last edited by Dratasy; 03-07-2012 at 06:08 PM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Dratasy View Post
    Despite what some may think, I actually love the longer chapters because it's more to read, which is odd for me to type as you know I hate reading anything but your FF's have me hooked and the writing style is great as well.

    Although as I am a big grammar police in my head, it did have a few tiny grammar mistakes but nothing big, just wanted to point that out so it didn't seem like I was being a fanboy of your FF's haha.

    Anyways great way to start out a new series of chapters, as always will definitely be eager to read the next release from you.
    Yeah, I'm not really a fan of quantity of how many chapters one make, but either the quality of each chapter, regardless of length. Good to hear, as I believe that one of the key elements to longer chapters need to be that you're able to keep the reader interested, so that he don't get tired of reading halfway through, which is always a danger when the whole chapter is just talk and no fighting.

    Oh really? I have an English Firefox browser with auto correcting dictionary to fix all the words that are written wrong. The only thing I'm able to miss out on is using wrong words like "tree" when I want to use "Three." However, I always make sure to read through it once or twice to get those mistakes out. I can honesty don't say that I can spot any more errors in this chapter, but due to English not being my mother tongue, I might have missed some.
    Please do tell me so that I can change/fix the grammar errors you've spotted, while I still have the edit option available. Would be appreciated

    Thanks, I'm looking forward to releasing something new next week
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Yeah, I'm not really a fan of quantity of how many chapters one make, but either the quality of each chapter, regardless of length. Good to hear, as I believe that one of the key elements to longer chapters need to be that you're able to keep the reader interested, so that he don't get tired of reading halfway through, which is always a danger when the whole chapter is just talk and no fighting.

    Oh really? I have an English Firefox browser with auto correcting dictionary to fix all the words that are written wrong. The only thing I'm able to miss out on is using wrong words like "tree" when I want to use "Three." However, I always make sure to read through it once or twice to get those mistakes out. I can honesty don't say that I can spot any more errors in this chapter, but due to English not being my mother tongue, I might have missed some.
    Please do tell me so that I can change/fix the grammar errors you've spotted, while I still have the edit option available. Would be appreciated

    Thanks, I'm looking forward to releasing something new next week
    Well it was mostly just stuff that needed to be made plural or words like "Your" and "You're", I'll write in bold what errors I see with a quick proof read.

    Bold/Strikeout will be where an error is, underline will be the fix, parenthesis will be additional notes on it.
    __________________________

    ?: I don't really get why you enjoy this so much, it's not like it's the best food in the world, Naruto... You should have tasted the food we have back home in Kumo, there I could eat an a whole sumo!

    Kitsuchi: She's preparing for the semi finals semi-finals of the Chunin exams to begin, I think. (It's commonly known to be typed with the "-" in it, which is typed a lot throughout the chapter, but I'm sure it's fine without it, just thought I'd point that out however)

    Gaara: So the ("if" should be added between those two words) two Konoha shinobies is are not to face each other... maybe there's a chance for the two of them facing off in the final? Being that the chunin exams are held in Konoha this time, I guess that would be favorable

    Gaara: Well I believe he will go all the way... The promise he's shown so far is quite impressive. If he would become Chunin on at this age, it would be phenomenal.


    Naruto: You got to remember that there have been people who has become chunin at even younger age (There are two ways to fix this, one is to add "an" between "at __ even" or add a "s" at the end of "age") than what Jiraiya is now... Kakashi became chunin at the age of six.

    Kakashi: Even if you have the affinity for lightning element, doesn't that that doesn't (Just a simple switch, common accidental mistake when typing) mean you will be able to learn Chidori... not in three days at least.

    Jiraiya: I know... But that won't matter, I need to do this now. Ever since I graduated two years ago, I've steadily learned new stuff in no time. I(You forgot to add that, at the start) even beat Hiruzen in learning the shadow clone jutsu first!

    Kakashi: Yeah, but not everything you learn will be mastered in the same amount of time. Like now, you're still only able to do about ten shadow clones at maximum, but in a few years time, you will probably be able to pull of off a thousand like your father, or it might end up on 100 like me, you never know. Although you have a great advantage with your chakra supply.

