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  1. #1
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Chapter 13: Brother vs. Brother


    Vincent gritted his teeth, “I will see Elizabeth again.” He said in an eerie, calm, tone.

    “Have you ever been able to beat me little brother?” Trevor teased as he leaned forward and rested his elbow on his leg. “As I recall, Elizabeth was the only one to have even put a scratch on me.”

    “Your arrogance is one to be desired.” Vincent smirked. “How does it feel to live in a constant state of ignorance?”

    Trevor’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, “How dare you.” Trevor stood to his feet, standing on the railing, “Show me how ignorant I am then, as I show you how truly weak you are.”

    Before Vincent could respond, Trevor jumped into the air and tossed a round ball shaped item to the floor. It popped open once it made contact with the floor and filled the room with smoke. Gabriel and Sophia were coughing harshly as they retreated outside so they could breathe again. “Same old tricks big brother.” Vincent said as he was holding one of the swords by the tassel on the bottom and spinning it so quickly that his arm and sword were blurred. He unsheathed his other sword and stopped the attack from behind him.

    Thanks to Vincent fanning the smoke away with his sword, the air had cleared now (also partly due to the door being open). “Very smart of you little brother.” Trevor responded as he dodged Vincent’s swipe from left to right with his sword.

    Vincent tossed his sword into the air and took out some throwing knives and threw them at Trevor. Trevor was distracted at first by the sword, but at the very last minute, he caught sight of the shimmering blades that were heading at him. He smiled deflecting the knives perfectly as Vincent caught the sword expertly and rushed at Trevor, not allowing him a moment to retaliate.

    Trevor caught the blade with his throwing knife and cringed at the sound of the metal scrapping together. He quickly ducked seeing the light reflect off the second sword that was coming at him for a fatal jab. The sword screeched in protest as it went into the stone wall. “That was a close one!” Trevor said as he jumped to the side a few times to put distance between himself and his brother. “Since when did you start carrying throwing knives on you?” He asked in a surprised manner.

    “It doesn’t matter.” Vincent said as he withdrew the blade from the wall.

    Vincent hurriedly rushed over to Trevor, knowing he was at a disadvantage when he gave his brother range. Trevor smiled as he caught Vincent’s blade again, this time with a spear that was lying on the ground from the slaughter Vincent was responsible for. The air filled with a loud clanking sound as the sword continuously met the spear’s metal shaft. Vincent kept the onslaughts of jabs coming as Trevor easily blocked them all. “Seems like you really aren’t as good as you showed with the guard incident.” Trevor frowned.

    Vincent’s eyes widen as rage began to well up inside him again. He always hated it when Trevor teased him about his level of skill. “Shut up.” Vincent growled out as his speed began to increase.

    Trevor continued to block as amusement danced in his eyes. His brother’s anger led to fast attacks, but they were still easy to read. “Isn’t it sad that Elizabeth, a woman, could even hand you your ass?” Trevor taunted as he fluently maneuvered around the blade’s jabs, dropping the spear in the process since he was faster without it. “Didn’t you two fight before, I mean a real fight?” He grinned as he dropped to the ground and swung his leg under Vincent, but Vincent easily jumped over and sent his sword into the ground were Trevor was just at.

    Trevor smirked as he was crouched down on the tips of his toes, bouncing happily on them. He had rolled away at the last moment, before the blade could pierce him. “That’s none of your business!” Vincent growled out louder as his body began to tremble with fury.

    “Oh did you two have a small quarrel?” Trevor taunted in a cheeky tone as he hopped over his brother’s blades and kneed him in the face, sending him flying into the staircase. “Are you going to put up a decent fight Vincent or should I just slit your throat now?” Trevor sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other in a bored fashion.

    Vincent sat up as pain traveled in his back from the sudden impact with the now broken remains of the railing. A trail of blood seeped out from his busted lip, but he ignored it as he stood to his feet, stumbling from the pain the wood had caused him. “You know nothing about us!” Vincent glared as he picked up the sword that had fallen out of his hand, having lost the other during the commotion. Out of anger, he put all his strength into a throw and released the blade’s hilt, making it slice through the air at such a high speed that the blade vibrated and created a swishing sound.

