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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    CHAPTER 10 – Headmistress Hermione!

    The tumultuous journey was finally seeing an end to it as the sun was already sinking behind the Forbidden Forest; as the branches of the Whomping Willow crouched down as a sign of tiredness. Tiredness was not the only thing on the mind of Hermione as she was more focusing on her speech. Anxiety and nervousness were also clearly depicted on her face. After all, that was going to be the first time where she’s going to address Hogwarts’ students after dinner.

    Ron: Don’t worry about it too much. It’s not now that you’d fall short. You’ve faced much greater dangers than that. We’re the Legendary Team who kicked the Dark Lord’s ass.

    In those 19 years, fact remains that Ron always took pride in being a major part to defeat Lord Voldemort and this feeling was definitely not unexpressed or shunned; whether at home or at his Ministry’s job.

    Hermione: Um….yeah.

    Hermione barely replied to Ron as she was still plunged into her speech when the bell rang – indicating the students to gather in the Great Hall for dinner.

    Ron: I’ll get to the Great Hall. Don’t be late.

    His small jab was met with a resentful glare by Hermione as he took the stairs.

    ***

    Meanwhile, while most students were rushing into the Hall, a gloomy little blond lad was getting consoled.

    Rose: Come on, we should get inside now, Scorpius.

    Scorpius: I still can’t dwell the fact that those ninjas are going to stay here still. And here I thought, Slughorn was a true Slytherin…

    Rose: Well, I understand your feelings and I know you’re tensed that your mother…

    Scorpius: Don’t speak of my mother. That’s our issue. A Malfoy issue!

    Rose nonetheless put her caring hand on Scorpius’s shoulders but the moment was short-lived; as Scorpius recklessly stood up and went alone in the Hall. Rose was going to follow him when she noticed her Dad and coyly entered the Hall too but towards the Gryffindor table.

    ***

    The dinner was served moments later. The classy house-elves – dressed in waiter robes and shawls of the four different Houses – gathered at the front of all tables and clapped their hands. A real feast appeared on all tables. Everyone was quickly stuffing themselves with everything they got underhand and soon under their mouth.

    Ron: Since when were house-elves on the front-line to serve food?

    Hermione: Since I took charge. You really think I would have let that ‘slavery’ be pursued?

    Ron didn’t really tried to argue especially since the steak, in front of him, seemed delicious and he took a fork rapidly. On the Gryffindor table, Albus, with mashed potatoes in his mouth, slowly viewed the Professors’ table. The table was extended today specially for the ninjas; out of which Naruto was obviously the most glared. First for his early duel and secondly, thanks to his unique appetite and way of stuffing himself on table. Albus smiled upon that as he was noticing how Naruto was getting scolded by Sakura for grossly eating a whole chicken. He then turned his attention to his father who slowly was eating his steak. A definite pride was seen in his eyes. He glimpsed towards James and Rose to see if there was a reciprocate feeling in their hearts too but James was more concentrated on the exquisite feast while Rose was giving desperate sweet eyes towards Scorpius’s direction.

    *Half an hour later*


    Hermione: May I have your attention please?

    Most of the students listened immediately and some were forced as the feast was quickly disappearing from the table; courtesy of the elves.

    Hermione: As you all know, the last days were pretty boisterous for diverse reasons. Hence, this is my first time addressing to you all as the New Headmistress of Hogwarts. As you all know by now, there’s quite a big panic going on in the outside, and following an “incident”, Hogwarts is now on Level 2. This upraise of precaution will have numerous boundaries set over you till the matter is cleared. Also, for further precaution, Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic decided to reinstate the Defense Against Dark Arts post and I’d like you to all warmly welcome the new Professor in this post – Harry Potter!

    The welcoming for the ‘Hero’ was more of a roaring one but it was definitely pleasant one. Harry made a courteous weave to everyone and was pretty embarrassed by this.

    Hermione: …Continuing over our new staff addition, there’ll be special classes held this year for all years for a “new type of magic”. And I’d like you all to give all your whole-hearted support to Naruto and his crew for their enriching classes.

