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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    CHAPTER 9 – Building the Trust!

    First, to all my fervent and old readers, I’d like to thank you. You all didn’t bugged me and were very indulgent with me – despite me, halting the FF for exams purposes. The least I could do was to stick out to the 1st December date that I did fix for my comeback and yeah made this one pretty lengthy. For all readers who never read it before, then I suggest, you start from the beginning (All links are in my Sig). Just a little note though (especially my readers who don’t read the HP book), the character ‘Scorpius’ in this chapter has nothing to do with me but the character is in fact part of JK Rowling’s work and is the son of Draco Malfoy. I just wanted to clarify this. So here you are, enjoy the chapter.

    Naruto: I’m glad you are all finally here.

    Sakura: You didn’t need to give us such a tumultuous welcoming though. Now, this will...

    Little had she spoken that most of the Hogwarts students came at the outside to see what was happening? The inevitable glares were really not to the ease of Ino while Tenten barely beamed and Choji opened a new packet of chips. The younger students were staring more than ever while a low buzz of chatter and rumor started between the elderly ones.

    Neji: You really couldn’t have played the discreet card, could you?

    Naruto: Sorry, I didn’t know. I’m surprised you did come though, Gaara.

    Gaara: Well, there isn’t really much danger right now since the war. In fact, there’s boredom ever since. In those situations, I couldn’t refute a mission on Kabuto.

    Kankuro: I agree that it’s the best way to de-rust some of my puppets.

    Choji: Where’s Shikamaru and Kakashi-sensei by the way?

    Temari: …

    Naruto yelled hard to call on Shikamaru who was watching awkwardly, beyond his and Naruto’s window, the arrival of his peers and more specifically Temari.

    Naruto: Come down, Shikamaru!

    Kankuro: Look who it is. I think, you owe some of us some explanation if I remember.

    Gaara shot several warning glances towards Shikamaru suddenly, who gulped and sighed.

    Shikamaru: Alright, I’m…

    Little had he said a word that Gaara’s sand flushed towards him to grab him but the sand barely missed Shikamaru – who dodged – and effloresced the vintage wall of Hogwarts where some bricks dropped down.

    Scorpius: Hey, you ungrateful ninjas! Stop damaging our school with your weird tricks.

    Sakura: I’m really sorry for everything. Shikamaru, just get down here now.

    Shikamaru: Okay, I’ll come. What a drag!

    Scorpius: I see that your team is just composed of over-reactive, failed idiots or even cravens and you claim to find Professor McGonagall’s assassin. It’s a pity.

    Eloise: What, “they” are the ones who are investigating.

    Scorpius: Yes and when they don’t know who to blame, they are targeting my mother.

    Choji: I suggest, you all mind your lan…

    Eloise: Shut up, you fat-ass!

    She definitely clicked on the wrong word. Choji puffed hard, eyes wide open as he crushed his packet of chips.

    Naruto: No, please go away.

    Eloise: Oh, the fat pig is vexed. Go and bring him his teddy bear.

    As she just began giggling, Choji’s right arm just got colossally huge as he rushed for a real punch in high speed.

    Gaara and Naruto: Damn! I won’t make it…

    However, concern and reflex thoughts barely clicked their minds that…

    ???: Petrificus Totalus!

    As a black cape flew onto the ground and Choji’s body was petrified just before it hit Eloise’s face –whose giggles turned into yelps, Harry was standing with his wand. Cheers were suddenly echoed by the students for Harry. It wasn’t everyday that they saw the Legendary Boy. On listening to those deafening roars, James proudly look up to his father and Albus blushed – though was deeply heart warmed – by Hogwarts’ reaction. The same was not the case for Harry, though whose cold look was signifying more of disappointment and anger.

    Harry: Quiet! Remain quiet, everyone! You should all be ashamed of yourselves to insult our guests. You’re disgracing the name of the school.
    The students were suddenly silenced while some even looked down in utter shame.

    Harry: Naruto, I’m sorry to have petrified your friend. He’ll be able to move within one hour or so.

    Naruto: No worries, I’m rather glad you’ve intervened.

    The girl, terrified over the idea she was barely saved and angry that a “fat scum” rebelled against her, pursed her lips to control her emotions as some other girls tried to console her. Shikamaru got downstairs to the scene but all attention were no more on him which definitely was not in his displeasure. While, beyond…

    Kakashi: Well, this whole mission is going to be much more turbulent than it was thought initially, it seems.

