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  1. #1
    Yanto's Avatar
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    how are you today? :D
     

    A life saver :2

    6 years later...
    Jill and jhon have grown up and his dady,jack has become old an man by now.jack had caught an illness which had lasted for the past 2 years. One night Jack brought his 2 chilren and said
    jack: " I don't think i will be with you for even a week anymore...."
    jill *intrupted*:" Don't say that father... You will be alright"
    jack*continued*:"i have 2 wishes i want them to be granted by you 2 as my reward for raising you"
    jhon: "what is it father?"
    jack:" Jhon i want you to be the bravest solider.and jill i want you to be a writter not just any writter. The world best story writter like you always wanted"
    jhon and jill *at same time*: "yes we will "
    After 2 weeks jack died with a pleasant death and jill and jhon were on their own. Days passed and they ran out of stored food so they left the home.
    *knock,knock*
    jhon knocked a door which was found after traveling a distance of 2 or 3 km .a weired man with eye opened the door
    jhon: "can we sleep here tonigt, Because my little sister is frezing out in the cold night"
    the man: "yes you can . But only for tonight"
    the 2 of them went inside the house and slept there that night.
    Jill:"jhon,jhon wake up the man is gone"
    jhon:"what..."
    jhon woke up a had a look all around him..
    Jhon:"where did he go ?i was gonna ask him for instructions about this area"
    jill:" what were you gonna ask..?You said you knew all about this area"
    jhon:"i though i knew but i don't.let's stay here for a while and then lets move"
    jill:"ok.Only for another night"
    by then jill heard a soum of clock *tik,toktik,tok*it sounded like a count down. Soon jill found out the sound producer which was a bomb.
    Jack:"get out of here now"
    they got out of the house.and the bomb got the house.jill and jhon got lost in the woods again.so they started to walk again..
    to be continued on 3
     
         
    Last edited by Yanto; 12-17-2011 at 09:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member aradmehr's Avatar
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    Re: A life saver :2

    Put a one line space between the talking and the happenings,also when two people are talking,pit a one line space when ones sentence ends like:

    jack: " I don't think i will be with you for even a week anymore...."
    jill *intrupted*:" Don't say that father... You will be alright"

    Make it like:

    jack: " I don't think i will be with you for even a week anymore...."

    jill *intrupted*:" Don't say that father... You will be alright"

    It doesnt make much difference with two lines,but when all the 10 lines are so close to each other,it make it hard to read.
     
         

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