    Naruto stood up and rose up his fist.

    Naruto: We’ll have a great time together, dattebayo!

    Lee: Woah, such enthusiasm from these students. I can feel the Power of Yout…

    Sakura hit both on their heads.

    Sakura: Be more ‘civilized’, would you?

    Naruto: Ouch, Sakura-chan! Sincerely, I think your hands need civilizing lessons more than me.

    Shikamaru: Oh well…

    Kakashi: We hope that our bonds will strengthen in the upcoming days and hope, we’ll all enjoy each others’ company.

    On this note, a warmful cheer was heard. The applause was definitely a much quieter one than Harry’s; though it was not such a depressive one as Naruto convinced many over his early battle with Slughorn today.

    Hermione: Finally, I’ll end up on a third great news. Hogwarts will have the honor and pleasure to host the Triwizard Goblet of Fire Tournament. Late Professor McGonagall has been working hard on the re-establishment of the event and I’m glad that despite the on-goings tensions, we’ll be hosting the event as in accordance. The event will start in one week – a decision made after consideration. For those who don’t know, the Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. Though an annual event at that time, the tournament got shelved due to an alarming death toll in it. 22 years ago, an attempt at reviving the tournament was made but after a chaotic ending, the tournament was again discontinued.

    Though, there was a definite excitement in most students, the last part of the announcement almost gave a feeling that tournament was kinda jinxed. Harry had a sudden thought for Cédric upon Hermione’s speech. Hermione took a deep breath before joyfully continuing her speech.

    Hermione: However, everyone involved in the restoration of this event; along with departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports worked really hard and are hopeful and confident that the tournament will be a very endearing one this time around. I’m sure that all of you will cooperate happily with this event and be even more cordial and pleasant with our foreign guests, the students of both Beauxbatons and Durmstrang who’ll arrive in 4 days. Still, we’ve kept the rule that was imposed 22 years ago; that is, only the students having 17 years or older will be allowed to take part in the Tournament.

    Before an evident uproar was about to be raise thank to the age-limit, Hermione decided to end her speech.

    Hermione: Your respective Headmasters will provide you a new updated syllabus on your upcoming classes in the morning. And more information on the Triwizard tournament will also be given to you in some days. Goodnight everyone!

    Once the speech was over, a sudden big mutter was easily being heard while most of the students began swarming together to reach the Entrance door. For the most rebellious ones who tried to stay, to further question Hermione on the tournament, were rather chased off by Peeves and his unique cringing voice. Hermione pushed a heave of relief as her first speech was done.

    Harry: Brilliant job as always, Hermione.

    Ron: Yes, you were marvelous. Chill out a bit now.

    She smiled back to Harry. Harry was perhaps always the quickest when it came to encourage or congratulate her. He was always the one who took the first initiative; too often at the expense of Ron.

    Hermione: Thanks.

    As she was beginning to leave with the three, Krum - who was sitting to the furthest left - interrupted them.

    Krum: Erm, Her-myowny, will you mind if I accompany you all back to the office?

    Hermione: Well...

    Harry: I'm going to talk to Neville’s office first. I need to ask him something. Ron, will you...?

    Ron: I'm staying with Hermione!

    His reply was so forceful and stern that there was no point to argue further.

    Hermione: Okay then...Come Krum

    Harry went in the opposite direction to join Neville who was also leaving with the other Professors. As for Naruto and the other ninjas, they went to the outside in the constructed house by Yamato while, Krum incrusted himself between Hermione and Ron.

    Krum: You were very good with your speech.

    Hermione: Thank you.

    She blushed a little; a reaction which became reflex whenever she was with Krum.

    Krum: I wanted to ask you why you took the decision to forward the tournament that fast. The tournament inauguration was going to be in 3 weeks and it’s now down to a single week. I agreed to it; only because you gave green lights to it but still...

    Hermione: I know but I couldn't do otherwise. I needed to rush the tournament so as to show everyone that Hogwarts is safe enough. After the panic in recent weeks, it was the best way to maintain cohesion of students and assure them and their parents of their security. But I couldn't wait for 3 weeks for that. I had to be something more immediate...