    Hermione: There’s still a long way before there’s some kind of coherence unfortunately.

    Ron: Who’s this cute pestilence by the way?

    Hermione: Oh, you don’t know?

    Ron: No, it’s you, the Headmaster. But stop kidding around, tell me who is it?

    Hermione: She’s your ex-flame daughter. You know, your dear Lavender.

    Ron looked in disbelief as Hermione smiled at his agape look.

    Ron: You’re not joking?

    Hermione: No, I’m not. In fact, Lavender married to a very rich Muggle man.

    Ron didn’t really wanted to hear this kind of emphasis but Hermione kept teasing him, given Ron’s speechlessness.

    Hermione: So, cherishing back some of your memories, Won-Won?

    Ron knew that remaining silent could hurt Hermione’s ego – given she always hated Lavender. So he played safe.

    Ron: Who’ll like someone like her when I’ve got such a gorgeous wife along me?

    This compliment touched Hermione, regardless how common and cheesy it was, though.

    Ron: Now it’s clear that she inherited her mother’s traits.

    While these two were talking, below Sakura, Lee and Neji were trying to move Choji’s still immobilized body away. Meanwhile, Naruto took a big leap till Hermione’s office.

    Hermione: …

    Naruto: Well, as concluded, can we all moves here?

    Ron: You really want to stick to your decision to live here during your stay. There’s still possibility to try making some places available, you know.

    Naruto: That won’t be necessary. I wanted to ask if we could construct something here.

    Ron: …

    Hermione: Well, sure.

    Naruto: Thank you.

    Naruto got back down and weaved an affirmative sign towards Gaara and Yamato who got to “work”.

    Ron: What did they mean by construct?

    Kakashi: You’ll see.

    The wishful view didn’t wait a bit. Gaara modified the quite rocky lawn of the field leading towards the gloomy Forbidden Forest to a perfect sandy landscape to everyone’s awe. However, what followed was simply jaw-dropping for every wizard’s present obviously. Yamato grew up a whole wooden house structure.

    Hermione: Well, you definitely don’t need places, I guess. Isn’t it, Ron?

    Ron: …

    Ron: Indeed…

    Naruto: Good job, you two.

    Eloise: Pfff, another useless showoff. Ruining our school to make a holiday resort for you, it’s pitiful.

    Naruto gazed at her perceivably as all other ninjas ignored her.

    Harry: You should learn some manners, my dear.

    ???: The girl is right though!

    Harry: Who said that?

    ???: I said that.

    Behind the clustering amount of students, came out Horace Slughorn.

    Harry: …

    Slughorn: The girl is right. These guys, in their “facade” to help us, are destroying the 4 Great Masters’ creation. They have no…

    Harry: These guys are here to help us. Everyone, particularly the Professors, need to aid them in whatever way they can. We already owe them a big service.

    Slughorn: You mean for sealing out Minerva McGonagall? We could have done better without them. Also…

    Harry: They are going to help us fight…

    Naruto: No need to go to that limit. If we aren’t welcomed here, I think, we can find some other way…

    Harry: No, you need to stay here…

    Naruto: Who talked about going away?

    Harry: …

    Naruto: I’m sure Mr. Slughorn and we can find a deal, right? Tell me, what do you…

    Slughorn: I want a fight right here and now.

    As Harry looked up a bit stunned to the current turns of events, most of the other students gave a huge pop to the Head of Slytherin.

    Slughorn: You win and you prove us your worth. You lose and you leave us alone.

    Naruto: It’s funny; it’s exactly what I wanted to. I accept your challenge.
    While the atmosphere was getting more and more electric, Harry looked up blankly to Naruto.

    Harry: You cannot be serious about this…

    Naruto: Well, I think we are both damn serious. In fact, if we are going to take down Kabuto, it’s by trusting each other that we’ll succeed. This fight will generate the bridge of trust between us – the bridge that will mark a new alliance and will be Kabuto’s downfall.

    Harry: …

    Harry: Alright, do as you wish.

    **

    Hermione: They can’t be serious to fight. We need to cooperate, instead of getting divided.

    Kakashi: Perhaps, but a half-baked trust between us won’t be effective against Kabuto.

    Ron and Hermione: …

    Kakashi: Dumbledore and the 1st Hokage had that long time deal concluded between wizards and ninjas but since it never occurred as planned, distrust occurred inevitably. If this alliance was really destined to happen, all these events are perhaps leading towards a longtime fated alliance.