    Trevor sidestepped to his left, completely avoiding the rampaging path the blade was on and watched as it cut through a post and screeched as it made a new home in the stone wall. The floor above, that the post was holding up, dropped down a few inches as the wood made a straining sound of trying to hold a weight it could no longer support. “If I hadn’t moved.” Trevor said softly as he felt himself flying into the wall. When he made contact with the wall, he quickly fell to the ground and rolled out of the way. Vincent was crouched down in the spot where Trevor had landed, fist through the floor. Trevor’s eyes widen in fear as searing pain quickly licked at his bruised cheek. (The pains from that punch, made the pain in his back from the collision with the wall seem obsolete.)

    Vincent stood to his feet as blood trickled down his fingers from the skin that was slit open from the force he had used in that punch. Trevor took a defensive stance, knowing his brother could have done some serious damage with that last blow. He glanced back behind him, trying to get a good look of his surroundings as he caught his brother’s fist. A snapping sound was heard from the impact as pain traveled throughout his palm. He cringed as Vincent pushed him back with more jabs with his fists. He blocked the best that he could, pushing back the pain that swelled up inside him from the punch to the face, the crashing into the wall, and the now broken hand. Trevor blinked continuously as he tried to keep his eyes on his brother’s attacks, but even for someone with a trained eye, it was becoming more and more difficult to read Vincent’s movements.

    Vincent sent his foot into his brother’s stomach, sending him soaring to the other side of the room again. Trevor maneuvered himself so he just skidded across the wooden surface, catching the railing as a means to help stop him self from making contact with the wall behind him. Trevor coughed out spraying blood into the inside of his elbow, as he used it to cover up his cough. His breathing became heavy as each breath hurt more than the last one. He could feel the minor damage done to his rib cage from the kick, but the damage wasn’t severe.

    Vincent watched his brother carefully as he planned the next few moves in his mind. “Not bad.” Trevor coughed out. “She must really be important to you.” He smiled softly, showing his blood stained chin.

    “That is of no concern to you.” Vincent said as he swiftly jumped over the broken debris from the remains of the staircase, to get to Trevor.

    Trevor took note of his brother’s proceedings and quickly retreated after witnessing the power Vincent seemed to acquire. He threw a wave of throwing knives at Vincent in an attempt to push him back some until he could calculate another plan. Vincent picked up a sword and twirled it, making all the knives clank against the blade and fall to the ground at his feet. “Most impressive.” Trevor complemented as he jumped onto the unbroken part of the railing.

    Vincent ran towards his brother dodging more knives that were being thrown at him, even swinging his sword at a few, batting it right back at his brother; forcing him to jump out of the way. Vincent jumped onto the railing and chased after his brother, thrusting his sword in a way that his arm looked blurred. Trevor continued to evade his brother’s insane speed he was using with the weapon. Vincent swung his sword, which only caused Trevor to flip off the end of the railing, and grab a hold of the edge of the over passes that was above him. “You’re really good at dodging.” Vincent said calmly as he spotted his sword that he chucked at Trevor earlier, still sticking out of the wall.

    “So are you brother.” Trevor said as he took out a small spherical object and was about to drop it down towards his brother.

    Vincent wasted no time as he jumped on the blade and propelled him self up towards his brother, grabbing his waist and tackling him to the ground, before the sphere could escape his hand. Trevor kicked Vincent off him with ease, but received a slash to the face in their little dance towards the ground. “Looks like I scratched you with your own blade.” Vincent pointed out holding a throwing knife that had blood dripping off the tip of it.

    Trevor’s eyes widen as he felt the crimson liquid glide down the cheek he hadn’t received the punch to. “When the hell did you take my knife?” He asked in amazement at the sudden theft of his own weapon. “No matter, I have plenty more.” He said taking out 4 more and throwing them at his brother.

    “Of course you do.” He said sarcastically. “I would be disappointed if you didn’t. Elizabeth carries like a hundred of them on her.” He said casually as he flipped backwards, dodging the knives and also retrieving his sword from the wall. He tossed the throwing knife to the side as he grabbed both swords, one in each hand and charged his brother again. Trevor couldn’t run off as Vincent blocked his escape path. He could only block his brother’s vicious onslaught of attacks with the throwing knives he had in each hand. “No where to run brother.” Vincent said as Trevor blocked Vincent’s sword that was now inches from his neck.