    Krum: I understand your position but such a rush for the tournament. You know the honor of the 3 most prestigious schools are on stake with the Goblet of Fire Triwizard Tournament and this is…

    Hermione: I understand but like I said, it was this or nothing.

    Krum felt a bit out of argument as Hermione was nearing her office.

    Krum: Uh, I...

    Hermione: I think this corridor will lead you towards your room. Have a good night, Krum.

    It was the first time ever that Hermione replied to Krum so coldly; something Ron could almost jubilate to.

    Krum: Yeah...Good night Hermy-owny. You too.

    Ron: Yea yea, good night.

    Krum left Ron and Hermione who reached soon towards the stone gargoyle.

    Ron: I liked how you pushed that “Russian Irritator” away.

    Hermione: I don't know why but ever since he came here, he seems desperate to know our situation. I really don't want to divulge anything to him though. Besides...

    They stepped onto the spiral stairs that began moving upwards.

    Hermione: ...this matter needs to be solved soon and in fact, 3 weeks or 1 week didn't matter really to me. I accepted to host this tournament only because this was the best way to capture Kabuto out the fastest. And the faster the tournament, the faster the bait will be laid…

    She put her silky long Headmistress coat on a golden rack as she went leaning on the couch.

    Ron: You really want that Kabuto to be captured?

    Hermione didn’t reply immediately…

    Hermione: It’s my priority right now.

    She said that in a sobbed voice though.

    Ron: Hey, why are you crying? Don’t worry; we don’t even know if that guy will keep creating such chaos either…

    Hermione: It’s not him which I’m afraid of – it’s of You-Know-Who! I don’t want to live the same hell as 19 years earlier. Who knows what may result again…?

    Ron began caressing her hair softly.

    Ron: I never knew you were so afraid of Voldemort.

    Hermione: It’s not the fear of him but the fear to relive the sadness we went through. We lost so many friends in that battle. Due to him, I’m an orphan despite having my parents. Do you know how this feels?

    Ron: …

    She began crying more. Ron never realized it before but Hermione was definitely more affected by the events of 19 years earlier. Even if Ron also lost George in the battle, it must definitely be a cruel fate for Hermione. She has parents who don’t know her or their children. Now that he thinks of it, he never had any in-laws relationships.

    Ron slowly leaned nearby her and he kissed her on her eyes and forehead as she closed her wet eyes with a hopeful smile. A smile that Ron hoped will not fade in the upcoming days…


    ~END OF CHAPTER~


    Next Chapter Entitled: The 3 Champions


    Well, it's been some time but it's due to some real life issues/problems. Moving on, I know that this chapter was very wizard-centric with lots of talks and thus, many of you may feel a tad disappointed. I understand that; though I must add this was one of my hardest chapter that I've wrote. The next 2 chapters will also be mostly build-ups courtesy of the GOF build-up. Don't worry, battles will overflow soon after that. Speaking of next chapters, I'm going to try to write those build-up chapters as soon as possible. By consequence, there might be a quick release in the upcoming week. Stay tuned and hope you liked it nevertheless.
     
         
    Last edited by Escorpiius; 03-04-2012 at 07:17 PM.

  2. #2
    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    No way!!!! Look who has delivered

    I'll post a review as soon as I've read it ^^
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    No way!!!! Look who has delivered

    I'll post a review as soon as I've read it ^^
    Hehe yeah >.>

    Obviously xD I must say it feels nice to post a chapter after you've already catch up lol

    ---

    Also, to all readers, CnC is still appreciated As an FF writer, I mostly write to get your insight.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Been waiting a while for this... after i get a chance (very soon) to read i'll post again
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Only talk no jutsu no action,no naruto
    But goblet of fire:crazy::overjoy: i hope i'll see a lot of action and ninja in next chapters
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by marhuto View Post
    Been waiting a while for this... after i get a chance (very soon) to read i'll post again
    Sure. Hope you like it.