    Yamato: Also remember that you should be glad you're even being taught this technique to begin with, as it's quite rare to learn such an advanced technique at your age. It's especially because you are Naruto's son, and that's why we believe that if anyone should be able to do it at this age, it's you. You should be more grateful for things in your life. At least people looks look up to you and expects expect you to deliver. It wasn't always the same for Naruto... Quite the opposite really. (Added extra s' on accident)

    Kakashi: That's true, plus you're even getting both me mine and Yamato's guidance for this, not many people can boast having that help. Hiruzen has to be satisfied with Lee and Gai's help, and even that's not something everyone get gets.

    Jiraiya: Yeah I know, he's the Hokage and he's busy, but it would have been nice to train with him for once. Get to learn something from my dad, you know. Besides, you two and Gai have always been there for me, Hiruzen and Mito Hiruzen, Mito, and I, even before we graduated from the academy. So it would have been nice to actually train with my dad once in awhile. Even now with the new school system my dad, Shikamaru and Tsunade came up with, having three different academies beside training with a sensei and going out on missions, that further helps us find out and tune our skills in Genjutsu, Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, I still feel that I can't get enough experience fast enough. (When referring to yourself, if you include other names with it, "Me and (other names here)" is not the proper way to go about it, "Me, (name), and (name)" is not proper either, it should always be "(name) and I" or "(name), (name), and I")

    Kakashi: Well I understand that, but being patient is sometime sometimes all that it takes.

    Yamato: Beside Besides, Kakashi is usually busy at the Ninjutsu academy, while Gai is busy at the Taijutsu academy, so getting the chance to train with him now is more than anyone could ask for really. Him and Gai are the two highest ranking shinobies in this village beside the Hokage, with their own rank, even rivaling the three legendary sannins!

    Mito: You shouldn't say that, everything you learn will be building blocks for what what's to come later in life.

    Gaara: Sure thing, but it looks like that cloud shinobi haven't hasn't entered the field yet...

    Kakashi: You should only have known how much alike you your son is. If his hair color was blond blonde, I wouldn't see the difference.

    Naruto: Haha, maybe your you're right. Maybe your you're right...

    Hiruzen: So what is it that you want us to do anyways? The fact that you specifically wants want the two of us for it, must means it's special.

    Miyuki: There's one thing I forgot to ask you yesterday. I see that you brought home a picture with you, and I was wondering who the other two in that picture was were.
    ____________________

    I noticed a mistake where you wrote "too" and it needed to be "to", also a few more of the "beside" needing to be "besides", just got lazy and didn't want to include them haha. Anyways like I said there weren't many huge mistakes, just tiny ones I noticed while reading.

    Also when I pointed it out I hope you didn't take it as an insult, I was just adding a bit of humor to my comment, enjoyed reading it for a second time even if it was to list where errors were, great story as always. The writing style is easy to follow and makes it more interesting, as well as the creativity in storyline you always add, makes me feel I'm actually reading a real Naruto Manga chapter. So once again, great work and welcome back to writing buddy :D
     
         
    Last edited by Dratasy; 03-07-2012 at 08:56 PM.

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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Dratasy View Post
    Well it was mostly just stuff that needed to be made plural or words like "Your" and "You're", I'll write in bold what errors I see with a quick proof read.

    Bold/Strikeout will be where an error is, underline will be the fix, parenthesis will be additional notes on it.
    __________________________

    ?: I don't really get why you enjoy this so much, it's not like it's the best food in the world, Naruto... You should have tasted the food we have back home in Kumo, there I could eat an a whole sumo!

    Kitsuchi: She's preparing for the semi finals semi-finals of the Chunin exams to begin, I think. (It's commonly known to be typed with the "-" in it, which is typed a lot throughout the chapter, but I'm sure it's fine without it, just thought I'd point that out however)

    Gaara: So the ("if" should be added between those two words) two Konoha shinobies is are not to face each other... maybe there's a chance for the two of them facing off in the final? Being that the chunin exams are held in Konoha this time, I guess that would be favorable

    Gaara: Well I believe he will go all the way... The promise he's shown so far is quite impressive. If he would become Chunin on at this age, it would be phenomenal.