    “Wrong, there is always somewhere to run.” Trevor said as he sidestepped and disappeared into the shadows, vanishing completely. “Sorry little bro.” Trevor whispered in Vincent’s ear as a sharp pain traveled through his right leg.

    Vincent’s eyes widen, not understanding how his brother was able to get behind him without noticing. He looked down to see a throwing knife sticking out of his leg. “Why my leg? You could have ended my life right then and there.” Vincent asked as pain traveled into his leg, from the entrance wound.

    “Oh give me credit little brother. I wouldn’t kill you, at least not as quickly. I rather enjoy toying with my victims. Let’s see how fast you are now with that injury shall we? I have to make you pay for injuring me.” He said in a tone that matched the glaze of malice in his eyes. He pulled out the orb he had in his hand before the fall and asked, “Shall I tell you what’s in this sphere?”

    Vincent cringed as he grabbed a hold of the throwing knife and ripped it out of his leg and flung it in the direction of the globe shaped object. Trevor blocked it with one of his knives and smiled at his little brother. “If you’re going to kill me at least spare me having to listen to your mouth, that’s worse than death.” Vincent sighed as he reached back behind him.

    “As you wish baby brother.” Trevor said as he pitched the small object towards Vincent’s feet. Vincent leaped backwards as a poisonous gas filled the air. Vincent quickly realized what it was and held his breath as he grabbed what he had hid behind him. “One whiff of this gas will knock you out for days as it slowly deteriorates your lungs, eating the tissue inside and slowly suffocating you.” Trevor said after he placed a mask on his face to prevent him self from breathing any in.

    Vincent felt his lungs begin to burn from lack of oxygen so he threw the entity he held in his hand at the wall, making it crumble and cause an explosion big enough to clear the air. The detonation created a vacuum affect as the outside air pulled the poisonous gas out along with all the wreckage the wall caused from collapsing. Vincent still held his breathe as he landed delicately on his good leg and on his right knee. Once the air was cleared completely he let his breath he was holding out and gasped for oxygen, easing the burning sensation in his lungs. “Since when did you carry explosives?” Vincent gasped out as he desperately tried to replenish his lungs with oxygen.

    “I’m a master at many things my dear brother. I do what I must to maintain distance from my enemy and also flee safely. Fascinating, so I’m guessing you took that bomb the same time you took the throwing knife?” Trevor asked as he took the mask off. “Very witty of you Vincent, if you hadn’t caused that explosion then you would have surely died and then I would sadly be forced to kill those weaklings by the door. What fun would that be?” He shrugged as he laughed at his words. “Besides, you were very lucky, that sphere could have been anything.” He added as he placed a hand to his ribs, as pain mounted inside, sending him into a coughing fit.

    Vincent never took his gaze off his brother as he opened his shirt, after he stopped coughing. “What are you doing?” Vincent asked in a puzzled tone.

    “I’m showing you that I have no more bombs on me.” He smiled a cheeky grin as his well-built chest was exposed to the cooler air, sending small goose bumps up his body from the sudden change. Clear bruising contrasted against his paler skin, from the brutal kick Vincent delivered earlier.

    “Put your shirt back on, nobody wants to see that.” Vincent glared.

    “Fine.” Vincent sighed as he buttoned his shirt back up and then grinned wickedly at his brother. “Shall we continue then?” He said as he quickly charged him. He threw a punch and Vincent easily caught it as he slid back slightly from the force of the collision. They had no more weapons and Vincent’s swords were out of reach, so now it was down to hand to hand unless they came across any of the throwing knives that were scattered about the floor.