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    Only talk no jutsu no action,no naruto
    But goblet of fire:crazy::overjoy: i hope i'll see a lot of action and ninja in next chapters
    I know I know
    As I said at the bottom, the next 2 chapters will focus on GOF; afterwards I'll guess there'll be pretty interesting things for you.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    awesonme, inform me whenever you release new ones
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Its really good but i cant wait to see the next chapters especially when the battle starts , please inform me when you finish the next one
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Even though it was more about on the magic side... I loved it. So i'm now suspicious of Krum; he wants to know too much. Eh... the Malfoys will never change uhh?
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    It has been awhile since your last release indeed I had to scan the ending of the last chapter to remember what happened as my memory is horrific -_- I was definitely not disappointed and I find it extremely difficult for anyone to be disappointed in the least as your chapters are simply magnificent. Especially after a several month hiatus-you make an epic comeback! The expressions and progression is done flawlessly and I only wish that I can become as professional sounding as you. I’ve only read one Harry Potter novel-the final if you remember and again your chapter seemed as though something J.K. Rowling released You blow my mind with each release as you raise the bar sort of speak with the level of writing. There was simply nothing I could critique lol I loved again the interactions with the characters especially the Hermione/Ron/Krum triangle Your story seems like it has a long way to go before you’re finished which is great! So many twists and turns I could imagine and am looking forward to as always. and am looking forward to as always.
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by pradattauchiha View Post
    awesonme, inform me whenever you release new ones
    Thanks and sure, from now now on, I'll link you every new releases

    Quote Originally Posted by JirayiaRIPforever View Post
    Its really good but i cant wait to see the next chapters especially when the battle starts , please inform me when you finish the next one
    Yeah, I'll link you with all new releases and thanks again

    Quote Originally Posted by marhuto View Post
    Even though it was more about on the magic side... I loved it. So i'm now suspicious of Krum; he wants to know too much. Eh... the Malfoys will never change uhh?
    I'm glad you did. I know I limited the scope of appreciation for many by making it very wizard-centric (especially on a Naruto forum) but I'm elated to see some loving it nonetheless.

    For Krum, well...I won't say much.
    And for Malfoys, well, there are things that changed in Scorpius but I guess, many things were also inherited by blood

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post
    It has been awhile since your last release indeed I had to scan the ending of the last chapter to remember what happened as my memory is horrific -_- I was definitely not disappointed and I find it extremely difficult for anyone to be disappointed in the least as your chapters are simply magnificent. Especially after a several month hiatus-you make an epic comeback! The expressions and progression is done flawlessly and I only wish that I can become as professional sounding as you. I’ve only read one Harry Potter novel-the final if you remember and again your chapter seemed as though something J.K. Rowling released You blow my mind with each release as you raise the bar sort of speak with the level of writing. There was simply nothing I could critique lol I loved again the interactions with the characters especially the Hermione/Ron/Krum triangle Your story seems like it has a long way to go before you’re finished which is great! So many twists and turns I could imagine and am looking forward to as always. and am looking forward to as always.
    Don't worry, that's something common to check back on previous work to re-freshen memory. I also do it but I'd like to re-excuse myself for such a late release.

    Thanks for all the kind words; though I think it was far from flawless and far far Rowling's level obviously. But getting such praises from another great writer always make me feel like I did not do a horrendous job. This chapter was hard for me because it required loads of description. And scenic description was always something that made uneasy to write. It always seem to me that I messed it up and this chapter required lots of it. So, it was a risky challenge. For you to say that you couldn't critique anything, gives me much relief.

    Well, this chapter was also like a Special Hermione chapter and since Krum and Ron and Harry are 3 major characters around her, I'm happy to see that you love the interactions.