    Naruto: You got to remember that there have been people who has become chunin at even younger age (There are two ways to fix this, one is to add "an" between "at __ even" or add a "s" at the end of "age") than what Jiraiya is now... Kakashi became chunin at the age of six.

    Kakashi: Even if you have the affinity for lightning element, doesn't that that doesn't (Just a simple switch, common accidental mistake when typing) mean you will be able to learn Chidori... not in three days at least.

    Jiraiya: I know... But that won't matter, I need to do this now. Ever since I graduated two years ago, I've steadily learned new stuff in no time. I(You forgot to add that, at the start) even beat Hiruzen in learning the shadow clone jutsu first!

    Kakashi: Yeah, but not everything you learn will be mastered in the same amount of time. Like now, you're still only able to do about ten shadow clones at maximum, but in a few years time, you will probably be able to pull of off a thousand like your father, or it might end up on 100 like me, you never know. Although you have a great advantage with your chakra supply.

    Yamato: Also remember that you should be glad you're even being taught this technique to begin with, as it's quite rare to learn such an advanced technique at your age. It's especially because you are Naruto's son, and that's why we believe that if anyone should be able to do it at this age, it's you. You should be more grateful for things in your life. At least people looks look up to you and expects expect you to deliver. It wasn't always the same for Naruto... Quite the opposite really. (Added extra s' on accident)

    Kakashi: That's true, plus you're even getting both me mine and Yamato's guidance for this, not many people can boast having that help. Hiruzen has to be satisfied with Lee and Gai's help, and even that's not something everyone get gets.

    Jiraiya: Yeah I know, he's the Hokage and he's busy, but it would have been nice to train with him for once. Get to learn something from my dad, you know. Besides, you two and Gai have always been there for me, Hiruzen and Mito Hiruzen, Mito, and I, even before we graduated from the academy. So it would have been nice to actually train with my dad once in awhile. Even now with the new school system my dad, Shikamaru and Tsunade came up with, having three different academies beside training with a sensei and going out on missions, that further helps us find out and tune our skills in Genjutsu, Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, I still feel that I can't get enough experience fast enough. (When referring to yourself, if you include other names with it, "Me and (other names here)" is not the proper way to go about it, "Me, (name), and (name)" is not proper either, it should always be "(name) and I" or "(name), (name), and I")

    Kakashi: Well I understand that, but being patient is sometime sometimes all that it takes.

    Yamato: Beside Besides, Kakashi is usually busy at the Ninjutsu academy, while Gai is busy at the Taijutsu academy, so getting the chance to train with him now is more than anyone could ask for really. Him and Gai are the two highest ranking shinobies in this village beside the Hokage, with their own rank, even rivaling the three legendary sannins!

    Mito: You shouldn't say that, everything you learn will be building blocks for what what's to come later in life.

    Gaara: Sure thing, but it looks like that cloud shinobi haven't hasn't entered the field yet...

    Kakashi: You should only have known how much alike you your son is. If his hair color was blond blonde, I wouldn't see the difference.

    Naruto: Haha, maybe your you're right. Maybe your you're right...

    Hiruzen: So what is it that you want us to do anyways? The fact that you specifically wants want the two of us for it, must means it's special.

    Miyuki: There's one thing I forgot to ask you yesterday. I see that you brought home a picture with you, and I was wondering who the other two in that picture was were.
    ____________________

    I noticed a mistake where you wrote "too" and it needed to be "to", also a few more of the "beside" needing to be "besides", just got lazy and didn't want to include them haha. Anyways like I said there weren't many huge mistakes, just tiny ones I noticed while reading.

    Also when I pointed it out I hope you didn't take it as an insult, I was just adding a bit of humor to my comment, enjoyed reading it for a second time even if it was to list where errors were, great story as always. The writing style is easy to follow and makes it more interesting, as well as the creativity in storyline you always add, makes me feel I'm actually reading a real Naruto Manga chapter. So once again, great work and welcome back to writing buddy :D
    Thank you so much my friend. There's always some silly mistakes to appear, even if I know it's wrong. Especially "to-too" and "beside-besides"
    If I hadn't paid attention, it would probably have been even more of them

    There's two occasions where I did my own twist though. The place you said to put "if" between, I put "Since" instead, as It's not a matter of if they are going to meet, but it because since they are not going to meet.