    Ron: I guess you’re right. Besides, I think this alliance will never be concluded as long as each other regard their counterparts as equal in respect and dignity. Slughorn’s pride needs to be tamed and that’s perhaps the only way.

    Kakashi: It’s the same for Naruto as well. He wants this alliance to be respected by both sides. Moreover…

    Hermione: …

    Kakashi: He’s also thirsting to fight to prove ninjas’ mettle.

    Hermione: …

    All three looked as both of them were ready to fight.

    **

    Slughorn: Ready?

    Naruto: Of course!

    A more than tensed atmosphere suddenly settled in, as the Whomping Willow lashed its branches, as if to give a starting signal to the delayed alliance.

    Slughorn: Stupefy!

    The stunning spell flew out of Slughorn’s wand – starting the duel – as Naruto dodged in Sage Mode.

    Slughorn: Not so easily. Stupefy! Stupefy!

    Naruto kept dodging as he took a big jump upwards.

    Naruto: Kage Bun…

    He barely had time to make the signs for his jutsu as a number of Blasting Spells were targeted after him. After avoiding two of them, he took a direct hit…

    Slughorn: Over already?

    Sakura: Naruto!

    As the smoke dissipated, wooden lags feel on the ground…

    Slughorn: ???

    Suddenly, 4 clones of Naruto jumped from all directions towards Slughorn…

    Slughorn: Expulso!

    Several spells flew like rockets towards all Shadow Clones as a big smoke surrounded Slughorn.

    Slughorn: Where is he?

    In an astounding surprise, Naruto emerged from underground with a Rasengan in his right hand – aiming at Slughorn’s chin…

    Slughorn: You were nearly there, however, Stup…

    The optimistic reflexion was of short instance as Slughorn suddenly realize that Naruto was actually aiming to disarm him.

    Naruto: Gotcha! Rasengan.

    Before the Rasengan hit his wand though, he casted a spell towards himself.

    Slughorn: Ascendio!

    The master of Slytherin flew upwards as Naruto missed his Rasengan. His wand suddenly slipped from hand as he was about to crash down…

    Ron: At this height, he will…

    Slughorn: Aresto Momentum!

    In a split second before crashing down, he faced the ground flatly immobilized towards it before smoothly landing onto it.

    Slughorn: That was…

    His shadow on the ground was suddenly intensified and as he turned around, it was an illuminating Naruto – in Kyuubi Mode – that was up in the sky; forming a Giant Rasengan in his hand.

    Slughorn realized that with his wand not in his grasp that defeat was incoming.

    Slughorn: I…

    Naruto charged with Rasengan in his hand!

    Slughorn: …

    Naruto: …

    Slughorn: …surrender!

    Naruto, quickly reacted, forming a chakra arm from his belly that acted as counter-balance on the ground and deviated his wrecking attack on the Slytherin Headmaster!

    The win of Naruto over Slughorn was met with motionless astonishment as the looks of the wizards varied and ominous muttering were being heard. Among these, a loud clap sound resonated in the crowd.

    Naruto turned away and saw the eyes full of humbleness of a grounded Slughorn. He stood up and kept clapping as he stopped to tend his right hand.

    Slughorn: Nuisance or not, you ninjas are worthy opponents and I think we’d rather have as allies.

    This definitely pleased Naruto as he accepted the handshake and with that, deafening roars, claps and whistles from wizards and ninjas were heard; signifying the real start of the alliance between wizards and ninjas.

    Naruto: And I firmly believe it’s reciprocal! However…

    Kakashi: …

    Hermione: …

    Harry/Naruto: …What awaits us might be beyond what we can imagine!

    Ron grumpily understood what Harry and Naruto meant; he still looked in his ever-lasting half-perplexed, half-determined look while Kakashi coldly turned towards Hermione.

    Kakashi: Umm…

    Hermione wiggled her hand towards Kakashi as a sign that she knows already.

    Kakashi: So? He must have seen everything of what just occurred surely.

    Hermione looked towards the sky and crossed her arms.

    Hermione: I know. Call Krum up and tell everyone else. The Goblet of Fire is starting in one week!


    ~END OF CHAPTER~


    Next Chapter Entitled: TBD


    Well, I hope you liked it and weren’t disappointed. Hopefully, I didn’t lose my touch in my writing or my story. It wasn’t easy to write back after such a hiatus but it defitely felt good to re-continue my FF. Awaiting your CnCs impatiently for this one. Don’t forget to Rate it as per your liking.
     