    Unfortunately, I kinda planned it to be a long story but little did I know that life would become so overcharged with stuffs that writing time will be seriously compromised. Hopefully, most of what will follow won't disappoint you and again, thanks for everything.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Can ypu please link to previous chaps
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Link to Chapter 1 - C1

    Link to Chapter 2 - C2

    Link to Chapter 3 - C3

    Link to Chapter 3.5 - C3.5 (Special)

    Link To Chapter 4 - C4

    Link To Chapter 5 - C5

    Link To Chapter 6 - C6

    Link To Chapter 7 - C7

    Link To Chapter 8 - C8

    Link To Chapter 9 - C9

    Link To Chapter 10 - C10

    Link To Chapter 11 - C11
     
         
    Last edited by Escorpiius; 03-04-2012 at 07:17 PM.

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Thanks and sure, from now now on, I'll link you every new releases



    Yeah, I'll link you with all new releases and thanks again



    I'm glad you did. I know I limited the scope of appreciation for many by making it very wizard-centric (especially on a Naruto forum) but I'm elated to see some loving it nonetheless.

    For Krum, well...I won't say much.
    And for Malfoys, well, there are things that changed in Scorpius but I guess, many things were also inherited by blood
    You can say that again... Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy .
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Don't worry, that's something common to check back on previous work to re-freshen memory. I also do it but I'd like to re-excuse myself for such a late release.

    Thanks for all the kind words; though I think it was far from flawless and far far Rowling's level obviously. But getting such praises from another great writer always make me feel like I did not do a horrendous job. This chapter was hard for me because it required loads of description. And scenic description was always something that made uneasy to write. It always seem to me that I messed it up and this chapter required lots of it. So, it was a risky challenge. For you to say that you couldn't critique anything, gives me much relief.

    Well, this chapter was also like a Special Hermione chapter and since Krum and Ron and Harry are 3 major characters around her, I'm happy to see that you love the interactions.

    Unfortunately, I kinda planned it to be a long story but little did I know that life would become so overcharged with stuffs that writing time will be seriously compromised. Hopefully, most of what will follow won't disappoint you and again, thanks for everything.
    Please, you obviously had more important things to attend to and that is completely understandable and yet you always return with some phenomenal piece of work.Your welcome and yes it was very detailed but you definitely have a splendid way with descriptions. Yes, the main characters interactions are topnotch!

    Real life issues can sway anyone but you just keep at it because you possess superior talent
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by marhuto View Post
    You can say that again... Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy .
    xD Kinda lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Draco Malfoy
    'You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter."


    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post
    Please, you obviously had more important things to attend to and that is completely understandable and yet you always return with some phenomenal piece of work.Your welcome and yes it was very detailed but you definitely have a splendid way with descriptions. Yes, the main characters interactions are topnotch!

    Real life issues can sway anyone but you just keep at it because you possess superior talent
    Thanks for the feedback and especially the kind words. Though saying that I possess superior talent is exaggerated and over-the-top.
     
         

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    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    First of, I obviously had an advantage as it was/isn't that long since I read the 4 previous chapters; so even if it has been months, it only felt like a few weeks for me.

    I think the length you put up was great, not too big and not too short either. This is actually a perfect length for it or any chapters in general, something I've always strived to get, but always crossed

    Seeing as both you and Kuroi has made your comebacks, I'm more pumped than ever to follow. Great work once again my friend:D And now, for the chapter


    I really liked how you described the dinner, it was humorous at times, yet interesting as it drove the story forward, well done.
    Did I mention I love the interacting between Sakura and Lee and Naruto? Hilarious:lmao: Nice way to break the ice, so to speak!

    Something I didn't think much about while reading the first part of it, but that came to mind after getting about halfway there. Your narration is pretty good and it doesn't feel stiff or parted up in anyways. There is one thing though that, after reading through more or less whole of Kuroi's FF, came to my mind.
    The change from who's talking till narrator is great, but there is not actually anything that separates it from who's talking. Like, if you didn't really pay attention, you could mix who's talking, with the narrator. Not that I had that problem, just saying.
    And I'm not saying you should do much about it, other than perhaps put the Narrator's parts in italic or a different writing to make it stand out without being too flashy, if you know what I mean. Just a hint^^

    Don't know if I've specifically mentioned this before, but I noticed you're good at referring to HP events and characters that makes me take a memory trip back to the movies. Again, nice job.