    "So since the" instead of "So If the".

    Second. Instead of "mine" and Gai's guidance, I chose "my own" and Gai's...

    Again, thanks for the heads up as I've corrected the mistakes. With long walls like these, mistakes are bound to happen, but luckily it hasn't been too major ones.

    And of course, I don't take any offense at all, quite the opposite actually
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 03-07-2012 at 09:58 PM.

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Thank you so much my friend. There's always some silly mistakes to appear, even if I know it's wrong. Especially "to-too" and "beside-besides"
    If I hadn't paid attention, it would probably have been even more of them

    There's two occasions where I did my own twist though. The place you said to put "if" between, I put "Since" instead, as It's not a matter of if they are going to meet, but it because since they are not going to meet.

    "So since the" instead of "So If the".

    Second. Instead of "mine" and Gai's guidance, I chose "my own" and Gai's...

    Again, thanks for the heads up as I've corrected the mistakes. With long walls like these, mistakes are bound to happen, but luckily it hasn't been too major ones.

    And of course, I don't take any offense at all, quite the opposite actually
    Anytime friend, and yeah the "to" "too" can get tricky sometimes if you don't pay full attention when typing it haha, I mess up sometimes with it as well, and yep those will work too instead of "if" and "mine".

    Glad I was of some assistance
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Dratasy View Post
    Anytime friend, and yeah the "to" "too" can get tricky sometimes if you don't pay full attention when typing it haha, I mess up sometimes with it as well, and yep those will work too instead of "if" and "mine".

    Glad I was of some assistance
    Mhm. Used "control F" and searched through the whole of the chapter for to-too and beside-besides... All of the them should be corrected now, even though I only found two places where it was suppose to be "to" and not "too" and one place where it was suppose to be "besides" and not "beside." The rest of the "Beside" should be correct now

    Thanks again.

    One thing though, being as you've proof read through my chapter one more time, I'm a bit surprised that no one has spotted the major "spoiler" in this chapter yet Guess I just will have to wait and see if anyone else will spot it later on
     
         

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    Member from dem time deh! ~Marhuto~'s Avatar
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    I really enjoyed it. I grasped the time lines perfectly... I LOVED IT.. waiting for the other one now.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Mhm. Used "control F" and searched through the whole of the chapter for to-too and beside-besides... All of the them should be corrected now, even though I only found two places where it was suppose to be "to" and not "too" and one place where it was suppose to be "besides" and not "beside." The rest of the "Beside" should be correct now

    Thanks again.

    One thing though, being as you've proof read through my chapter one more time, I'm a bit surprised that no one has spotted the major "spoiler" in this chapter yet Guess I just will have to wait and see if anyone else will spot it later on
    Was no trouble at all, and haha yeah I spotted the spoiler, not sure if anyone else did though
     
         

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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by marhuto View Post
    I really enjoyed it. I grasped the time lines perfectly... I LOVED IT.. waiting for the other one now.
    Finally:D Good to hear that someone points out that they grasped the timeline perfectly... I was beginning to get worried if it was a bit confusing after I had to clear it up in one of my posts at page 1, after some requests

    Thanks for reading, and it won't be too long until the next one

    Quote Originally Posted by Dratasy View Post
    Was no trouble at all, and haha yeah I spotted the spoiler, not sure if anyone else did though
    Oh, did you now? You want to tell me what the "spoiler" is? o__O
    It's not so much of a spoiler as it's only something that has been revealed in this chapter, that actually is pretty mind-blowing, but that no one has commented yet You can say it's a spoiler of what to come after the events of the fight between Naruto, Sasuke and Tobi/Madara, being as the "current" timeline in this chapter takes place 20 years after the events of the original.
     
         

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    Re: The Legendary Sage of Konoha Returns, Chapter 1

    seems like a work of art. I will start reading your previous FF but since it's too long I'll do it sometime later.
     
         

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