         
    Last edited by Escorpiius; 12-02-2011 at 03:34 AM.

  2. #2
    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    *reserved post*
     
         

  3. #3
    Legendary Sage of Konoha Michael92's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    I know I'm far behind, but I will manage to catch up by the end of December. Look for a review then... or by then.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    I'll read it aftr my exam today
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    What can I say. You definitely made a grand comeback! Again not much action but your chapters always seem to make up for that and are so entertaining to the eyes and mind. The professionalism that you pour into your work is exceptional and I'm actually envious. In the way you express each character truly retains the originality from the author/mangaka and my hat is off to you for a job splendidly done.

    Shikamaru avoiding Temari (or so it seemed) was humorous lol So the apple did not fall to far from the tree as Scorpius acted very reminiscent to how his father did. Eloise was extremely annoying and insolent lol I loved it I really liked how you decided to go about Naruto/Slughorn's fight. I thought it was brilliant! ^.^ The Goblet of Fire will definitely be interesting-I mean if you decide to go into detail with it.

    In all honesty superb work and continue until the end!
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Truly wonderful.

    I'm happy to see this return, ironically the same time as NB court. The FF section has been booming, but those 2 returns made my day.

    I loved this chapter. The Goblet of Fire will surely be interesting.
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    I know I'm far behind, but I will manage to catch up by the end of December. Look for a review then... or by then.
    Surething as we talked already. xD

    Quote Originally Posted by +Kyon+ View Post
    I'll read it aftr my exam today
    Waiting to see your reaction.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post
    What can I say. You definitely made a grand comeback! Again not much action but your chapters always seem to make up for that and are so entertaining to the eyes and mind. The professionalism that you pour into your work is exceptional and I'm actually envious. In the way you express each character truly retains the originality from the author/mangaka and my hat is off to you for a job splendidly done.

    Shikamaru avoiding Temari (or so it seemed) was humorous lol So the apple did not fall to far from the tree as Scorpius acted very reminiscent to how his father did. Eloise was extremely annoying and insolent lol I loved it I really liked how you decided to go about Naruto/Slughorn's fight. I thought it was brilliant! ^.^ The Goblet of Fire will definitely be interesting-I mean if you decide to go into detail with it.

    In all honesty superb work and continue until the end!
    Thanks. I was really unsure abut many parts. Atleast, I can say someone liked it now and coming from you, it's quite relieving. Thanks for all the good words.

    I wonder if I'm dragging off that part but I actually always liked that small story centered on Shikamaru in my FF. Given he's perhaps my favorite character in Naruto, I want to make that part sound as fun as I can. Hope it is, cause the story (his supposedly betrayal towards Temari) started off quite simply, weird and in fact a bit silly.

    Kinda. Though I don't plan to make Scorpius become as annoying as Draco but after all, he's a Slytherin and her mother is on the run to 'supposedly' having murdered McGonagall. In those cases, I can't make her look like an angel But yeah, Eloise was purposely made annoying.

    The fight was initially longer (in concept) but Kishi made Naruto look so OPd as time passed by (in manga) that I couldn't do that as much as I want. I still tried making it as sound as possible but just couldn't drag it off too much. For many who were awaiting action - well, I tried but hope, you'll pardon me for its shortness. Hopefully, the Goblet of Fire and mostly when Kabuto enters the fray, there'll be mostly only action.

    Goblet of Fire...length. Well, that's a bit the question that's perplexing me too. I won't say much but I think you know the purpose behind why I added the Goblet of Fire part.

    Thanks and hopefully, I'll do so.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Spicer View Post
    Truly wonderful.

    I'm happy to see this return, ironically the same time as NB court. The FF section has been booming, but those 2 returns made my day.

    I loved this chapter. The Goblet of Fire will surely be interesting.

    Thankies. :D

    Yeah, a bit ironic indeed. Glad you liked it though.