    Oh, something I forgot to ask on one of your previous chapters. With Kabuto and IWR. How does that work with wizards? I mean, does Kabuto know enough about them to control them, or does he allow them to pretty much keep their will and magic attack-control?

    I like how you portrait Krum, like giving him even more of a character than he already had. I can't help it, but I get some sort of Snape vibe over him...

    About the last sentence;
    "Ron slowly leaned nearby her and he kissed her on her eyes and forehead as she closed her wet eyes with a hopeful smile. A smile that Ron hoped will not fade in the upcoming days…"

    I found the construction of this sentence a little weird, and one thing in particular caught my attention... He kissed her eyes? Seems kinda strange, but I guess it was a gentle one and at a moment when she closed them?

    Either way, can't wait for the next one. Keep rocking
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    First of, I obviously had an advantage as it was/isn't that long since I read the 4 previous chapters; so even if it has been months, it only felt like a few weeks for me.

    I think the length you put up was great, not too big and not too short either. This is actually a perfect length for it or any chapters in general, something I've always strived to get, but always crossed

    Seeing as both you and Kuroi has made your comebacks, I'm more pumped than ever to follow. Great work once again my friend:D And now, for the chapter

    I really liked how you described the dinner, it was humorous at times, yet interesting as it drove the story forward, well done.
    Did I mention I love the interacting between Sakura and Lee and Naruto? Hilarious:lmao: Nice way to break the ice, so to speak!

    Something I didn't think much about while reading the first part of it, but that came to mind after getting about halfway there. Your narration is pretty good and it doesn't feel stiff or parted up in anyways. There is one thing though that, after reading through more or less whole of Kuroi's FF, came to my mind.
    The change from who's talking till narrator is great, but there is not actually anything that separates it from who's talking. Like, if you didn't really pay attention, you could mix who's talking, with the narrator. Not that I had that problem, just saying.
    And I'm not saying you should do much about it, other than perhaps put the Narrator's parts in italic or a different writing to make it stand out without being too flashy, if you know what I mean. Just a hint^^

    Don't know if I've specifically mentioned this before, but I noticed you're good at referring to HP events and characters that makes me take a memory trip back to the movies. Again, nice job.

    Oh, something I forgot to ask on one of your previous chapters. With Kabuto and IWR. How does that work with wizards? I mean, does Kabuto know enough about them to control them, or does he allow them to pretty much keep their will and magic attack-control?

    I like how you portrait Krum, like giving him even more of a character than he already had. I can't help it, but I get some sort of Snape vibe over him...

    About the last sentence;
    "Ron slowly leaned nearby her and he kissed her on her eyes and forehead as she closed her wet eyes with a hopeful smile. A smile that Ron hoped will not fade in the upcoming days…"

    I found the construction of this sentence a little weird, and one thing in particular caught my attention... He kissed her eyes? Seems kinda strange, but I guess it was a gentle one and at a moment when she closed them?

    Either way, can't wait for the next one. Keep rocking
    Yeah. Btw, speaking of length. Some of your chapters, at times, aren't that long but you should take into consideration that the coloring names takes around 10000+ place in your lengthy chapter. For example, your last chapter is barely 40000 character and the main post is about 28000+ or something.

    Well, it was the only real Naruto moment in the chapter and basically, it was add-on just to break the ice a little bit. I'm glad you liked it.

    Well, I never really understood the concept of putting the Narrator part like that -

    Narrator: He was blah blah blah...

    I won't lie but I like the novel-style of writing more than dialogue-based; in which all of the lines are phrases and you need to read carefully who is speaking. The main reason I didn't do novel style is because it requires lots of description (something I'm far from good at). Basically, I like novel style but can't write it.

    So, thanks for the advice. I may find some way in the upcoming chapters. These kind of advices on presentation is always nice since I'm pretty raw when it comes to know the dialogue-based template.

    Thanks for that. I'm glad you liked it. Speaking of HP events, you made me remind something which I forgot to disclaim. There's a small paragraph where I re-used JK Rowling's words though; for which I won't take credit. Since I thought that part will be better explained by her only and I shouldn't sacrilege that part.