    “Lucky catch.” Trevor said as he fell backwards, shooting his leg up, kicking Vincent in the face, but Vincent moved as he grabbed a hold of his brother’s leg and tossed him like a rag doll a few feet away. Trevor maneuvered himself in the air so he would land on his feet, like he always seemed to do. He skidded across one of the puddles of blood from the guards and then kicked up a sword, by the hilt. He caught it expertly, with his uninjured hand, and smiled, “Oh what a shame, you tossed me to where I could find a weapon. How stupid of you little brother.” Trevor taunted, trying to make Vincent lose his cool again, but he remained focused.

    Trevor swiftly jumped in the air, becoming a blur to the untrained eye as he dived down towards Vincent. Vincent caught the sword by placing his hands on either side of the blade. His skin slid across the blade expertly so he didn’t cut himself and yanked the sword out of Trevor’s grasp. “Now who’s the one without a weapon?” Vincent asked as he held a defensive position, while remaining crouched downward.

    Trevor growled at first and then smiled, “Doesn’t matter I’m still faster than you.” He teased as he charged at him again, ducking the swing Vincent attempted to counter with. Once the sword had gone around Trevor, Vincent shifted it so the blade would come down at him. He did it so quickly that Trevor was forced to stop the blade with his bad hand. He cringed as the blade easily divided his skin and blood quickly drizzled down his arm.

    “That’s no way to catch a blade.” Vincent said as he punched Trevor in the face, sending him airborne into the staircase. Vincent stabbed the ground with the sword and used it to help balance himself into a standing position.

    Trevor sat up just to feel cold steel pressed gently to his neck. His eyes widen as he realized Vincent was standing over top of him, not bothered by the pain in his leg. “So what now?” Trevor questioned seriously seeing as his brother could end his life at any moment.

    “Tell me everything you know about Elizabeth.” Vincent commanded.

    “Only if you let me walk out of here alive.” Trevor bargained.

    “Why would I do that? Who’s to say you won’t go back to your precious employer?” Vincent asked with a menacing glare.

    “I would rather see that bastard dead.” Trevor answered truthfully. “Who better to do that then my own little brother.”

    “Fine, speak quickly.” Vincent ordered, still keeping the blade to Trevor’s throat, in case he tried anything.

    “Well tomorrow our-“ Vincent pressed the sword to his throat, nipping at the skin causing it to bleed a little as if he had cut himself shaving. “Ok your Elizabeth will be getting wedded to that arrogant prince.” Trevor rephrased not wanting to have his throat slashed open. “Tomorrow shortly after noon. I wasn’t given anymore detail than that.”

    “Is there anything else you know about all the corruption?” Vincent asked softly.

    “No, I only know what I was told. The prince keeps most things to himself. He’s become a bit more paranoid as of recent.”

    “How so?” Vincent asked curiously.

    “He’s tightened security, though I don’t understand why he’s more paranoid in the past few days, than his normal paranoia.”

    “Fine you can go.” Vincent said as he withdrew the blade and placed it a top of his shoulder.

    “Wait, why were you sent to kill my family?” Gabriel asked as him and Sophia entered the room again once the commotion had ended.

    “You really don’t want to know kid.” Trevor said with a smirk as he wrapped up his hand, still lying on the ground.

    “Yes I do!” Gabriel growled out, tired of all the secrecy.

    “Some things are better left unknown.” Trevor said as he stood to his feet with difficulty, from the pain in his ribs.

    “I want to know what the hell is going on!” Gabriel yelled in an aggravated tone. “Don’t I deserve an explanation from one of the men that murdered my family and kidnapped my mom?” He shouted angrily.

    “Ah so then that was your mom that I took back to the castle then.” Trevor said knowingly.

    Gabriel’s eyes sparkled with hope, “Is she ok?” He asked as he quickly changed his tone.

    “She’s fine, she is serving as Elizabeth’s care taker at the moment, fortunate for her. I’m sure Elizabeth will keep her protected for your sake.” Trevor said softly.

    Trevor started for the door when Gabriel turned, “Wait! Why did you kill my family?” Gabriel asked in a pleading tone.

    Trevor turned and sighed, “You won’t like what I have to tell you. Do you still want to know?”

    Gabriel looked Trevor straight in the eyes as Sophia tended to Vincent’s wound, “More than anything.”


    To be continued…Thank you to everyone that continues to read my works. I hope you enjoyed this one. It put up a small fight. I'm not sure when Chapter 14 will be out, but I hope it's soon. To everyone that celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope you had a good one!