    It seems that many people seem to appreciate that part and interest themselves in Goblet of Fire.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    grand comeback man but one thing u called slughorn slytherin headmaster but hogwarts has only one head master at a time
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    2 Chaps from 2 Great Fanfics, I feel rejuvenated !
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by naruto kyuubi View Post
    grand comeback man but one thing u called slughorn slytherin headmaster but hogwarts has only one head master at a time
    Thanks. Well, Hogwarts have one Headmaster and 4 Houses (Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw & Hufflepuff) Each Houses do have a Head (or Headmaster) for them though. In short, that makes 1 Headmaster for the school on a whole and 4 Headmasters acting as subordinates for the school and as Heads to their respective Houses. The links will be more helpful perhaps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kagutsuchi View Post
    2 Chaps from 2 Great Fanfics, I feel rejuvenated !
    The second being the NB Court I guess. Glad you like it.
    Perhaps, Roku could complete the hattrick for y'a, what say? xD
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Thanks. I was really unsure abut many parts. Atleast, I can say someone liked it now and coming from you, it's quite relieving. Thanks for all the good words.

    I wonder if I'm dragging off that part but I actually always liked that small story centered on Shikamaru in my FF. Given he's perhaps my favorite character in Naruto, I want to make that part sound as fun as I can. Hope it is, cause the story (his supposedly betrayal towards Temari) started off quite simply, weird and in fact a bit silly.

    Kinda. Though I don't plan to make Scorpius become as annoying as Draco but after all, he's a Slytherin and her mother is on the run to 'supposedly' having murdered McGonagall. In those cases, I can't make her look like an angel But yeah, Eloise was purposely made annoying.

    The fight was initially longer (in concept) but Kishi made Naruto look so OPd as time passed by (in manga) that I couldn't do that as much as I want. I still tried making it as sound as possible but just couldn't drag it off too much. For many who were awaiting action - well, I tried but hope, you'll pardon me for its shortness. Hopefully, the Goblet of Fire and mostly when Kabuto enters the fray, there'll be mostly only action.

    Goblet of Fire...length. Well, that's a bit the question that's perplexing me too. I won't say much but I think you know the purpose behind why I added the Goblet of Fire part.

    Thanks and hopefully, I'll do so.
    Well, take it all in as you deserve it for work such as yours In my opinion, the whole Shikamaru situation adds comedy and I like it because I also happen to like his character lol So he may be your top favorite character-nice to know That's good to hear about Scorpius lol Well, Eloise's parts were funny I have to say and I liked how the ninjas reacted to her attitude. I apologize but what do you mean by OPd? This chapter had minor action but even in that sequence I was somewhat surprised in how it turned out. You just have great talent for making even a small fight be unexpected and entertaining. Whatever you decide with the Goblet of Fire be it screentime or simply mentioning it-I'm sure either will be just as successful. I suppose when I think about it I understand what is the purpose behind the tournament and about Kabuto's reappearance-that will be where things begin to heat up! ^.^
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    well, 2nd was Gats. NB Court as well :D
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Thanks. Well, Hogwarts have one Headmaster and 4 Houses (Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw & Hufflepuff) Each Houses do have a Head (or Headmaster) for them though. In short, that makes 1 Headmaster for the school on a whole and 4 Headmasters acting as subordinates for the school and as Heads to their respective Houses. The links will be more helpful perhaps.



    The second being the NB Court I guess. Glad you like it.
    Perhaps, Roku could complete the hattrick for y'a, what say? xD
     
         

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    ǝsɔoɹdııns Escorpiius's Avatar
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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post


    Well, take it all in as you deserve it for work such as yours In my opinion, the whole Shikamaru situation adds comedy and I like it because I also happen to like his character lol So he may be your top favorite character-nice to know That's good to hear about Scorpius lol Well, Eloise's parts were funny I have to say and I liked how the ninjas reacted to her attitude. I apologize but what do you mean by OPd? This chapter had minor action but even in that sequence I was somewhat surprised in how it turned out. You just have great talent for making even a small fight be unexpected and entertaining. Whatever you decide with the Goblet of Fire be it screentime or simply mentioning it-I'm sure either will be just as successful. I suppose when I think about it I understand what is the purpose behind the tournament and about Kabuto's reappearance-that will be where things begin to heat up! ^.^
    lol. I see. Well, usually I don't choose someone as favorite from Naruto but yeah, I think Shikamaru is my favorite and is in fact, my 3rd favorite character of all Animes. I'll be sincere - my favorite characters resolves around characters with unusual personalities and that usually have a very sharp mind.