    You shouldn't concentrate on Kabuto too much. A simple hint: I'm planning big things for Kabuto; so it'll be better if you forget about him - to get better blown when he makes his move

    I'm glad you liked the development of Krum; though Snape is billion times better. You shouldn't compare both of them. Comparing Krum with Snape is like comparing Shino with Itachi

    Yeah, I messed up a bit with that part. It was added a bit in a hurry in a way to end the chapter. The original part was him to kiss her closed wet eyelids. The emotional significance of it was to show how Ron kissed her teary eyes - in a way to show that just like he embrace her tears, he will be embracing all sadness with her, whatever the circumstances is. The followed kiss on forehead was an affectionate one. I should perhaps re-write it as the phrase indeed didn't really reflect my thought. As you said recently though, romance isn't really our forte. Thanks for everything
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Yeah. Btw, speaking of length. Some of your chapters, at times, aren't that long but you should take into consideration that the coloring names takes around 10000+ place in your lengthy chapter. For example, your last chapter is barely 40000 character and the main post is about 28000+ or something.

    Well, it was the only real Naruto moment in the chapter and basically, it was add-on just to break the ice a little bit. I'm glad you liked it.

    Well, I never really understood the concept of putting the Narrator part like that -

    Narrator: He was blah blah blah...

    I won't lie but I like the novel-style of writing more than dialogue-based; in which all of the lines are phrases and you need to read carefully who is speaking. The main reason I didn't do novel style is because it requires lots of description (something I'm far from good at). Basically, I like novel style but can't write it.

    So, thanks for the advice. I may find some way in the upcoming chapters. These kind of advices on presentation is always nice since I'm pretty raw when it comes to know the dialogue-based template.

    Thanks for that. I'm glad you liked it. Speaking of HP events, you made me remind something which I forgot to disclaim. There's a small paragraph where I re-used JK Rowling's words though; for which I won't take credit. Since I thought that part will be better explained by her only and I shouldn't sacrilege that part.

    You shouldn't concentrate on Kabuto too much. A simple hint: I'm planning big things for Kabuto; so it'll be better if you forget about him - to get better blown when he makes his move

    I'm glad you liked the development of Krum; though Snape is billion times better. You shouldn't compare both of them. Comparing Krum with Snape is like comparing Shino with Itachi

    Yeah, I messed up a bit with that part. It was added a bit in a hurry in a way to end the chapter. The original part was him to kiss her closed wet eyelids. The emotional significance of it was to show how Ron kissed her teary eyes - in a way to show that just like he embrace her tears, he will be embracing all sadness with her, whatever the circumstances is. The followed kiss on forehead was an affectionate one. I should perhaps re-write it as the phrase indeed didn't really reflect my thought. As you said recently though, romance isn't really our forte. Thanks for everything
    Haha yeah I know But still, scrolling fast through the chapter with the scroll wheel to see how far down it goes takes for ever, so even with the coloring, my chapters are usually beyond preferred reading length, something I'm going to do something about with my sequel FF.

    Well yeah, and that wasn't what I meant either, that's why I didn't mention that at all, I just referred to having perhaps something simple like italic, different writing-style/form or centered it. I know you basically use a between space every time someone new talks, but there might be some people out there who reads too fast and misses the jumps from time to time.
    Again, it could even be as simple as having the first letter bolded, something creative, I dunno. And I agree with you, having it like "Narrator" is getting old and I've long time ago changed that out for all the fragments of chapters that I've written for all the FF I got coming up.

    Well it's more like a mix to me as the only parts that make it dialogue based is that you have the name of the characters shown. The only real novel like FF I remember from the top of my mind is Sun's, and I think it's really how you look at it as it can pretty much be divided in several groups.
    Dialogue-colored based like my Original FF, mixed-colored like Ivan's Infernal Rebirth. Or novel like, but with a basic dialogue set up like yours.

    Oh? Which one?