     
         
    Last edited by ThatOneChick; 11-25-2011 at 03:59 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member iamkawaii08's Avatar
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    A little piece of your soul
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    first to post!!! :overjoy:

    okay Imma read it now..:3
     
         

  3. #3
    Senior Member Saito.'s Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Damit second to post..>.< Read it when I have read chapter 12..
     
         

  4. #4
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by iamkawaii08 View Post
    first to post!!! :overjoy:

    okay Imma read it now..:3
    Quote Originally Posted by Mrmetal View Post
    Damit second to post..>.< Read it when I have read chapter 12..
    :rofl: you two crack me up
     
         

  5. #5
    Senior Member Talk No Jutsu's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Epic fight in an Epic Chapter :}
     
         

  6. #6
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    EPIC...i you
     
         

  7. #7
    Zwei's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Dammit. >.< another epic chapter of le ThatOneChick, My big sister.
     
         

  8. #8
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by Talk No Jutsu View Post
    Epic fight in an Epic Chapter :}
    ty for reading it! glad you liked it made some last minute changes to it lastnight and was strongly willed on getting it out today like I had promised

    Quote Originally Posted by pradattauchiha View Post
    EPIC...i you
    Quote Originally Posted by Norman Jayden View Post
    Dammit. >.< another epic chapter of le ThatOneChick, My big sister.
    lol ty both for reading it! hope u enjoyed it ^_^
    @ Norman lol y the damnit
     
         

  9. #9
    Senior Member iamkawaii08's Avatar
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    A little piece of your soul
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    arrgghh.. I knew it would be an epic fight!!! :overjoy:

    but dang the cliff hanger again!!!
     
         

  10. #10
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by iamkawaii08 View Post
    arrgghh.. I knew it would be an epic fight!!! :overjoy:

    but dang the cliff hanger again!!!
    lol yeah i told u it would be bad (Cliff hanger)
    yeah the fight was a little different than my usual ones well with the bombs anyways I had to give Trevor something different that he mastered at. You know :D
     
         

  11. #11
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Awesome Chapter ^_^
     
         

  12. #12
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by Bisma View Post
    Awesome Chapter ^_^
    ty for reading it! ^_^ glad you liked it
     
         

  13. #13
    Insomnia is a bitch... Two's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Epic chapter and loved the fight scene ........ but Trevor is still the best snm:y
     
         

  14. #14
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by Two View Post
    Epic chapter and loved the fight scene ........ but Trevor is still the best snm:y
    yeah Trevor is awesome, even if he's a little look at me look at me. lol
    Glad you liked this one better
     
         

  15. #15
    Sage of the Six Paths rezaamani's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    why,why ,why,why,why am i the last one to read my littls sister's work? is there any heartbroken image to post here
    well i again encountered amazing structures such as Vincent tossed his sword ,Vincent gritted his teeth,and so on
    the conversations are as superb as ever, the fighs were epic.little sis,you are amaziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing,lots of love and kisses
     
         

  16. #16
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    another good one
     
         

  17. #17
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    epicly amazing
     
         

  18. #18
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by rezaamani View Post
    why,why ,why,why,why am i the last one to read my littls sister's work? is there any heartbroken image to post here
    well i again encountered amazing structures such as Vincent tossed his sword ,Vincent gritted his teeth,and so on
    the conversations are as superb as ever, the fighs were epic.little sis,you are amaziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing,lots of love and kisses
    lol ty glad you liked and if you talked to me sooner you would have known :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Dave View Post
    another good one
    you read it?! ty! ^_^ didn't know if this was your cup of tea or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by dragongoku View Post
    epicly amazing
    ty ^_^ I worked hard on the fight scene
     
         

  19. #19
    Senior Member iamkawaii08's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    see see.. everyone loves your chappy..
     
         

  20. #20
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by iamkawaii08 View Post
    see see.. everyone loves your chappy..
    lol yes they do
     
         

  21. #21
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Yes, I wanna know! I can handle the truth... O.O

    Great action scenes! I felt like I was in the room watching it in HD.