    Eloise's part was the one I was most at ease to write in this chapter. It came off naturally to describe a pest-like girl. Wonder why

    OP means overpowered. Well, many like action and I understand that the manga culture and Naruto included resolves mostly around actions. It's not that I don't like to put action or just want to do a full-HP story (or like someone said 70% HP) but I look at the bigger picture where there'll be mostly only actions and twists. But yeah, battle depiction might be my weakest point. That's why I did Chapter 3.5 - in the wish to polish myself will a full-packed action chapter. But guess, I'm still far from good in that domain.

    We'll see. I hope I don't mess up with that Goblet of Fire part. I'm glad you understood it a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kagutsuchi View Post
    well, 2nd was Gats. NB Court as well :D
    O.o, sorry. I messed up a bit on understanding your comment

    Quote Originally Posted by Gatsndshanks View Post
    Beg my pardon Gats but Ali's puzzling comment misleaded me a bit Didn't want to offense you in anyway.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    lol. I see. Well, usually I don't choose someone as favorite from Naruto but yeah, I think Shikamaru is my favorite and is in fact, my 3rd favorite character of all Animes. I'll be sincere - my favorite characters resolves around characters with unusual personalities and that usually have a very sharp mind.

    Eloise's part was the one I was most at ease to write in this chapter. It came off naturally to describe a pest-like girl. Wonder why

    OP means overpowered. Well, many like action and I understand that the manga culture and Naruto included resolves mostly around actions. It's not that I don't like to put action or just want to do a full-HP story (or like someone said 70% HP) but I look at the bigger picture where there'll be mostly only actions and twists. But yeah, battle depiction might be my weakest point. That's why I did Chapter 3.5 - in the wish to polish myself will a full-packed action chapter. But guess, I'm still far from good in that domain.

    We'll see. I hope I don't mess up with that Goblet of Fire part. I'm glad you understood it a bit.
    I see-well that seemed somewhat apparent when you stated that it'd be Shika as he is not a main rather a supporting character. It definitely does feel nice when you are writing something in that doesn't give you problems. I thought so but I wanted confirmation lol thanks Dude, you are fine the way you are writing this. Besides something with action at all times does not only sound illogical but also does not permit any character development which is important. You have done just fine placing the action situations when and where it need s to be. Please, I thought the way you depicted Naruto's brief fight was not at all weak but strong and the ending was unexpected. In fact, you pivoted Slughorn against arguably the strongest ninja which was a twist I did not expect mainly due to his age and you pulled it off. Fantastic authors may worry however are able to succeed and I know you will too as you came back from a long hiatus and nailed this chapter in my opinion
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post


    I see-well that seemed somewhat apparent when you stated that it'd be Shika as he is not a main rather a supporting character. It definitely does feel nice when you are writing something in that doesn't give you problems. I thought so but I wanted confirmation lol thanks Dude, you are fine the way you are writing this. Besides something with action at all times does not only sound illogical but also does not permit any character development which is important. You have done just fine placing the action situations when and where it need s to be. Please, I thought the way you depicted Naruto's brief fight was not at all weak but strong and the ending was unexpected. In fact, you pivoted Slughorn against arguably the strongest ninja which was a twist I did not expect mainly due to his age and you pulled it off. Fantastic authors may worry however are able to succeed and I know you will too as you came back from a long hiatus and nailed this chapter in my opinion
    Well, that part is pretty silly - so it had to go to someone a supporting character like Shika or Lee. Indeed
    I agree that action is not always a must but perhaps, I rely too much on build-ups. But, frankly, it's nice to see that atleast someone do like this approach of mine. Well, Slughorn's inclusion is the fight was extremely debatable and so was Naruto. Frankly, this fight will have been nicer if I did wrote this before Naruto gained Kyuubi Mode. Now, someone like Slughorn is too weak against him. I do like this chapter though my favorite part is neither the action part nor Shika part but I don't think I nailed it. Too much room for improvement yet. Thanks for your recomforting words though
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Escorpiius View Post
    Well, that part is pretty silly - so it had to go to someone a supporting character like Shika or Lee. Indeed
    I agree that action is not always a must but perhaps, I rely too much on build-ups. But, frankly, it's nice to see that atleast someone do like this approach of mine. Well, Slughorn's inclusion is the fight was extremely debatable and so was Naruto. Frankly, this fight will have been nicer if I did wrote this before Naruto gained Kyuubi Mode. Now, someone like Slughorn is too weak against him. I do like this chapter though my favorite part is neither the action part nor Shika part but I don't think I nailed it. Too much room for improvement yet. Thanks for your recomforting words though
    Yes I do, its different and I can appreciate when the characters simply speak to one another whether its to further plot, development, etc. I think its fine as Slughorn could have been self confident so... No matter what-this chapter was a good comeback and we as the creator can doubt our work but listen to the readers as they know what's up. Your welcome and I mean every word honestly-not because you're my friend.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Kuroi Honoo View Post