    Yeah I guess we will just have to wait and see^^

    Haha true But I was thinking more of like how Snape was in the first film/book as he had a mysterious, yet seemingly evil intention and it all turned out to be the one you know (not Voldemort, but the dark arts professor can't remember his name).

    Other than that, everything else was great written, even for a build up chapter, this one was great!
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 03-01-2012 at 12:56 PM.

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Haha yeah I know But still, scrolling fast through the chapter with the scroll wheel to see how far down it goes takes for ever, so even with the coloring, my chapters are usually beyond preferred reading length, something I'm going to do something about with my sequel FF.

    Well yeah, and that wasn't what I meant either, that's why I didn't mention that at all, I just referred to having perhaps something simple like italic, different writing-style/form or centered it. I know you basically use a between space every time someone new talks, but there might be some people out there who reads too fast and misses the jumps from time to time.
    Again, it could even be as simple as having the first letter bolded, something creative, I dunno. And I agree with you, having it like "Narrator" is getting old and I've long time ago changed that out for all the fragments of chapters that I've written for all the FF I got coming up.

    Well it's more like a mix to me as the only parts that make it dialogue based is that you have the name of the characters shown. The only real novel like FF I remember from the top of my mind is Sun's, and I think it's really how you look at it as it can pretty much be divided in several groups.
    Dialogue-colored based like my Original FF, mixed-colored like Ivan's Infernal Rebirth. Or novel like, but with a basic dialogue set up like yours.

    Oh? Which one?

    Yeah I guess we will just have to wait and see^^

    Haha true But I was thinking more of like how Snape was in the first film/book as he had a mysterious, yet seemingly evil intention and it all turned out to be the one you know (not Voldemort, but the dark arts professor can't remember his name).

    Other than that, everything else was great written, even for a build up chapter, this one was great!
    I see. Did you finalize a name or are you still waiting for my opinion? -.-

    So you'll be trying new things too with this sequel? Hmmm...interesting. And yeah, I'll do something for it.

    O, it's the part where Hermione explains on the History of Triwizard Tournament. About 3 sentences or so are taken from Rowling's 4th HP Tome. It's just like Dumbledore spoke it towards the students of that time.

    Ah, you mean Quirrell. Well, yeah, I'm not giving a very tender image to Krum but then again, Durmstrang people are reputed for being pretty stern. Anyways, let's see what'll spring up? xD

    Well, thank you very much for all tips, all suggestions and all praises ^^
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    I see. Did you finalize a name or are you still waiting for my opinion? -.-

    So you'll be trying new things too with this sequel? Hmmm...interesting. And yeah, I'll do something for it.

    O, it's the part where Hermione explains on the History of Triwizard Tournament. About 3 sentences or so are taken from Rowling's 4th HP Tome. It's just like Dumbledore spoke it towards the students of that time.

    Ah, you mean Quirrell. Well, yeah, I'm not giving a very tender image to Krum but then again, Durmstrang people are reputed for being pretty stern. Anyways, let's see what'll spring up? xD

    Well, thank you very much for all tips, all suggestions and all praises ^^
    Yeah, In the end, I came up with 3 names and I think I have picked my favorite already

    Yep, though I'm not sure how much of it will be shown as I think most of my changes are build up and structure based, not so much as changing the way of telling the story. I dunno

    I see. Well I didn't really remember it, but that is perhaps because I've only watched the movies...

    Yeah that's him! So Krum's behavior kind of reminded me of a mix between him and Snap's role in the first film/book. Whatever happens or if anything happens on this "part of the story", I bet you will make it phenomenal

    Yeah, my pleasure, though I'm not sure how much of a decent tip I gave
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    This is truly amazing u should be a writer
     
         

  24. #24
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Atlas View Post
    This is truly amazing u should be a writer
    Thanks Though, I've still a looooooong way to go before reaching that level.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 10

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    Only talk no jutsu no action,no naruto
    But goblet of fire:crazy::overjoy: i hope i'll see a lot of action and ninja in next chapters
    This^
    Should have put some action in it
     
         

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