    So, why is it that good songs always come on when I read your works?
    *sigh* so this time it was:
    Rage Against The Machine - Roll Right
     
         

  22. #22
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhisattva View Post
    Yes, I wanna know! I can handle the truth... O.O

    Great action scenes! I felt like I was in the room watching it in HD.

    So, why is it that good songs always come on when I read your works?
    *sigh* so this time it was:
    Rage Against The Machine - Roll Right
    lol maybe because you plan it! ^_^
    Idk just great timing I guess.
    :rofl: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
    I've heard of that band via guitar hero I think...I'm not sure anymore i'd have to check it out!
     
         

  23. #23
    Reborn's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    you left me with a cliffhanger How do you expect me to wait so long to find out Trevor's reasons for killing Gabriel's family, the suspence is killing me *gazes to see chapters 14 and 15* -_- wait nevermind.

    I loved that battle, in the type of stories I do, there isn't much dialouge that can be worked in with the battles, I mean with shinobi, you have the opening dialoge when each character spouts their playful banter or serious exclimation then the battle, then the ending words. You'll occasionally have the side comments here and there when one character is getting his ass handed to him and the other is handing him the ass but that's it.

    I really enjoyed how you had Vincint and Trevor with the conversation in their battle, multi-tasking ftw, and finally Vincint gets the win over Trevor.

    Score Board

    Vincint: 1
    Trevor: 10+

    Trevor: I still have more wins then you little bro

    Vincint: But not all of them *****! Haha

    Trevor: -_-

    And I love how you ended the chapter with that little suspence with revealing the situation behind Gabriel's clan/father's murder and everything. The whole ending of the chapter with Lizzy being betrothed to the king or whatever, this seems like it's leading up to a climax, a build of everything and shit's about to get real (from the words of Kevin Hart)

    On to chapter 14, and I promise I'll be a good student from now on and stay up to date with your chapters and hopefully epicness will rub off on me that's the only way I can improve my writing at this point.
     
         

  24. #24
    Fiona Glenanne ThatOneChick's Avatar
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    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    Quote Originally Posted by Reborn View Post
    you left me with a cliffhanger How do you expect me to wait so long to find out Trevor's reasons for killing Gabriel's family, the suspence is killing me *gazes to see chapters 14 and 15* -_- wait nevermind.

    I loved that battle, in the type of stories I do, there isn't much dialouge that can be worked in with the battles, I mean with shinobi, you have the opening dialoge when each character spouts their playful banter or serious exclimation then the battle, then the ending words. You'll occasionally have the side comments here and there when one character is getting his ass handed to him and the other is handing him the ass but that's it.

    I really enjoyed how you had Vincint and Trevor with the conversation in their battle, multi-tasking ftw, and finally Vincint gets the win over Trevor.

    Score Board

    Vincint: 1
    Trevor: 10+

    Trevor: I still have more wins then you little bro

    Vincint: But not all of them *****! Haha

    Trevor: -_-

    And I love how you ended the chapter with that little suspence with revealing the situation behind Gabriel's clan/father's murder and everything. The whole ending of the chapter with Lizzy being betrothed to the king or whatever, this seems like it's leading up to a climax, a build of everything and shit's about to get real (from the words of Kevin Hart)

    On to chapter 14, and I promise I'll be a good student from now on and stay up to date with your chapters and hopefully epicness will rub off on me that's the only way I can improve my writing at this point.
    Yes in Chapter 16, it does get real :overjoy: Ty for reading it Reborn, your feed back is much appreciated! Yes multitasking ftw! I felt that the conversation was just right. I mean between brothers, there will always be that teasing and such, so I thought it was appropriate. Chapter 14 isn't my fave and tastes like a filler to me >.> I hope that my works give you ideas and help you improve ^_^
     
         

  25. #25
    ☆NR#1 Stalker on NB☆ Aze's Avatar
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    Revz
     

    Re: Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

    This affected me on a personal level, It has some unique atributes wat I see for the first time.

    Have you had some lessons by a proffesional?

    If not then your suberb^^

    The Psychological factor is incredible.

    That's why I gonna Rep this.
     
         

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