    Yes I do, its different and I can appreciate when the characters simply speak to one another whether its to further plot, development, etc. I think its fine as Slughorn could have been self confident so... No matter what-this chapter was a good comeback and we as the creator can doubt our work but listen to the readers as they know what's up. Your welcome and I mean every word honestly-not because you're my friend.
    Thanks for your kind words once more.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Beautiful work, but curious, is hinata going to appear again? it would be very interesting
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    I LOVE IT!!!



    The Goblet of Fire will be an interesting event.
    KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Exactly one month since the last post. Guess I couldn't have timed it better
    I'm reading the chapters I've missed at the moment, so I'll get back here with a sum up when I'm done, instead of reviving each of your chapters

    Ps: Oh. and btw, you never used the post you reserved on page one, Escorp :lmao:


    Edit: Finally... I caught up As I've sent you some VMs about the previous chapters, I'm going to put most of my focus on this chapter and the story so far.

    First of all, it's quite humorous that it was Choji that was immobilized like that, poor guy, made him feel weak and humiliated,

    One thing that it might be easy not to think too much of, but that I thought was a little funny and weird at the same time, is how the Naruto characters become these kind of superhumans compared to the HP characters. I know it's unavoidable, due to how they are portrayed, but it's a bit amusing to see how they are jumping down from the windows of their rooms or from the office of Hermione, which is pretty high up I presume, and then jumping back up without any of the HP characters even thinking about it

    It would be cool if some of the students exclaimed; "Wow, how did he jump that high up," etc.
    However, I guess this is made up for when Gaara and Yamato shows of their constructive skills.

    The fight was intriguing. It couldn't have been easy to describe as there is no "evidence" of how a ninja attack would clash with a wizard attack. I don't think we saw too much of that in this fight, as you might have avoided the attacks clashing too much on purpose? I still feel this fight was pretty cool and a look at what to come. Maybe we will have a bijuu dama clashing with some sort of Avada Kedavra from Voldemort?

    For some reason I'm picturing the Kabuto - Voldemort relationship to be like Tobi - Kabuto or Oro - Sasuke for some reason, only that the events are turned around. Can't wait to see what's in store for upcoming chapters, and I do hope you'll be able to start writing fully again, like you promised, and perhaps even at the same time as I?

    The story so far is pretty well made. I feel like we've had a roller coaster of build ups and fights, which has been well mixed and blended. I feel like I did enjoy the four first chapters and the two last best for some reason, but that might be because 5-7 was mainly focused on character relation and story making, which is good, but perhaps it was a little dragged out due to the time-laps they were released, making those three chapters feel like standing still at times. All in all, this is one of, if not the best cross over FFs out there, and it's definitely top 5 at NB and I do think that you're still managing to get each new chapter done quite well, even if you haven't been able to write for awhile. I know the feeling that you're not sure how the latest chapters have fared due to the time laps between them, but trust me, you're improving your writing ability for each chapter that comes, and there is only one way to go from here, and that is up.

    So all that remains now is to ask; when is the next chapter scheduled?
     
         
    Last edited by Michael92; 01-31-2012 at 04:07 AM. Reason: Added Review.

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Exactly one month since the last post. Guess I couldn't have timed it better
    I'm reading the chapters I've missed at the moment, so I'll get back here with a sum up when I'm done, instead of reviving each of your chapters

    Ps: Oh. and btw, you never used the post you reserved on page one, Escorp :lmao:


    Edit: Finally... I caught up As I've sent you some VMs about the previous chapters, I'm going to put most of my focus on this chapter and the story so far.

    First of all, it's quite humorous that it was Choji that was immobilized like that, poor guy, made him feel weak and humiliated,

    One thing that it might be easy not to think too much of, but that I thought was a little funny and weird at the same time, is how the Naruto characters become these kind of superhumans compared to the HP characters. I know it's unavoidable, due to how they are portrayed, but it's a bit amusing to see how they are jumping down from the windows of their rooms or from the office of Hermione, which is pretty high up I presume, and then jumping back up without any of the HP characters even thinking about it

    It would be cool if some of the students exclaimed; "Wow, how did he jump that high up," etc.
    However, I guess this is made up for when Gaara and Yamato shows of their constructive skills.

