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  1. #1
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    No one - Chapter 2

    Chapter 1 - http://www.narutobase.net/forums/sho...d.php?t=134141

    Chapter 2 - Only the beginning

    Here I was, halting against a shade of the last hill, the enemy on the other side, with ready guns patiently waiting to blow our brains out. We took our formation, weeks spent in a trench for this sole reason. Colonel Bismarck at the back quietly explaining our orders.

    ''We don't know how many people are out there, but we can't hide here forever, now assemble in your formation and get ready to attack''

    As the Colonel was registering our names for the so called ''formation'' He stumbled across me, and with a sinister smile on his face, asked ''Name, Soldier!'' I stuttered, painful memories wavering back to my brain instantly, I then noticed that smile turn into a frown, and could sense the Colonel had lost his patience. He raised his arm, but was stopped by a mysterious figure behind me, another soldier just like me, that calmly said ‘Leave it Sir, out here names have no value, once we have entered the battlefield everything about us changes, our names, our identity and personality, we become No one.’ Those words at that moment somehow meant something to me. For the first time in my life, someone’s spoken words have connected to my feelings, if they were to be in existence in the first place.

    But there was not time to think, my memories slowly fading away with the sound of loading guns and dirt smouldering my knees. Everything was so quiet I could hear my own heart beat, blood rushing through my body like an Olympic swimmer; my life was on the line at this moment, but I couldn’t care about my very own existence, I had a new purpose, to obliterate anything that stood in my way. Patiently waiting with the other soldiers, we heard the command... ‘CHARGE’ The voice was more powerful than a wolf’s cry, at that moment, everyone around me raised their head and topped the trench, running like savaged animals through a battlefield, I lifted my head to run out, but I was stopped by my own fear, what was that fear? To this day I still can’t figure out why my body reacted that way, but it saved my life. My eyes, shocked in horror, at the sight of my comrades, slowly being slaughtered one by one, their bodies falling down one by one, mixed with the smoke to blur out my vision.

    However, I was lucky enough to see one enemy approaching the trench, but I was too afraid to react. I ran the other direction as far as I could, until I stumbled across a hole on the floor, possible made from a landmine. I fell head forward and rolled onto my back, my eyes already partially damaged, I saw the one enemy walking towards me, regardless of what I had to do something, for the sake of my life, the very first time I acknowledged my life, I was a fellow comrade of my army, but I had already betrayed them by staying in the trench. Would they have killed me for being a traitor? Or all they all dead? These questions had to be answered later, I grabbed my gun and without looking fired it towards my enemy, and he fell towards my body, then I heard a soft cry, almost like he was trying to speak to me, but he was struggling to form a sentence. After a while the smoke was clearing up and my vision was being restored, that’s when I saw the look on his face. It wasn’t an enemy, but it was one of my own, in fact the soldier that stood up for me during my conversation with the Colonel, he looked towards my shocked face and muttered ‘.....Wh....Why?’ Those were his last words, he fell before me and a picture came out of his pocket. With nothing to do, I slowly picked up the picture to not only contradict my own statement about the soldiers of war, but question the war in itself. I saw a picture of him, standing with his wife and children. The image didn’t look that dated, this man I killed by my own hands had what people referred to as a ‘good life’ So why did he decide to join this war? Not only that, but I had killed him with my own hands, I was never put out to be here, I thought I could handle the pain to see loved ones pass away, which was the case of my mother’s death and my father abandoning me. However, this time I believed it was my fault, had I committed a crime? This was an innocent person with a family that he cared about, he fought for his families protection but was killed by his own comrade. Who says the enemy hasn’t got their families as well? People they care about, people that they love and would fight for.

    I picked up the corpse and walked back to the trench before anyone would notice me; there Colonel Bismarck was expecting my return along with some soldiers who reinforced back at the trench. As the Colonel saw me approaching the trench, he shouted in anger ‘What happened to you? And why are you carrying a dead person’s body?’ While tears were flowing down my cheeks, I couldn’t say anything else but ‘I’m sorry, I have disappointed you, I couldn’t build up the courage to fight, and I’ve also kil...’ Bismarck interrupted me:

    ‘How was I supposed to know if you were in the attempted ambush? We only check the names before we attack, if that person is not back in the trench if it was a failed attack than he is considered dead.’

    ‘But I couldn’t care less about that, why are you bringing back a dead body?’

    ‘I figured we could give him a funeral, send the body back to his family and let him rest.’ The Colonel shook his head in confusion ‘Hah! Fool, you think that all will work out well for the soldiers? You’re wrong, once you enter this hell you will remain in hell. You will die on the battlefield and be left out to rot with the Earth. Soldiers give up everything to fight, but they won’t regain that back, when you’re dead I’m afraid there is nothing we can do. Same goes for your enemies if you are having second thoughts, they are attacking us, and we have to attack back. We have to lock the pain in our hearts and unleash it towards the targets, and instead of carrying a body around, get your gun and start shooting... Life is only what you make it, but if you stay on the spot without shooting, you’re going to get yourself killed. Believe me, I know.’

    Seeing the faces of soldiers in the trench, with blood dripping down their faces, I transformed myself. Dropping the corpse on the floor, loading my gun and watching the battlefield. With fury in my eyes, I could feel the sky burning upon me; I jumped above the trench and stared into oblivion, ready for anything.


    Chapter 2 - Only the beginning - END
     
         
    Last edited by Kerrah; 12-25-2011 at 12:30 PM.

  2. #2
    (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Mr. Outside's Avatar
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    If you belonged to a political
    party or a social club that
    was tied to as much bigotry,
    misogyny, homophobia,
    violence, and sheer ignorance
    as religion is, you'd resign
    in protest.
     

    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    Nice! +rep
     
         

  3. #3
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    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by PerkMachine View Post
    Nice! +rep
    Thanks Much Appreciated !
     
         

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    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    Excellent, truely excellent.

    The level of description and imagery was great, I could understand how, the character telling the story actually felt. IMO it's so much easier to write a first person perspective, because you can use words like "I" which allows you to better describe a central character. The person telling the story can actually convey everything he's feeling and it allows you, as a writter, to be as creative with your descriptions as you want.

    +rep
     
         

  5. #5
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    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    Excellent, truely excellent.

    The level of description and imagery was great, I could understand how, the character telling the story actually felt. IMO it's so much easier to write a first person perspective, because you can use words like "I" which allows you to better describe a central character. The person telling the story can actually convey everything he's feeling and it allows you, as a writter, to be as creative with your descriptions as you want.

    +rep
    Thank you very much :D

    I believe the more descriptive it is, the better the image in the readers mind, I'm really glad you liked it
     
         

  6. #6
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    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    , I just ran by it because it was the latest post of the FF section. I haven't read chapter 1 yet, but I'm going to. Also feel free to link me any of your newer chapters when you release them, via VM :D
     
         

  7. #7
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    Re: No one - Chapter 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    , I just ran by it because it was the latest post of the FF section. I haven't read chapter 1 yet, but I'm going to. Also feel free to link me any of your newer chapters when you release them, via VM :D
    Ahaha, doesn't matter, I always do that too And I'm currently writing up the other chapters I'll make sure to VM them to you
     
         

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