    The fight was intriguing. It couldn't have been easy to describe as there is no "evidence" of how a ninja attack would clash with a wizard attack. I don't think we saw too much of that in this fight, as you might have avoided the attacks clashing too much on purpose? I still feel this fight was pretty cool and a look at what to come. Maybe we will have a bijuu dama clashing with some sort of Avada Kedavra from Voldemort?

    For some reason I'm picturing the Kabuto - Voldemort relationship to be like Tobi - Kabuto or Oro - Sasuke for some reason, only that the events are turned around. Can't wait to see what's in store for upcoming chapters, and I do hope you'll be able to start writing fully again, like you promised, and perhaps even at the same time as I?

    The story so far is pretty well made. I feel like we've had a roller coaster of build ups and fights, which has been well mixed and blended. I feel like I did enjoy the four first chapters and the two last best for some reason, but that might be because 5-7 was mainly focused on character relation and story making, which is good, but perhaps it was a little dragged out due to the time-laps they were released, making those three chapters feel like standing still at times. All in all, this is one of, if not the best cross over FFs out there, and it's definitely top 5 at NB and I do think that you're still managing to get each new chapter done quite well, even if you haven't been able to write for awhile. I know the feeling that you're not sure how the latest chapters have fared due to the time laps between them, but trust me, you're improving your writing ability for each chapter that comes, and there is only one way to go from here, and that is up.

    So all that remains now is to ask; when is the next chapter scheduled?
    I forgot about that reserved post Will make one next time I post the chapter then.

    I never thought like that for Choji. I guess my focus was so much onto portraying the pest nature of Eloise that I forgot about Choji's feeling in that one.

    Yeah, but again, dementors can fly as well as wizards on brooms. Some wizards perform transfiguration which is somewhat like a teleportation process. And so on... So, I guess I didn't make much an issue with the jumping process. I did make it for Gaara and Yamato cause I think, landscape chaging is quite a sight. But yeah, the ninjas are kinda aliens in the story but it's not that they will obligatorily dominate the action procedures. After all, they are in a much diminutive amount compared to the wizards. I should not reveal too many spoilers.

    Well, it's all per my imagination. We have absolutely no idea about how ninjas will fight with wizard and I did it as per my imagination. Obviously, I did not show much. This was kinda a warm-up fight for bigger ones. There'll be much more wizard v/s ninja clashes in many ways, that's for sure. As for Bijuu Dama v.s Avada Kedravra, lol no one green flash is too weak but there'll be diverse way to clash.

    Believe me, the relationships that Kabuto will have will be much bigger that what you can imagined. Even that with Voldemort. Though, they have like a..."snaky" connection But that's for fun. You already know a bit about where I am on my writing with the VMs.

    Thanks for the compliments. It's good to see your review back on one of my chapters with all those kind words and definitely feel nicer to see someone catching up with my FF despite so much time. Perhaps, this shows that atleast, my story did connect at a point so that you really make an effort to read it after all the time. Thanks again
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Haha I see Well the dude must be destroyed inside

    I see, well, well theorized, I like how you thought about it and I agree that landscape alteration is more of a "wow" factor

    Haha you got a point there, though it would be awesome to see Naruto tearing down forests and mountains with that attack, and Voldemort would grab his head and go like "wtf":rofl:

    Mhm, indeed
    Sure, this FF is more worthy than just a "friend read." Looking forward to see what's in store for us
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael92 View Post
    Haha I see Well the dude must be destroyed inside

    I see, well, well theorized, I like how you thought about it and I agree that landscape alteration is more of a "wow" factor

    Haha you got a point there, though it would be awesome to see Naruto tearing down forests and mountains with that attack, and Voldemort would grab his head and go like "wtf":rofl:

    Mhm, indeed
    Sure, this FF is more worthy than just a "friend read." Looking forward to see what's in store for us
    Possible...

    Indeed xD

    Euh, hell no. Or wait, I should perhaps make Naruto to blow up the entire Forbidden Forest and capture a grilled Kabuto

    Thanks. Keep you updated. Since I'm having exams results' on Monday, I'll see if I can release something before it.
     
         

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    Re: 6th Hokage Dimensional Chronicles ~ Chapter 9

    its reallly good i cant wait for the next chapter, i like the detail and how you mix everything up rather than just like the Ninja's are op hehe
     
         

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